New to Alzconnected

Joan Edna

Hi all! My name is Julie. I’ve just started my journey with my Mom, although I believe she’s been struggling with Alzheimer’s since May, 2018. She’s been hiding it for a long while and can’t anymore. She’s declining fast. There’s no denying it now. I’m very scared and looking for help. If I know what to expect, I do better. I’m so glad to have found this group.

Ginsamae

Hello Julie and welcome to the party no one wants to attend.

Until recently DH and I cared for his mother (my MIL) in our home. We had to back out not long ago and MIL is now living with DH's oldest sibling in another state - but they aren't handling it well (neither MIL nor sibling) so I'm not sure how long that will last. We cared for her from April 2019 until this past July; I think she's Stage 5 but she doesn't have a formal diagnosis of anything. 

I've found comfort, insight, the occasional kick in the rear, and laughter on this forum. The people on it all understand what you're going through and most will give helpful advice or comforting words.

Cynbar

Hi, Julie, and welcome. You will find a ton of advice, information and support here. Sometimes it can sound a little harsh, but it is always well-intentioned . Read as many threads as you can, you'll pick up ideas and file away knowledge for the future. Just one word of caution: not everything you read will happen to your mom. Anyway, as you move forward, the first piece of advice is always to get her legal and financial affairs in order. If you haven't already, take her to a certified elder law attorney to get her will, durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney taken care of. Then, start work on her finances. She is going to need more help before too long, and many people with dementia eventually need placement. Does she have funds for that, or will she need to apply for Medicaid? It may seem early to start thinking about these things, but it really isn't. You always have to be one step ahead in the dementia journey so you're prepared if a crisis hits.

Teachertee

Julie,

Wishing you the best as you take this journey.  I appreciate the advice CYNBAR gave-not every person with dementia experiences the same things.  It's hard, but coming here to read other people's advice and suggestions has been helpful!  I also joined a support group on Facebook and found Teepa Snow's videos and website to be helpful.  So sorry your family is dealing with this as well. Hugs to you!

Justiceblack89

Hi Everyone,

My name is AM and I have been taking care of my mom for the past 4-5 years. It has been a very challenging and exhausting journey but I try my best to care for her. Although she was only diagnosed last year, she had been exhibiting symptoms for a while. My mom is a pretty young to have Alzheimers (60s) and I am pretty young (early 30s) to be a caregiver, so I’ve been told…

I am looking to connect with people who are going through the same things that I am. I need more support! 

Glad I found this group!

wyoming daughter

Welcome Julie - I don't know where I'd be without this forum, Teepa Snow videos, the book "36 hour day" and the article Understanding The Dementia Experience to name a few helpful resources...read as much as you can, stay ahead of the game, always have a plan B, and C...and like Cynbar said, take care of the paperwork first.  Take care.

VeeM

Hello

I am new here too. Been helping take care of mom for the past 7 years and lately it’s been extremely challenging and I feel lost which is why I decided to join this group. My mom’s Alzheimer’s has definitely progressed and now requires someone with her at all times. Not only that but also to be kept calm and ‘entertained’ to keep her calm. Although my goal was always to care for her at home I’m starting to wonder if that is what’s best. Working all day to keep her calm it’s not living (I am also in my 30s) so i am currently trying to figure out what I would be ok with. This is a great place to get insight and ideas or just to vent. 

bbw

Hi, my Mom's partner of 40 years (and caregiver for 3) was suddenly unable to care for her any longer 3 weeks ago and has moved out of their shared home and I have moved in with my Mom as a result of this until I figure out what to do permanently.

Mom was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago with Alz, but it is mild to medium I think. She hasn't lived alone in 40 years and is grieving the loss of her partner. This is so hard because her partner is angry and won't talk to her at this point. I think eventually this will change and hopefully Mom will get some closure.

She is constantly giving me good reasons, but how do I handle her questions? She wants me to go back to my home 4 hours away and leave her here in this condo. She keeps saying there are plenty of people older than her that live alone here and still drive. Although she takes care of herself fairly well she cannot cook and doesn't remember to take her medicine. And after 40 years I don't think it is possible that she could live alone. How do I handle her questions? She gets that I just keep putting her off.

Thanks for any advice. 

MrsJudyB

Hi Julie, I’m Judy and I’m new here too. Starting on this journey with my husband and scared of what the future holds. Came here to listen and learn and look for support.

Tacoma TR

Hello, I'm Tony,

I just joined to hopefully get tips from more experienced Caregivers. My 80yo Mother is diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and it seems to be advancing quickly. I'm days away from selecting a Memory Care facility for her mostly for safety (wandering) reasons. 

I'm hoping to learn more about resources available to her via the Feds/Military as she's the widow of a career Air Force Veteran. Best wishes to all the Caregivers out there.

kmasen_act2

Hi all!

I'm a Dementia Practitioner who became a caregiver when I was just 8 years old...my grandmother had ALZ. She's passed away now, and I'm willing to help where I can. I even designed my own Dementia training course to give weekly at work.

abc123

Attention Julie, AM, Mrs Judy B and TacomaTR, welcome to the forum. I noticed you are all new members and this was your first post. If you each start a new thread, you will get more replies. This is a good group and you can ask any questions you may have. I’m sorry you have to be here but very glad you found us. There is soooo much to learn. Read as much as you possibly can every day. I wish you all good luck on this difficult journey.

abc123

Hi Joan Edna/Julie, I read your profile. You mentioned your mom was found 12 hours away. That must have been incredibly stressful. Is your mom an exit seeker? Is she constantly trying to leave the house? You also mentioned she refuses to move out of her house. Please try to remember that your mom has brain damage now, her brain no longer works properly. You and your sister can no longer let her make decisions. She is not capable. You must be the parent now. You have a long, hard road ahead of you. I’m so sorry you have to be here.