Going to Court

bozowing

Well my Ego Maniac sister had the nerve to file for guardianship for my dementia 93 year old father.  Problem, she now uses my mother, who live at her house, as an excuse she doesn't have time for my dad but once a week and for an hour.

As my dad's primary caregiver I couldn't stand by so I filed too.  So now a court date is set for November.

Has anyone gone thru this, if so, can you share advice and stories what happened at court?

DrinaJGB

When my DH was in the hospital due to a deadly viral attack on his brain--his younger 2 siblings made an amendment to the family trust to take away my DH's inheritance rights and the rights of the oldest sibling--both of whom had been named successor trustees in their parent's trust.

  The trust had become irrevocable due to the death of the first founder (his father)--therefore prohibiting any amendments.This did not stop them, however, and they had the mother's estate attorney help draw up the amendment. The mother was terminally ill and had dementia so was unaware of the machinations going on when they had her resign as trustee and the other 2 siblings took over control.

 When another daughter explained to her what they had done she called her attorney to try to change it back the way she and her deceased husband had wanted it--but the attorney told her there would be no more changes done.

 The 2 siblings were single women with a boatload of debt, so the usurpers promptly started to plunder the assets to themselves and other siblings with the exclusion of their critically ill brother who needed help the most.The trust was to only be used for care of the mother who was the survivor of the trust.They believed their brother would die due to the severity of his brain injury--and wanted his part of his inheritance for themselves.

Upon discovering this atrocity, I was forced to hire an attorney for my DH to right all the wrongs done to him while he was so ill ( 2months ICU; 1month coma on life support). They wanted to obtain guardianship of my DH (we had been married at that time for 30 years)--but every egregious attempt they made had failed.

The worst act they committed was an attempt to block my DH from his dying mother's bedside when she kept asking to see him. Finally after two days I found out which facility his other was in and got him into the car to drive miles in rush hour traffic so her could tell his mother-- to whom he had always been very close--goodbye. We barely made it. He went to his mother and she passed within 10 minutes. The staff told me she had been asking for him for days. That is when I knew I was dealing with evil.

 After the mother passed I sent them a warning---do right by your brother who has been fighting for his life or there will be consequences; you have an opportunity to fix this now and do the right thing by him--otherwise, we are going to be in for a very long and very expensive fight. It's up to you. Silence.

They thought I was bluffing, They underestimated with whom they were dealing. I found the best Super lawyer I could find and filed suit on them for fiduciary breaches, self dealing, fraud, conspiracy, etc.

We are now approaching ten years of litigation--the defendants are on their 4th attorney due to discovery issues---which has vastly delayed progress, but now things are starting to shake out finally.Petitions, motions, hearings, changes in court due to elections, separate suits filed by the other sister they also stole inheritance rights from, etc. have all dragged this out for years and years.

  It has been the most stressful thing I could have ever imagined, but I am not giving up.I will fight to the death for what they did to him.

You have to weigh the issues and then decide what it's worth to you. I was appalled by the ruthless and cruel acts of his opportunistic siblings, and my DH had been through a harrowing ordeal which caused permanent brain damage. My DH essentially had lost nearly everything--and I was not going to stand by and let them do this to him without a fight. And what a fight it has been.

 All I can say to you is--be prepared for anything.

loveskitties

Can you give a few more details to clarify the situation?

Does Mother live with sister and Father live with you?  Are parents legally married?

What is sister's motivation for this action?  Financial gain?  Issues with the care you are giving Father?

Do you have any legal papers such as DPOA for finances and/or medical regarding your Father?

Does your mother have any medical/mental issues or is there a guardianship in place for her?

PickledCondiment

Please contact a certified elderlaw attorney ASAP.  Your issues are multi-pronged and you will be best served by someone who understands the elderlaw arena deep and wide. You will need assistance in planning a strategy for your court date, not something that you want to take on yourself. 

bozowing

My mother lives with my sister and has since April 2021, which is a problem in itself.  She moved my Mom after discharge from hospital with COVID without conferring with me or my dad.  Dad still lives in our old house, too stubborn to leave.  I was the # Trustee on their Trust, Durable POA and Health POA.  But, learned from Adult Protective Services lady a new Trust was done In April 2021, previous trust existed since 2014.  To this day I have not been able to get a copy of the new trust nor does my dad have one either.  My sister is being a b@#$% and told my dad he can't have the original cause its my mom's too.

