Poem I wrote about my mom

Natasha Cruz-Segarra

  What is she looking at? Who does she see?

Does she know who I am when she’s looking at me?

  I am her daughter, the youngest of two.

She shakes her head no but I swear it is true

  How could this happen, how could it be?

My mother not knowing it’s me that she see’s 

  I then ask her, who am I ,what is my name?

She answers correctly but me & her daughter are not one & the same.

   I nod my head and do not say a word,

Trying not to show emotion from the words I just heard

    I know it’s not her fault & she is not to blame

But the pain is pain and it still hurts just the same

    I want to yell and scream for I am so mad

Alzheimer’s robbed me of  the mother I had

Arrowhead

You have plenty of company. I experience much of the same, except that it's not my mother, it's my wife of 44 years. Most of the people on these forums relate to your words. We all experience this illness differently, but we all feel pain because of it. My wife’s memory is shot, but for now, at least, she can still mostly take care of herself, with help. I would rather have her like this, than to not have her at all. Still, there are times that I wish it would all be over, but then I remember that when it is, I’ll be alone.

wyoming daughter

It is indeed, a cruel, soul-robbing disease that takes away everything that makes us human.  We cannot change that, so we try mightily to stay on the positive side, to be courageous and still see the good, the ridiculous, the heart-warming, no matter how small or infrequent....it's so hard to see someone battle ALZ, I can't imagine being the one afflicted with it.

mommyandme (m&m)

Beautiful poem and eloquently said!

Thank you for sharing, we are not alone.

Tinakatrina

What a heartfelt tribute.

abc123

Dear Natasha,

Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us. I am 61 years old and I feel the same way about my mom as you feel about yours. I lost my husband and two close friends to cancer, I've also lost very dear friends to AIDS, as a teenager I lost a dear friend to leukemia. Each one of those loses were heartbreaking, each disease was horrible. I think Alzheimer's/Dementia is the absolute worse disease of all. It completely takes everything from its victims, everything. I am very sorry for you and your sweet momma. I noticed you joined the forum last October and have only posted twice. When you are feeling down or need to share your feelings or have questions, please come here and post. There are people here of all ages and backgrounds, from different races and religions to different countries and beliefs. BUT we all have one thing that unites us, this awful disease. We support each other and encourage each other. We also have many wise people here with many years of experience and wisdom, as well a some people who are very knowledgeable with legal matters. We don't always agree but we always support each other and we try to respect each other. I encourage you to come here often because there is so much to learn. Hang in there Natasha! You have us, you are not alone.

Sincerely,

abc123