the dreaded hospice bed

EJ97

Well the day has come. Mom is no longer in her queen bed from home, the bed she has had for a very long time. She is now in a hospice twin size bed with an adjustable air mattress. In all the transitions I have faced on this dementia road, this has been one of the hardest. And, the first time I have cried in front of Mom in years. She has been in a group home for a little over three years. She gets good care and it is a nice, homey environment. Mom is still somewhat verbal and is pretty happy and still has her wit some of the time. She is 91 and has been in a wheelchair for almost two years and is dependent on aides for showering, dressing, and often eating. She does not talk as much and says things that I have no idea where they came from. Sometimes, she calls me one of my sister's names. I have been able to accept those changes, but seeing her in that bed just did me in!  I guess the bed symbolized home for me. Mom and home and something a little normal. I know logically it makes sense for her to be in the hospice bed, and maybe it doesn't even bother her, which actually makes me sad to think she may not even be aware that it's different; who knows.  Oh good heavens, I just really miss her.

abc123

I'm sorry you are a having a hard time with this transition. My mom was switched to a hospice twin bed about 3/4 weeks ago. She has never commented about it. I don't think she really noticed the new bed at all.

quartlow2

I understand the emotional reaction to certain changes. Some things just hit hard and reinforce what's happening. It's hard. I put a headboard at the head of my parents beds and the pillows (sort of) hid the headboard of the hospital bed. I just wedged it between the wall and bed.

EJ97

Thank you both for the kind, supportive words. I am much better today. It was just a another sad milestone, another loss.  I really believe those of us here are strong. We have decided to confront this disease and not run from it.  There must be some great lesson in all this.