Moved mom to MC yesterday

Lindsay22

Yesterday was the big day and it went OK.  Following the advice of many here I said not one word to her about the move before hand (which killed me and felt SO disrespectful but I knew it would only agitate and then she'd forget).  My husband went and picked her up and took her to breakfast while I went into her apartment and packed up the last minute stuff.  I was able to sneak some clothes out the day before so those were all freshly washed and ready to go in the car along with new coloring supplies (her favorite activity) and some other essentials. Then I went to the MC to set up.  The staff were SO kind to me and knew I was really nervous but talking to them more helped me feel better.  The housekeeper and handy man even stopped by the room to introduce themselves and ask if anything else was needed, tell me I can swap out furniture later on etc.  Then mom and my husband arrived and I met them in the lobby.  We took her straight to the room, of course with lots and lots and lots of questions.  We purposefully timed it to be just before lunch so the director came, introduced herself and some of the other staff and then whisked her off to a table for lunch.  Other than mom saying "should I go with her?" and asking me "am I ok?" (which was hard) she went along with it.  Spoke to the director last night and this morning.  She's doing OK, asking when she's going home and trying the locked security doors but the director says that's to be expected.  They said she slept the night through so that's really good.  They advise that I don't visit for 10 days or so to give her an opportunity to adjust to the routine.  

I also slept last night, for the first time in awhile.  I think the anxiety leading up to this was really getting to me.  Now I just pray that this solution is good for her for awhile and that she adjusts to the new environment. 

dayn2nite2

I can already tell you’ve picked a wonderful place for her.  One of the first people I met when I placed my mom was the person who would be cleaning her room.  She became a special person to my mom and was one of the people who came to tell her goodbye on the day she died.  

I think she’s in good hands.  You’re going to get to know much of the staff, residents and even some of the other families.  

Emily 123

Thanks for the update--it's never easy.  I'm glad that your mom's move went well!

MN Chickadee

It sounds like it went very, very well in terms of how these things can go.  I bet in 10 days it will be more clear you made the right decision. It may take even longer for her to totally adjust and stop asking to go home etc but hang in there. Moving my mother was the hardest thing I have ever done but the right thing in the end. The early days when you know they are confused and lost about the transition are so hard, but my mother settled in and has done incredibly well. Once she was over that initial hump she started to really thrive on the routine and structure, and the staff have gotten to know her well. I am so glad you both slept last night, that's so great.

Stuck in the middle

Wish I had a child like you.  Good job.

mommyandme (m&m)

Wow! That is so wonderful to hear.  Thank you for sharing!