Caregiver's Dementia

jojobaggins42

Hello everyone, 

I'm new here and just wanted to say I appreciate that this board exists. I'm in my 40s and my mother with mixed Vascular dementia and Alzheimer's lives with my husband and me. She's level/stage 4. The big plot twist is that two days after she was diagnosed last year in September, she was jaundiced and feeling ill. ER did a CT scan and discovered a tumor on her pancreas. My poor mom had two horrible diagnoses in the same week. My husband and I packed up and moved back to my hometown immediately. Very stressful.

After trying chemo for a bit, she decided that because of the Alz she did not want to treat the cancer anymore. (I wouldn't, either). We moved her in with us in late March 2021 and switched to hospice. She's doing surprisingly well on hospice and it's her memory issues more than the cancer that cause the most frustration. 

I found a couple old threads on this topic, but thought I'd ask current contributors here. Does dementia start to feel contagious to you? 

I find myself having memory lapses and difficulty with keeping my brain on track. I'm hoping it's just a temporary sort of relational forgetfulness that comes from being in a dementia environment so much. But it can be really disconcerting. I lost my dad to bladder cancer 9 months ago, so I'm sure grief is still playing a big role, too. Whew.

Thanks for reading.

Jojo

JJAz

Oh my gosh.  Stress can completely mess up your memory..  I was caring for my 97 year old Dad and my 69 year old husband with Lewy Body Dementia and thought I was losing my mind.  Dad died in October and DH died the following June.  It took me a year after that to regain my memory.

wyoming daughter

Yes indeed.  I feel the same and then I worry if I'm next in line.....but I'm sure it's just temporary because there is so much to take care of besides the grief.  Take care of yourself.

Lindsay22

Yes. I am 43 and caring for my mom who is stage 6 AD. I am constantly scanning myself for symptoms and worrying that forgetting something at the store or at work is a sign.  For me I think it's stress and too many things on my plate.

jojobaggins42

Thank you so much for your replies. This helps me not feel so bad about it. And to know that others have experienced it and gotten back their memory.  That is a huge relief. 

There have been a few times I've forgotten something and mom noticed and actually laughed and said "you're getting as bad as me!" At least we try to keep our humor here. 

I am very lucky that I am able to take a break from working while I've been taking care of mom. I've been afraid of how hard it will be to return to the professional work with my brain feeling like this.

I belong to an online forum for pancreatic cancer caregivers, which has been an amazing group, but I'm the only one dealing with dementia in my loved one at the same time.