AL companion or aide

LisaLH

Has anyone hired a aide for their LO in AL?  My step father is in AL and is high functioning Alz. but I feel he needs more.  I do not want to put him in MC until I absolutely have to.  I feel if I hired someone, who hopefully would be a friend of a friend or family, He/I would get a more dependable situation.  He needs someone to remind him to bathe and take our his dentures and to walk around outside with.  I am 4 hours round trip away from him and even if he was closer I couldn't be there as much as I would want someone to be.  He talks well, feeds himself and for a funny still gets up everyday and puts on his 501 button up Levi's with his shirt tuck in.  The AL has personal care I can pay for but that is just 2x a week shower etc.  Just curious if anyone has done this or opinions.  Thanks

Lschedler

I am in very similar situation with my mother who is in AL.  I am reaching out to the staff at her AL to see what our options are.  I would love to hire someone to take her on a little walk, or just check on her .  The AL offers a lot of activity… but they do not reach out or encourage.

King Boo

And therein is the problem with being in AL when you are midstage.

Many have done this as a very temporary 'stop gap' measure - it can work for a while (months) if you find an engaging individual your parent likes. 

But, it's not a replacement for dementia level monitoring that MC has (keeps track of their residents, do room checks at night, escort for dinner, schedule and assist with bathing and meds).    Many PWD find themselves 'lost' in AL.  There can be a social pecking order in some - i.e. those more debilitated are shut out by others without as severe cognitive issues.  

Safety often becomes an issue when they are disoriented at night.  So it pays to have your choice of MC ready and to move before a crisis.

Consider moving him near you.  As the decline happens, it's very stressful making life and death decisions by phone, or not being able to go and assess a situation on site.

Not moving 'until you absolutely have to' can be in part based upon finances. There is no doubt MC is more expensive.   But many of our LO thrive when they go to MC because they are more supported, activities are more suited, they receive more monitering.  So be careful - just about all of us, at placement, think our LO is 'higher functioning' than other residents.

Emily 123

An aide would be a good option for walks.  I see aides at my mom's place all the time.  

You won't be the first person asking this question at the facility, so perhaps they have some solutions.

I agree that you may want take a look around at what's nearer to you with an eye towards eventual MC.  Some AL's can be dementia focused, with extra staff training. Some may say they are, but the program and their MC may just be an afterthought.  All will base their 'rent' on a tiered level of care, but even those aren't usually staffed for individual activities.  I think there are some helpful threads here on what to look for in those type of facilities, but part of the service should be reminders of events.  My mom is in one and can still get going to an activity as long as she's reminded, so they run by to prompt her and I send her an email each day with the activities from the facility monthly web calendar.

What I do hear is that places may be having trouble retaining staff, so if you were to eventually make a move, make sure that whatever care level & activities you're asking for are actually going to be provided.  The requirements you want (activity prompts, etc) should be in the care plan you would sign off on at intake.

Another option if you do a move might be a care home, where there may be less residents and programs, but more one on one interactions, perhaps with the option of daily walks.

harshedbuzz

I agree with King Boo that moving near you asap makes the most sense. A fall or illness could change everything and close the window for a move in a heartbeat. 

It seems that by the time most PWD are avoiding showers and have slipped around routine hygiene stuff like dental care, they're well into the moderate stages of the disease. 

He sounds like MC or a very high acuity AL for MC would be a better fit. Or you could try an AL near you with a combination of personal care from staff and a visiting companion. A few of the residents in dad's MCF had outside caregivers visit for companionship.

IME, showers are given twice weekly in most places unless there's a need to do it more often because of incontinence.

Rescue mom

My mom was in AL and MC in two facilities. I hired an aide/companion to come in a few hours a day (in addition to the facility staff) and many other residents also had private aides come in. I also know people now with parents in facilities, and they also have a privately hired aide just for their parent. The private person might do some light laundry, make sure they were dressed ok, take for walks, escort to programs, etc. What you said.

In short, it’s not unusual at all to do this. IME, the facility staff was glad to have the extra help. The staff could have done everything needed, or the basics, but we all felt a little more/extra personal attention was good.