Taking Charge

Whyzit

I read this today in “Daily Comforts for Caregivers “ by Pat Samples.

“When I’ve had to take charge of some areas of my loved one’s life, he doesn’t want to let go, even when he can’t manage anymore. He’s used to being in charge. Sometimes I have to be strong and insist.

I can understand why he wants to maintain control, but it is not feasible now. When he resists, I tend to back off, not wanting to hurt his feelings or to argue with him. But then matters don’t get handled that need handling. Problems mount and I worry. I know he’ll never be able to take care of these matters himself and eventually I’ll have to do them. I’ll also have to clean up all the problems that happen in the meantime. As hard as it might be, if it’s time I take charge, it’s time. I will set the limits and tell him so. I can ask friends or professionals for encouragement and support, but I will be the one to do it. If I don’t, the long term cost is too high. He might be upset at first, but I trust that he will adjust in time.

I take charge of what I need to take charge of.”

Stuck in the middle

That is very good.  Thank you.

Ed1937

As hard as it might be to do, that was excellent.

Beachfan

Whyzit,

I can totally relate to that passage.  There was a time I worried about DH losing his independence or enabling him in many areas. No more.  I find it so much easier and more sensible, to me, to step in and take charge, consequences be damned.  We follow a routine, my routine, and like it or not, he complies.  I realize it could all go south in a New York minute and he could punch my lights out, but for now it’s working.  Right now, I need to excuse myself.  It’s shower time; gotta’ stick to that schedule.   (I think it’s harder on me than him.) Good luck all!