Funny things our LOs say

JoseyWales

I've had an almost impossible time understanding what DH is saying lately, lots of word salad. I used to be able to figure it out fairly well, but any more I find myself saying, "I don't know, can you ask me again?" 

Today it was total gibberish. I just looked at him and said, "I don't understand. Tell me again." And with a gleam in his eye he said, "What, you don't speak German?"  Then laughed.

That sense of humor is still there!

DJnAZ

It is great to see he has a sense of humor. 

My wife, although only recently diagnosed with MCI, speaks word salad a lot. If the words aren't mixed up in a sentence they are mispronounced or basically nonsensical. Although in her mind she seems to know exactly what she is saying. When I ask her to please repeat something (I tell her I didn't hear what she said) she usually just smiles.

I hope she maintains her smile through the abject misery that is this disease. Thanks for your post, it gave me something to smile about too. 

Joe C.

I have posted this on before but it’s worth a repeat. We were watching TV and an advertisement for a national flooring company  comes on: DW say “I don’t know what’s wrong with that women”, I asked, “Why” and DW replies, “Every time I see her she is wearing the same dress”.

About a week ago we were driving through a parking lot we passed a small group of aging/bearded bikers, DW says, “They look like goats”, I had to agree.

Jeff86

This afternoon DW was talking to the dog.  This went on for a few minutes, and included some questions.

Then she turned to me, in exasperation, and said, “The dog didn’t answer me.  Do you think she didn’t hear me?  Should I speak louder?”

I just smiled and said, “Maybe try again in a few minutes.”  Knowing, of course, that DW would forget.

Jeff86

And another thing just today!  DW asked me, twice, how my wife is doing!

Of course, these things fall into the funny/sad category.  Kinda like that old Sondheim song, Sorry-Grateful.

JoseyWales

These crack me up!  Thanks for sharing!

Paris20

My husband and I used to travel every year. Being a francophile, I made sure that we visited France at least once a year. The other day, DH and I were watching a program about the top ten foods to try in Paris. At one point, the tour guide was discussing the best baguettes in the best boulangerie. My husband said, “We must stop by that bakery before we leave.” I asked if he thought we were in Paris. He answered, “Of course. Where do YOU think we are?” I said that I was sorry to tell him we were home. He thought I was nuts…and said so.

Ed1937

I posted about this before. Our dog was in the house, but my wife wanted me to get the other (doesn't exist) dog in the house. I told her the only dog we had was Gracie. She asked me if I was sure. I told her I was because if another dog comes in the house, she will fight with it. She said "Well...that bitch!".

M1

My partner usually is very effusive about what a nice dinner I've fixed and thanks me for it. Repeatedly.  Friday night was baked pork chops with tomatoes, onions, and okra from our garden. But last night I didn't cook because I was mowing all day, so I thought we'd just have microwaved dinners. She told me she was hungry because she hadn't had a decent meal in weeks !!!

Ed1937

This didn't come from my wife, but from a neighbor who just turned 90 years of age. I was talking to him one day, and somehow the conversation turned to nursing homes. He had spent a short time in rehab after a hospital procedure, and he wanted to talk about it. He said "You know, nursing homes are not only for old people. There was a young woman there who was both blind and deaf. I felt so sorry for her. She was nothing but a kid. Couldn't have been a day over 65".

Newbernian

Thank you for sharing all these funny stories.  They are funny because they show the caretaker or the loved one had the willingness to be open to having a sense of humor and sharing it with us.  

I always believed a sense of humor to be a sign of intelligence.  This is one of the better sides of the human condition, which we all share in.

Keep on smiling!

RanchersWife

Me - “Ah-choo” (real sneeze) 

LO - “What did you say?”

Me - “I said ah-choo!”

LO - Looked at me like I was crazy. 

60 falcon

More than once, my wife told me how Ernest T. Bass wanted to marry her.  (He's a character from the Andy Griffith Show.  She also seems to get a chuckle when she tells me about the time she "threw me over her shoulder and into a creek". This morning when I found a smelly present in her Depends, she said " Well, I didn't ask for it.".

June45

Falcon, hope Ernest T. Bass doesn't throw rocks at your windows trying to win over your wife!

French

He uses more and more his ready expression as :

-There is a whale under the gravel (when he suspects a lie)

- He doesn't have light on every floor (about somebody he thinks he is not smart)

newbloomer

Last nite hubby was ready to go to bed. He took off his t shirt and headed toward the family room.  My daughter said, Dad you're going the wrong way. He looked at us as if we were crazy and said, Well did you move it?. We cracked up.

