VENT: I gave DH the benefit of the doubt and then I got to clean up poop

LadyTexan

This morning DH was heading to the water closet. I was walking right behind him eager to help. DH shut the door and said "I can do this". So I stepped back and gave him his privacy.

After a minute or two I concluded it was not going well, but respected his privacy. He comes out of the bathroom a little later looking very unhappy. He then says "you need to clean the bathroom". ARGH.

I know better than to have expectations. I know better than to think a BM will hit the target (in the toilet). I was super annoyed. (at myself) because I trusted what DH said.  Then I became sad, because at the time I am sure he believed he was capable of toileting on his own.

On a more positive note - I am getting pretty darn good at cleaning up poop.

June45

LT, you are a saint!!!  My reactions to "accidents" depend on the time of day.  In the middle of the night, I am Mr. Hyde.

DrinaJGB

June45--Copy that.

Beachfan

Lady Texan, 

You are indeed a saint!  I have found that the very few times I gave DH “the benefit of the doubt”, there were repercussions.  Not as serious as those at your house, but enough to make me angry for even doubting my better judgement.  I find myself dragging him to the toilet whether he seems to need to go or not.  “Just in case”.  When he doesn’t need to go, he resists sitting on the toilet and a la June, Mr. Hyde appears.  Recently Mr. Hyde became really annoyed and pushed DH onto the toilet.  It wasn’t pretty and DH still didn’t go!  When it comes to the bathroom, timing is everything.  Hang in there! 

LadyTexan

I am certainly NO saint. I do question my decision making skills when it comes to DH.

DH has been telling me how much he wants to go to the grocery store. The store went through a major remodel and the topic came up at the small shindig celebrating my mom's birthday. DH brought it up time after time. DH wouldn't let it rest. I gave in and agreed to take him to the grocery store. Together we created a SHORT grocery list. We went to the store early in the day to avoid the crowd. 

Just getting DH into the car, is an event. Getting his mask on is an extra step. He shuffles very slowly now, so getting him from the car into the store takes patience. Once in the store, I had him push the cart so he had something to hold on to. He didn't push it very well, but that is par for the course at this grocery store. I was kindly directive and the other patrons gave us a wide birth. DH was like a toddler, picking up extra candy and snacks along the way. What could have been a 20 minute trip, turned into an hour long event.

On the way home I asked DH what he liked about going to the grocery store. He said "there is food there". I grumbled on the inside because we are not short on food at home.

DH enjoyed the outing. I had a tremendous opportunity to practice patience. Although this grocery store outing doesn't qualify me for sainthood, I am awarding myself an imaginary caregiving trophy.

Ed1937

Lady, you deserve the trophy, for sure. I can relate to giving the benefit of doubt. It seems there is always a price to pay. There must be a better way to sharpen our skills.

David J

No poop stories today. However, this morning while I was having my coffee while DW slept, our usual morning routine, I heard what sounded like water being poured out onto the floor. Knowing exactly what I was hearing, I went to bedroom to find my wife holding her nightgown up while she peed on the carpet. I waited while she finished, then got her in the shower. It’s gotten to the point where I accept p-ss and poop all over our bedroom and do my best to clean and de-stink. It’s what we do.

Gig Harbor

Have you considered pulling up the carpet and painting the subfloor. We rented a beach house and they had done that. Definitely easy to clean.