Husband sleeping all the time

Redhead520

Hi.. this is my first day on this site.  My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago with Alzheimer’s. I knew something was wrong at least a year before.  He is up in his 80’s and I’m early 70’s. I have been his sole care giver all this time.  Over last 5 months he sleeps most of the time.  Today I gave him lunch in bed. Dinner always in bed because it’s too difficult to get him up.  His bladder is now starting to go.  I feel like I don’t know what to do at times.  He can only walk a few steps and he’s over 6 feet while I’m 5’2”. If he’s awake and sitting in his wheel chair he wants to take a walk……he would kill himself by falling. He has done this already.  Had emergency here twice getting him off the floor.  Just needed to vent and ask about the continual sleeping.  I can’t fight with him over it so I just go along with it.  Thank you all for listening it’s very much appreciated. At my wits end never knowing what’s right or wrong.  Good wishes to all of you caregivers.  All Angels.

Stuck in the middle

Welcome to the group, Redhead.  

I don't know a lot about men in their 80s because my father and grandfather and FIL didn't live that long.  However, I suspect sleeping a lot may be normal for men his age.  My mother slept a lot in her 80s, and my wife is 74 and sleeps 10-12 hours a night.  If he is sleepy, I would let him sleep.  I don't try to wake my wife before noon unless she has to go somewhere.

I wonder if you can get hospice to help with his care.  You will only injure yourself trying to lift him, as you know, and he clearly needs assistance.  You might also consider nursing home placement.  There are some jobs that just need more than one person.

Whyzit

Welcome Redhead520, This is a good place to get suggestions and also vent. My DH sleeps excessively also (stage 5) and after many tests with no results explaining why, his PCP says she just thinks he needs to be “ more engaged”. No kidding, lol. We are both 80 and he just doesn’t want to be “ more engaged “. Sad to say but there comes a time where we caregivers need to accept what we don’t have the power to change. If he is safe and comfortable that is good enough with me. Best wishes

Ed1937

Redhead, welcome to the forum. Sorry you have a need to be here. But this is a good forum, and people here are willing to share their experiences, and offer suggestions. Vent all you want. We understand.

I'm sure you can't put his age as a reason for sleeping so much. I'm 83, and don't sleep much more than I ever did.But I know people with dementia do get to the point where they sleep a lot.  I think you should let his doctor know about him sleeping that much to see what they have to say about it.

June45

Welcome Redhead from one redhead to another,

My husband and I are the same height, 5' 11", and I find it very hard to physically deal with him so I can imagine it must be very difficult, almost impossible for you.  Sleeping a lot is often part of the disease.  Let him sleep and don't worry about it.  If he is sure to fall, it sounds like you need to discourage him from getting out of his wheelchair.  Hopefully others here have ideas of how to discourage that. (And I would like to hear those ideas as well.)

Venting helps; so vent anytime!

Redhead520

Thank you for your comments.  I just got Hospice and their doctor will evaluate him next week.  Life is so unpredictable.

Redhead520

Forgot to say I hope that all your burdens will get easier and I am so happy I finally decided to post a little of our trials and tribulations. Some one said God only sends you what you can handle…..my reply was that I think God got me mixed up with someone else.  I’m smiling so thank you again one and all.

June45

Redhead520 wrote:

Some one said God only sends you what you can handle…..my reply was that I think God got me mixed up with someone else.

Redhead, I will be borrowing that one!

Buggsroo

Hi Redhead,

I’m a redhead too, but now I get blonde streaks. I guess everything goes eventually.

My husband goes to bed around 6pm and then wakes up at eleven and wanders the house. I am grateful when he is sleeping, he is a full time job. However, it sounds like your husband is sleeping a lot. I am glad you are getting him evaluated, he could be in a later stage of the disease. I hope you get info you can use and make plans from there. All the best from another ginger.

ladypeewee

Hello Redhead. My husband is 64 years old he sleeps a lot. He goes to sleep around 1:00 am and sleeps until about 2 or 3 PM he was DX with Alzheimer's in 2014. I just let him sleep The doctor said just let him do what makes him happy. So I leave him alone.

Rescue mom

Hi Redhead.   IME here and real-life groups, sleeping a lot happens a lot with dementia patients—not all, but many, also depending on age and physical issues. My DH is 84, Alzheimer’s Dx maybe 5 years ago although I pretty much knew it was coming. Now probably late stage 6.

He was very active before, many people thought he was much younger, but steadily slowed down as disease progressed. My DH was/is very apathetic, has no interest in doing anything. He sleeps maybe 10 hours at night, a few hours late morning, eats, then a couple more hours before dinner. Then more sleep….

He is most “active” late afternoon and into the evening. I used to fear he was bored, but could not get him to do much at all—except dementia things like rummage through trash, drawers, cabinets etc. He used to sort small objects, and make elaborate paper foldings, but that all ended too.

Docs told me to beware of judging him as “bored” using my standards or his old ones. His mind has changed, what would bore me, he sees differently. And he does not seem unhappy during his waking hours to just sit and pet the dog, or watch the street,  yard or some TV. As long as he’s safe, and calm (or at least not visibly upset) I accept that. Much like WhyZit and Lady Peewee said.

I don’t know what to do about the mobility issues you mention. Mine can walk, but he tires almost immediately and does not push it.  I worry about those future falls. 

PT aides gave me a lot of tips about how to help somebody get up off the floor, but they all involved at least some recognition or cooperation from the person who’s down. That might be helpful for you. Our Medicare covered some PT sessions along those lines.

DrinaJGB

Personally, I feel God has some explaining to do.

Redhead520

Thanks all of you for your kind words and for all the suggestions you have made. Everything helps.  It’s very hard when I see my DH so fragile and so very confused.  He did everything right….healthy diet, active lifestyle.  He never stood still.  He could exhaust you as he never stopped.  Well Alzheimer’s certainly changed everything.