Any suggestions/strategies for bathing?

Palentini

Mom is refusing help with bathing. She gets a CNA every morning through Medicaid because of physical disabilities she is in denial about (mobility/fall risk and vision). She is exceptionally stubborn about bathing. And she is suffering because of it. Here in Colorado it’s very dry and her skin is dry and she’s itching a lot. We’ve explained to her that showering and putting on some lotion, which she won’t let the CNA Help her with either, will make her more comfortable. She just gets angry and screechy and digs in.

The reasons she gives is she doesn’t want anyone to see her “old, wrinkly body” and no one in her family ever needed help. I wish I could say this was new behavior but this was always a common way for her to get her way. She will just scream and argue and throw such a tantrum that the other person would give up.

I am also worried about UTI. That’s been a problem in the past. She could be doing very, very well if she would just accept help. I am worried that one of these conditions will land her in the hospital and potentially nursing care.

What’s holding her and all of us together is that she’s in her home and with her dog and her familiar things. I fear a rapid decline if she winds up in the hospital or a nursing home. So does anyone have any strategies that have worked in getting a loved one to bathe?

Please share them, and thank you. 

Stuck in the middle

DW seldom showers. She washes the stinky areas every morning with a wash cloth and calls it good.  She doesn't smell or appear dirty otherwise, so I don't have a problem with it.

For the itch, my dermatologist recommends Eucerin Skin Calming Lotion.  I really like it.  My widowed FIL found he could apply lotion to his back by squirting it on a back brush.  It soaks in better after a shower, while the skin is moist, but going on dry is better than nothing.

Hope this helps.

JDancer

With the hot weather, my DH initiates bathing on his own, but last Winter was a struggle. We have a big Jacuzzi tub, so I did "spa days." Talked it up- "spa day, spa day..." Then bubbles, music, candles if you like. Followed by a much needed mani/pedi. if you have a tub, bubbles might help keep her covered enough to be comfortable. And many bubble products can moisturize.

Elshack

I would not suggest bubble baths. They are a prime reason for getting UTIs!

mommyandme (m&m)

I wonder how often she’s expected to bathe? Of course her activity level may dictate that to some extent.  Daily bathing is definitely not necessary in many cases. 

I brought my mom to Colorado to live just over a year ago.  She has 24/7 care. She needs help toileting so I or the help make sure she stays clean and dry, she wears pull-ups. 

Her skin does get very dry. If I put lotion on too, she’s happy to get the pampering. Maybe doing it along side her could help.  Aveeno 1% Hydrocortisone cream is our go to for itchy spots or whole areas. It’s been a staple in my home for years.

Washing with warm water and soap can dry the skin too, without the climate adding to it.  Maybe once or twice a week baths could suffice. 

Offering a special treat or an outing may encourage her to get in the tub.

I’m sorry for your struggles, this is all so hard. 

abc123

My mother was extremely difficult to bath. Major struggle which she often won. We recently signed up with a hospice. The aid we have is wonderful and experienced! She gives mom a bed bath 5 days a week. Yesterday she got mom into the shower and gave her a good scrubbing. Mom complains, tells the aid to leave bc she can do it herself, on and on with reasons for the aid to leave. Mom will now be showered every Tuesday and Thursday. The key to this great success, in our case is the aid is extremely experienced with dementia patients. 

Todays conversation went like this.

Aid: Bye Miss Dolly. I'll see you tomorrow.

Mom: No! Don't come. I don't need you.

Aid : Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

Mom: Oh good! I'll see you tomorrow!