Yes, I'm sure I've been cleared out of the trust and currently with real estate and investments there sits about $750K.  I'm living a soap opera night mare right now in addition to being my father's primary caregiver.

Cynbar

Yes, please consult an attorney ASAP. You need to know what your options are, what your rights are, and how much this fight is going to cost. Focus on what you want, what is best for your parents, and what you are willing to do (continue to care for your father? care for both parents? pull out if your sister gets guardianship of your dad?) Hard as it is, try to avoid attacks and name calling where your sister is concerned ---- it distracts from the real issues and can make you look small and at a disadvantage. I suspect that control of the money is a big issue here, but know that your sister will probably present herself as devoted daughter who just wants to take care of her parents. You will help yourself most by remaining calm and focused. Good luck, this really is a tough situation.

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jfkoc

Get the correct lawyer!!!  It will bw very interesting to see what is in the new trust.

DrinaJGB

Depending on what state you are in she may have obtained guardianship illegally if you were not notified because in my state all siblings have to give consent for a guardian to be named.

Now regarding the trust laws of a particular state, you may have the right as a beneficiary of a trust to receive a copy of said trust. If a trust is changed a beneficiary typically has to be notified by a meeting of the trust attorney and all beneficiaries of the trust--and all beneficiaries are to receive a copy. I am assuming,however, that perhaps your sister had you removed as a beneficiary.

It has been our experience that one can find unscrupulous attorneys to do things both covertly as well as illegally regarding a trust in place--either from greed or abject ignorance or both.That is the one reason we have been here for a decade.

This is why I suggest you find a reputable trust litigation attorney in your area for an opinion.

When I found out the family trust of my DH had been covertly changed without any notification to us, I contacted an attorney to help who was a former client of my DH. This attorney is very well known here, both as a practicing attorney and professor of law at a prestigious university. He contacted the estate attorney asking for the most recent trust with any changes that have been done to the trust that my DH was both beneficiary as well as named trustee.

  He was given the runaround for 2 days--until the attorney told said estate attorney that she could either hand it over to us, or he could take her to court to obtain it.

  The next day the trust was delivered to us. That is when everything changed and I got a referral from the attorney who helped us get the trust delivered for a hotshot attorney who specializes in trust litigation--a named Super lawyer for many years. It was not cheap by any means.

For what it's worth if your sister realizes you have contacted an attorney she may come down a peg or two and try to cooperate. But if she doesn't you will be in for a very long and expensive fight,and you have to make a decision whether or not to pursue it.

  I have chosen to stay because it is for my DH---if it had been for myself I do not think I would have gone through this for the past decade.It has been a complete nightmare and has cost a fortune.DH has dementia from a brain injury when all this was done to him, so I am in this fight alone with a great attorney, but it has taken a toll on me believe me.

  I once had a doctor of my DH tell me when he heard we had to get an attorney--and I quote-"You have to watch out for these lawyers; they will drain you dry, and the only winners will be the lawyers."

There is a very famous book by Dickens called "Bleak House"--which addresses this dilemma, and was so shocking when it came out that it changed the laws in England. There is another book currently out called "The Family War". Both tell the sordid tales of the the lengths people will go to for greed.  But what is the ultimate cost? Good luck to you..

Wilted Daughter

If the person signing the new "Trust" (Living, Testamentary, Revocable, Irrevocable) lacked capacity or is deemed to have been under undue influence etc. in can be contested. Estate, Probate/Family court attorneys handle these issues. It's a battle...can you talk nice to your sibling and request mediation instead of court? Take the high road, if you can, and use long-term strategies to attempt a win-win for mom/dad. 

Maybe your sister will reconsider court action if she learns the 2021 Trust will be contested and you just want to do what's best for both mom/dad. Think and act in a positive manner. 

Best wishes to your family

bozowing

Thank you everyone for your replies and help.  We have hired a Elder Law lawyer and he did think the changed trust is in question because my Mom one week prior came out of one month fight with COVID and though my dad dementia diagnosis was July 2021, we all know he already had it in April when trust was changed.  So, yes it will be contested too along with my sister's petition for guardianship.

Jjust so sad our family came to this and now we're a soap box story...:o(

DrinaJGB

Best of luck to you. I completely understand what you are going through. Unfortunately, in some families--- opportunity makes a thief.