Are you married?

aod326

How do you answer that question? My DH died in April, and most people I know also knew him, so I hadn't often been asked. Now that people are coming back into the office, post-COVID, I'm meeting some new hires, and this morning I met a new neighbor; people ask "Are you married?"

I don't want to say I'm widowed, because, as far as I'm concerned, I'm still married. (Also I think it can make people feel awkward, especially as I'm on the younger side.) What do you say?

elainechem

My hubby died in February of last year. I'm 62. He would be 67 if he were still alive. If anyone asks, I just shake my head and say I'm a widow. I don't get asked that question very often because I rarely meet new people. Honestly, I haven't felt married in a long time. His personality changed dramatically very early in the disease. I miss the man that I married, not that poor creature who died last year.

Garybock

My wife of 41 years died July 2020.  I put both of our wedding rings on my key chain.  When someone asks if I am married I reply directly, "no, my wife recently died."  I have to admit I am handling the grief much better these days.  Today when I pass one of the pictures of her around the house I smile and recall a positive memory.  I miss her beyond belief but my being constantly sad is not something either of would want.  I feel grief is simply the flip side of love.  I know she would want me to be as happy as possible.

Mrs. O

Yes Garybock,   Grief is just love with nowhere to go.