Brand New to the Dementia World

Sukorn

Hello everyone,

My siblings and I are very new to this.  Our father is 92 and just in the last two weeks, he started showing signs of severe dementia.  We saw some memory loss of course but nothing like what we are seeing now.  I live pretty far away from him and last saw him in May.  I was impressed and proud that he was doing so well at his age. He is currently in the hospital due to the fear that he would hurt himself yesterday.  He is being evaluated and having tests run.  The psychiatrist told my siblings today that he has dementia and is delusional. We are completely shocked at the behaviors he is displaying and the things he says to us.  We know that he certainly doesn't mean anything by what he says and cannot control himself but, WOW!  I'm sure that most folks on her can feel my pain.  I have read a lot of great advice on this board and it feels comforting to know that we are not alone.

Thank you for listening

M1

Glad he is getting help.  But sounds like you may need to make a lot of decisions fast.  Unlikely to be able to go back to where he was, in all probability.  Good luck.

MN Chickadee

It's possible UTI or other infection is exacerbating dementia. It wouldn't be unheard of in the elderly.  If so treating the infection may help. It's good to have a full work up that looks for infection, deficiencies, tumors etc. Otherwise it is likely just a drop off that can happen. Sometimes our PWD have long plateaus of stability and a sudden decline. If there is no underlying physical issue, then a stay at a geriatric psych inpatient setting may be in order. There the geriatric psychiatrist and nursing staff trained in dementia will work on a diagnosis of the particular type of dementia and finding the right medications and getting a person stable enough to be discharged to a long term care facility like memory care. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. It's so unfair.

jfkoc

Please go to an Urgent care for a UTI. Yes, one could be the cause. They can be deadly but are treatable.

Sukorn

Thanks for the replies.  Negative for a UTI, kidney issues, dehydration.  Our mom had a UTI at one time and she was delirious so we were hoping Dad had the same.  He was diagnosed today w/ delirium but we are still unsure if he also has dementia.  They are primarily focusing on getting the delirium under control.  We are certainly aware that he more than likely won't go back to his home unless he improves immensely.  Thanks again for the replies.

Palmetto Peg

Since your dad is in the hospital, be sure to check that none of his medications have been stopped or changed.  Every time my mom was hospitalized, the meds would be either delivered late or not at all.  My mom took Ativan for years, and during one hospitalization, a young resident decided that she shouldn't need that much and cut her dose in half.  When I went to visit her, she was eating tissues and trying to get out of bed to speak to the manager of the "hotel".  I checked with the nursing staff and when I found out about the Ativan, I absolutely lost it.  As soon as they brought it to her in the proper dose, she calmed right down.  Another time someone decided that all older women needed Fosamax every Sunday, even though it was listed on her chart as something she shouldn't take.  She was vomiting all day!  

Hospitalization in the elderly almost always causes delirium so you may see him getting worse due to that as well.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  It hurts to see them in such a bad way, and if he is saying mean things that hurts too, even though you know it isn't really him speaking.  Try to relax and share the load with your siblings.  Post here, too - the  people on this board are incredibly kind and giving with support and suggestions!  Good luck

RIM

My father at 92 experienced rapid memory loss, had audio and visual hallucinations, could barely converse.  Right away his doctor(s) dx him with dementia, the neurologist after one visit dx him with alz.   Turned out severe sleep apnea caused the dementia like cognition loss.  It’s three years later and he’s very good. 

My father, as in your reference, gets hospital delirium.  Numerous medications have caused memory loss and confusion, as has OTC night time cough medicine, as well as an up dose of melatonin.

Simply because my father is in his 90’s, doctors never looked for potential causes.  And that surprised me. 

robinja

It is certainly possible that the majority of your dad’s current problem is hospital delirium. My dad suffered from this several times while being perfectly fine out of the hospital. It is a very strange phenomenon, and although the hospital in my hometown has a great reputation it is like they have never heard of it. They tried to talk us into a DNR last fall when my dad was admitted with a heart problem. In a way, I can’t blame them because he was talking utter nonsense.  He was 87 and doing pretty well mentally.  My mother-in-law has experienced hospital delirium also, and she is probably sharper than my dad. My dad seemed to snap out of it after a couple of days at home. I hope you get some answers and things aren’t as bad as they seem.

tracy224

Hi Sukorn.  Just wanted to add that my dad suffered from anesthesia/hospital induced psychosis, a UTI and has had several TIA's.  Each time he experienced one of these things, his dementia seemed to get a little worse.  His last UTI and subsequent hospital/rehab stays have been the worst as far as the progression of his dementia symptoms.

I hope you have found some answers for your dad.

harshedbuzz

Sukorn-

Welcome. I am glad you found us, but sorry for the need to be here.

Given the memory loss you reported as pre-existing, this is likely dementia. It sounds as if he was admitted for a geriatric psych evaluation because he was a risk to himself. I hope this results in a good care plan, perhaps with medication to relieve him of delusions and hallucinations that are upsetting him. While I would expect a temporary uptick in behaviors while hospitalized, it sounds as if he wasn't well at home either.

It's never easy to be told a LO has dementia. But I think it can be harder, IME, to accept this in a family member who has always been independent and feisty well into their 90s. I had two friends experience this with their moms who had both been long term widows and wildly capable individuals. They both seemed so used to their moms being reliably competent that their minds were blown when they no longer were despite increasing odds of dementia with advanced age. 

HB

bozowing

Welcome you've come to the right place.  I can personally vouch for these wonderful folks on this forum.  And the biggie, we totally understand your plight and journey.  You'll find many so called friends and family aren't very good in the empathy department.

But again welcome and we got your back and make sure your sibling joins and participates too.