need help getting the real story from my mom

Sheila_C

Hi guys, new member. My mother has dementia and has recently been put into assisted living. She keeps calling us saying that she needs to go to a hospital, but she can't tell us what is wrong. I don't know what "hospital" means to her or what she expects to have done at a hospital. 

She only respects the opinion of men, so I'm kind of thinking we need to take her to a male doctor who will tell her nothing is physically wrong (which there doesn't seem to be). She's seen nurses and a staff doctor at the AL, but they've all been female, or "lady doctors", as she puts it. 

But is there something I can do to spark an actual answer? Does anyone have a suggestion for how to ask the right question? I feel like too many people just say 'does anything hurt' or 'how are you', to which she always shays she's fine. Do I need to go body part by body part, asking if each bothers her?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Marta

Sheila:  your Mom recognizes that something is wrong, but she cannot verbalize what that is. Her saying that she needs to go to the hospital may be just that:  a way to say I am scared, confused, lonely, and so on, rather than an expression of physical discomfort.  Under those circumstances, it maybe helpful to validate her fear and provide reassurance. 

Watch videos on YouTube by Naomi Veil about validation. 

aod326

This morning I received a timely email from Arden Courts, which is the MC DH was in. They have a webinar in September titled "Pain and Other Assessments in a person with Dementia", being presented by Tam Cummings. 

I don't know how to include a link, but go onto:

www.arden-courts.org/virtual-events.