Dropped wife off at MCF

David J

Well, the deed is done. We were met at the door and ushered in. We went right to the room, and I explained as best I could that I need an operation and that the nice people would take care of her while I was recuperating. She said “ok”, typical response when she doesn’t quite understand. The staff took her into the community room where several resid nts were listening to a pianist. She sat down and listened. A few residents introduced themselves. She almost got up when I looked in, but then settled back down. I was advised to leave at that point. I will be taking more stuff over there later today, but will just drop it off. It will be a few days before she settles in enough for me to visit.

I haven't been sleeping well this week, and tossed and turned until 3:00 this morning. I am exhausted, but adrenalin is running. I am sad things have come to this point, but I know its best for her and for me.  I haven’t broken down yet, but that may happen later. 

For those of you facing this in the future, I have to say it went smoother than expected. I was steeling myself for an emotional scene, but it just didn’t happen. The staff know how to refirect and distract very well. 

Dave

Paris20

Dave, I’m so glad your experience went better than anticipated. That day will come for my husband and me down the road. Friends and family ask me when. I don’t know but I do know it’s not yet. I can still handle my husband’s AD with the help I have but I have a list of facilities that my daughters are investigating. My husband’s anosognosia makes any discussion of Alzheimer’s impossible.

The poignancy of your description reminded me of dropping my kids off at pre-school 50 years ago…the fear, trepidation, guilt at saying good-bye. That’s where the memory shifts. We won’t be coming to pick our LOs up to take them home. We won’t be reveling in their progress and planning their futures. It’s life in reverse, like Seinfeld’s Bizarro World, only there’s nothing funny about it.

BethL

Wishing you well with your surgery, and your wife well in the MCF. Hopefully she will adjust well. When my mom went into Assisted Living, she initially balked; didn't want to go. However, she absolutely reveled in the the activities and outings there. Sadly, when she transferred to SNF, she didn't participate in activities at all - she didn't even attend their church services which had been very important all of her life. This reflected progression of the AD.

Stuck in the middle

David, that is a comfort.  Thank you for sharing.

Ed1937

David, I'm glad it went better than expected. That's a win. Best of luck with your procedure. Check back in and let us know how things are going.

amicrazytoo

I'm sure that the deed was weighing heavily on your shoulders. So glad it went better than anticipated. May you sleep soundly tonight, you did the right thing. Taking care of yourself is critical when you have a LO suffering from this horrid disease. Hoping your surgery goes well and wishing you a speedy recovery.

French

Thank you for sharing Dave. Happy that it went well for her.

I am packing our luggage. It is 9:30 pm and we must be at the airport at 4 am… strange night too.

Joe C.

David, I am glad the transition when smoothly and hope all continues to go well so you can recover from your procedure stress free. Keep us posted.

LadyTexan

I am glad it went smoother than expected. Please focus on your health and well being. I wish you good health and a speedy, successful and pain-free recovery.

Buggsroo

I am glad the experience went better than expected. Now you can focus on your own recovery. I hope your surgery goes well.

loveskitties

Dave,

A tough emotional day I am sure, but now that you have past that milestone concentrate on your on health.

Wishing you the best outcome with your surgery and recovery, and an easy transition for your DW.

Beachfan

Dave,

You’re halfway there!  After the emotional turmoil of dropping off your wife at MC, your surgery will hopefully be a breeze.  Best of luck, take care and stay strong.  It will all work out; the hard part is over.  

Jeff86

David,

I was thinking of you today, knowing what you were doing today—thanks for filling us in.  Really glad to hear that it went better than you (understandably) anticipated.  I hope your DW makes a good adjustment, and that your procedure is a success and you recover fully and quickly.  

M1

Thanks for the update Dave, thinking about you and French too.

Virgil61

Hi - I understand.  Good luck with the next few weeks.  I discovered the mind can be both friend and enemy!