New Here!(5)

kmasenact

I just wanted to say hi! I'm new here but not new to Alzheimer's care by any stretch of the word. When I was 8 years old, my grandmother got her Alzheimer's diagnosis. In that moment, I went from being a granddaughter to a caretaker.

Years later, after she died, I went to college and got my Associates degree in Education as well as my BA in Social Work. I got placed in an internship working with seniors, primarily in Memory Care. I loved it so much, I became an Activity Director (I got my Activity Director's Certificate/ADC in 2019) and have worked in all 3 levels of care for seniors. In addition, I got my American Sign Language certificate and I became a Dementia Practitioner. 

In my current facility, I'm the Assistant Director of Activities as well as the Dementia Trainer. 

If anyone has any questions or if I can help in any way, please let me know. I'm not a nurse, so I can't answer any nursing questions.

I know how scary Alzheimer's can be, but please know you're not alone. I've been there and I can help!

Iris L.

Welcome kmasenact.  I am glad to see an intelligent, educated person have a career in helping people with dementia.  You probably know a lot, but there is a lot more you can learn from the members here.

Iris L.

slippednfell

Welcome Kmasenact! 

I'm pretty new here myself.  I am just starting on this journey and so far I have gathered lots of wonderful information from these boards.

katemahercsu

Hello kmasenact!  I too am a "newbie" on here and in one day have already had wonderful replies and responses that have been very helpful to me from others on here.  

We are just coming into the journey with my mother - that's how I describe it as she's been in decline for a while, but my parents have been really adept at covering it.  So trying to know where to begin to help has been a little overwhelming.  

Folks on here have been wonderful!

Srwill175

Thank you for being here! That's awesome. I'm new here and new to ALZ. I could write a BOOK full of questions to ask you! I'm struggling to answer moms questions. I know I can't reason with her..that has not worked. I need to understand more about what the ALZ thought process is like and maybe that will help me to know how to respond to her better. I would like to know how SHE sees things. I know there's an anxiety component with her that contributes too. I appreciate any insight you can give. Again thank you!

kmasen_act2

Ok so I'm having trouble logging into my other account, so I created a new one.

To answer your question, yes, sometimes reasoning doesn't work, especially with advanced ALZ.  It's important to remember that it's the disease talking, not your loved one.  They don't understand that there's anything wrong with them.  It sounds like your mother's questions are more repetitive, and if that's the case, it's because she's lost the ability to remember that she already asked you something.  If you've ever seen the movie "50 First Dates", Lucy and "Ten Second Tom" are prime examples, although neither one have ALZ.

In Lucy's case in the movie, she lost her short-term memory due to a terrible car crash.  Everything up until the night before the crash, she remembers.  She can't retain any new information.  

"Ten Second Tom", on the other hand, lost his short-term memory due to a hunting accident, which caused his memory to only last 10 seconds.

Like the ALZ patients we work with, the characters in the movie don't remember that they already asked the same question.  To them, every time they ask the question, it's their first time asking the question.  To us, it gets annoying because we already answered that question what seems like 5,000 times in the last 10 min.  That's what I call "The Disease Talking".  It's not that your loved one is trying to be annoying, it's that they can't remember asking you that question.

As the disease progresses, the synapses in our brain begin to deteriorate, which means we slowly lose the ability to connect to various parts of our brains.  That's what causes the repetitive questions.  

If that isn't the case, we need to step into their reality.  Many times ALZ patients will go through the same routines everyday, and therefore express the same narratives everyday.  We need to be able to pause and listen to their narrative without judgement.  Most of the time, the answer to how we need to respond to their situation is within the narrative itself.  For example, I've had residents I've worked with in the past start asking to go home around 3PM.  One day, I stopped to think about why.  As it turns out, many of the residents had children, and would often say "Oh I need to pick up my kids!" Well, what time does school get out usually...3PM!  So I would say something like "Your husband is picking up the kids from school today, why don't you tell me about them" and then switch the conversation to something else when appropriate.  By doing that, I'm reassuring them that the kids are ok and I'm providing a distraction to whatever is causing their anxiety.

As far as understanding what your mom is going through, I went to a training several years ago called "The Virtual Dementia Tour" which is a hands-on experience about what it's like to have Dementia.  They placed bean bags in our shoes (to simulate balance issues), gloves on our hands (for sensory deprivation), made us don double vision goggles (for vision issues), and had us put on noise-inducing headphones (to simulate distracting places).  Then they gave us a simple task to try and complete (what it was, I still have no clue!).  Suffice to say I failed miserably, but it was an eye-opening experience!

Michael Ellenbogen

Boy is your experience  needed here as AA does nothing to help these folks and it is scary of all the things I read. The need big help.