New stage, sleeping, and support for mom

ninalu

Hi Everyone!
I'm the only daughter of my mom, who's mid-stage Alzheimer's, possibly beginning the transition to late stage.

Mom is in a nursing home for the past year. Prior to her entering last August, I lived with her and provided in-home care (with the support of local agencies - her daycare, companion caregivers, some friends, and visiting nurses.) I'm her only daughter and we've had a lifelong close connection. We haven't always agreed on things (grin), but we have always stayed in touch. Since her divorce from my father, I've been her "person" and in some ways, her closest friend.
 
Since Mom's facility reopened for in-person visits, I've been visiting frequently. In the past few weeks, mom has gradually become more and more sleepy. At times she has difficulty holding her head up. She's now mostly in a wheelchair and not doing assisted transfers Sometimes she falls asleep while we're talking, and we simply hold hands for a while (which she seems to find soothing.) I want to continue to be there with her in this stage. It's important to me that she not feel pressured to verbalize. Talking & listening exhaust her at times. Aside from noticeable fatigue, I don't see any other clear changes. She still recognizes me as a trusted person. Still reaches for me when I come to visit. She has a warm relationship with the staff, which I'm grateful for.

I'm writing to ask for any advice you all have about how to be supportive to her as she is more sleepy and needs more rest. Also how to best advocate for her with respect to the facility wanting her to be up / awake / participating. Maybe there are things I should look out for?

I know this is a broad question; thanks in advance for your perspective and wisdom.

Deanna_M

Hi Ninalu- I had asked almost the very same question on this forum a couple of weeks ago. My mother, too,  nods off when I visit her in the nursing home. My mother, until recently, was like the energizer bunny. Even when she became wheelchair bound and completely confused, she would still be very busy, just scooting around and trying to talk to people. It is so strange, and frankly upsetting, to see my mother so lethargic. 

I had called the nurse to see if they had changed meds or if there was anything else medical that I needed to be aware of. She said "no."

I guess that I am of the mindset now that this is her progression of the disease. If she dozes off when I visit, I sit there anyways. I would like to think that my presence is reassuring and comforting, even if she is nodding off.

I am sorry you are going through this too.

ninalu

Thanks Deanna_M! 
I will look for your post from a couple weeks back, too.