Lynne D

“You look bigger with my new head.”

LadyTexan

Today we were on the Veranda watching the birds. DH got up to go inside but instead of heading towards the door, he started walking around the house. I asked, "where are you going?". DH stated "I'm going to circle back".

ps - he watches a lot of White House Press Briefings.

Ed1937

I decided to put some music on from youtube. They have the top songs for each month for the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. During the 70s, one song came on that interested her. She asked "Who is that?". I said "Helen Ready." "I am woman". She looked at me and asked "You are?"

Joe C.

Yesterday I was taking a nap while our caregiver was here. The caregiver asked DW, “do you want to go lay down in bed with Joe”, DW replied, “I’m not that kind of girl”.

abc123

Lynne and Joe C, y’all had me rolling on the floor!

Thanks!

Elshack

My DH who has moderate dementia still is able to play video poker on the computer. He had brain surgery 3 yrs ago after brain bleeds and 24 staples put in his head. We moved out of our house 3 yrs ago to an independent living apartment which also has Assisted living and memory care in the nearby bldg.

In all seriousness, after playing the games, he asked me " Does this place have a casino? " It was one of those funny but sad moments for me. For many years we went to Las Vegas and also on several cruises where we enjoyed the casino. 

LadyTexan

Two things that fall into the not funny, but I laugh (to myself) so that I do not cry:

1. I took DH to the toilet. He claims he finished. I wipe his hiney. DH asks: Did I have a bowel movement?
2. DH can no longer light his cigarettes so he brings me the cigarette and the lighter. He usually walks over to me with the cigarette in his mouth and the lighter in his hand. When he walked over this morning, he had the cigarette in his mouth like a dog carries a bone (not like a person smokes a cigarette). Please don't chime in on how his smoking days should be over. I am not ready for that agitation hurricane yet.

Our bedroom is four steps lower than the rest of the house. Whenever DH is about to go down the steps, my auto-nag voice comes on and I remind him to take one step at a time. My husband is still quite the jokester and loves to break the rules. After the auto-nag, DH got a glimmer in his eye and ran in place as if he were getting a running head start, to dive off the top of the steps. Seeing the glimmer in his eye is so precious and so rare.

Davegrant

The other day my DW and I were going out for dinner and it was a cool afternoon and I suggested she wear a jacket, of course she came out to the car without one. (DW often does the opposite of my suggestions.) I on the other hand I put on my light nylon jacket. When we started the drive she was cold so I asked her if she wanted to wear my jacket, she said "no" so I put on the car heater which she appreciated.  We arrived at the restaurant and after we were seated we realized that the air conditioning was on in the restaurant , I again asked her if she wanted to wear my jacket. This time she agreed. After several minutes she said, "Aren't you cold"? I admitted that I was and she said, "You should have worn a jacket. " The short term memory is nearly gone.

LadyTexan

DH has apraxia. Getting him into bed at night has gotten increasingly difficult. DH wants to lay diagonally across the bed. I turn down the covers on his side of the bed. He usually sits on the bed. I instructed him to put his feet on the bed. DH starts looking around. Then he asks me "where are my feet". I laugh inside and cry inside at the same time.

LadyTexan

DH has been having vivid dreams recently. This morning I asked him if he had any dreams last night. DH replied "I don't know. I was asleep."

toolbeltexpert

Sure wish I could remember a funny my dw has said but I am drawing a blank. But you all made my day.

Crushed

DW wore "patio dresses"  (similar to the picture )  They could be worn over nothing if that was her choice.  So one day we were going to have lunch on the patio. She decides to go get underwear.  She  comes out later and no underwear.  I asked "I thought you were getting underwear"  She said "I looked in the  dresser and I couldn't find any".  So when I went upstairs  I found the contents of my dresser on the floor.  After that I always left underwear for her on the bed.  


 

JJAz

DH came to me with a very serious face one day and reported, "I'm sorry to tell you, but I've been murdered."  After that, no more murder mysteries on TV at our house.

billS

Last Tuesday I placed my wife into memory care. I had primed the staff to expect that she would not know the real reason she was going there. When we arrived the manager greeted her with a big smile and a hug and said, "Thank you for letting us take care of you!" Fern replied, "Oh it's my pleasure."