apathy about the future

Battlebuddy

I just wanted to say thank you to Jeff86 for posting about putting a little distance between you and AD . I think that is what I am starting to do. I want to take back little bits and chunks of my life. As my husband gets sicker and sleeps more, there is more me time. I  think that is going to be my theme for this fiscal year, and your post helped me to frame it in my mind so thanks .

Jeff86

Battle buddy—one of the treasures of this forum is to learn how other caregivers wrestle with issues each of us faces.  Sometimes, we need a reset from how we have been seeing a situation. 

For the first few years after dx, all I could see was being a caregiver.

I’ll try to post, shortly, about how I arrived at a further reset recently.

DrinaJGB

I daydream about future plans all the time. For the past decade or more life has beaten the crap out of me.I only hope I get a chance to live again before dying.That thought keeps me hanging on just one more day..........

Joe C.

Jeff, Once again it seams like we are on a parallel path. I took up playing Pickleball for the same reasons you stated and play a few times a week now. In a couple of weeks I am going on an 8 day wilderness adventure (more on that in a future post). If your looking for a travel buddy for Tanzania let me know, that would be right up my alley.

Rescue mom

Thank you Jeff. I was barely 60 when DH, who is notably older, started getting bad. I thought I had 10-15 years ahead. That was almost 5 years ago. I used to think I needed to stay healthy so I could have a life when his body was gone. (He himself was long gone). 

Then I had my own health issues, and I started thinking he will outlive me, and what’s the point, other than being a caregiver and kids can do that, he won’t know the difference.Maybe I should try again. Right now I have no good future, given his condition (physically good but nothing there mentally) and my age. I may be alive, but will I be able to do anything? All I can expect now is being a caregiver for someone with little mental function who barely knows I exist.

Jeff86

Joe C. wrote:

Jeff, Once again it seams like we are on a parallel path. I took up playing Pickleball for the same reasons you stated and play a few times a week now. In a couple of weeks I am going on an 8 day wilderness adventure (more on that in a future post). If your looking for a travel buddy for Tanzania let me know, that would be right up my alley.

Joe,  That might, could work!  Let’s talk off line, if you’re serious!  Jeff

Lynne D

Oh RobertsBrown, I have only two things to add: Ditto and thanks for posting.

The one thing I havent’t given up on is being impoverished and letting go of every penny I worked for since I was 15. You’ve gotta have something that keeps you going when all else is fruitless and unfulfilling and defeating and depressing and maddening and heartbreaking and frustrating…