Care for my DH while rehab for me a heart surgery?

Barb4Him2

I really don't know what to do.  within 6 months I will be having a heart valve replacement and will need around the clock care for a few weeks.  My problem is Im the sole care taker for my DH and he needs constant care.  I just talked toa rehab center and asked if there were a short term complete care while Im rehabing.  They told me that medicare will not pay for respite care.  Every member of my family has to work and I don't know what to do.

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Barb

Ed1937

Hi Barb. Welcome to the forum, but sorry you need to be here. If you edit your profile, and let everyone know where you are from, it might help get suggestions for you. Your ages might also be helpful. We have a lot of good people here who are willing to help. Sorry you both have health issues. You certainly need help.

JoseyWales

Hi Barb,

I'm looking into full time care for my DH. While talking to the admissions person, she mentioned a respite stay, and using a Medicaid Waiver to pay for it. I have no idea how that works, if it's specific to my state or what - that was just a few days ago and I haven't researched it. But maybe something like that would work for you?

Cynbar

In my state of Massachusetts, the Frail Elder waiver program offers extra home care services via Medicaid to seniors who have multiple medical issues and are in danger of needing NH care. Basically, it expands the income cutoff for eligible people so they have a better chance of getting community based Medicaid, and thus the extra services. There are still income limits, they are just higher. Respite is one of the included services, although I don't know how much respite it would cover. Call you local senior center/Council on Aging if you want more information, they should have an outreach worker or someone who can tell you more about this and if your state offers it. 

If you can pay privately, or if you could get coverage under that program, respite is an excellent idea. I sent my DH to a 2 week respite in a local memory care when I had hip surgery, and it was a godsend. He did just fine, and I could concentrate on my recovery without tending to him. Getting 24/7 private care into the home is more expensive than respite and can be a real headache to coordinate. Most facilities in my area, from assisted living to memory care to skilled nursing homes, were happy to do respite, although I don't know how many would have done it through Medicaid which doesn't cover assisted living or memory care in my state.

harshedbuzz

Barb-

This is a challenging situation.  

Medicare will not pay for custodial placement or respite needed because a family caregiver is unavailable. Medicaid might if he were eligible for hospice services; you might get 5 days.

If you can't lean on family to step up, perhaps on a rotating basis with each person taking a 24 hour shift, you will have to hire help. If family could cover evenings and nights, you might be able to only need to pay for 8-10 hours each day. 

Respite in a MCF might make the most sense. The cost would likely be less than in a rehab or SNF and if chose wisely, he'd have carers with dementia training and experience. My plan B if mom was unable to care for dad was immediate placement in a SNF (where he'd done rehab previously, they would accept him on the fly) and then placement in the MCF he eventually went to. The former was about $400/day and the latter $7000/month ($230/day). Dad's MCF had a 1 month minimum, but a few places near me will do 2 week stays.

The type of surgery you have will factor into how much time you need help. Newer procedures like TAVR have a relatively quick recovery period after a 3-5 day hospitalization. My mom did TAVR last year and she was in better shape leaving the hospital on day 4 than when I brought her in. It was miraculous. I did stay with her a couple days because she needed to do light walking and felt a little unsteady at first and to deal with the high tech heart monitor she was sent home with. My BIL had old school open heart valve replacement which was a bigger recovery but even he was back to work as an ER doc in 6-8 weeks. I hope you have as good an outcome.

HB

Ed1937

Barb, check out this link. https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Search_Results.aspx  

Stuck in the middle

Barbara, I believe in preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  You and I are the same age, and are living with spouses who couldn't live alone.  From your description in your profile, your LO is more advanced in AD than mine.

I think, in your shoes, I would consider it quite possible that my LO may outlive me.  I would start placement in memory care right away, for his benefit and for yours.  You need to be getting well, not worrying about him.  After you are fully recovered post-surgery, you can always take him home if his condition at that time warrants it.

Stuck in the middle

If you haven't seen a Medicaid lawyer, now is the time.  Your LOs care while you are in hospital and rehab may cost some money, but it doesn't have to break you.