How to get DW to take her meds?

Frank Wesley

My DW has been diagnosed with moderate dementia/Alzheimers. Each evening before bedtime, she does habitually take Donepezil (prescribed for MCI 3 yrs ago by our primary care doc). When we saw her neurologist 5 months ago, he added Memantine during the day. He thought it might help. But she has refused to even try this drug.

I have also discovered that she does not take any of her 3 daytime meds, including CelexA for her very apparent depression. When I ask her about this, she gets very hostile and says it is her business and none of mine. Obviously, she has not accepted me as her caregiver.

I could try to tactfully insist she take her daytime pills, but it would only result in a heated argument. Even if I got her to agree to take those meds, it would be a one-time victory. The battle would have to be refought the next day. And she does not need that kind of agitation.

How can I get her to take her daytime pills and, importantly, do it as habitually as she does the bedtime drug?

Doityourselfer

I place my husband's meds in his food when he is uncooperative but he is in the severe stage of Alzheimer's.  When he is cooperative I place his meds in his mouth.  He hasn't been able to take meds from his hand to his mouth for quite some time.  I tell him it's time to take his "vitamins".  

Joe C.

Frank, I have had to change my approach over for getting DW to take her meds. Early on when she would not take them, I would take out my meds for high blood pressure and cholesterol and her meds and tell her we both needed to takes blood pressure medications. If you try this method just don’t mix up the meds, I did that once. More recently I have been telling her the meds are to prevent us from getting covid. I never state what the medications are actually for, she would never take them if I did.

Ed1937

I use those weekly pill holders. The compartments are marked S-M-T-W-T-F-S. We take our pills together (we each have our own container), and I often complain about taking them. I'll tell her I'll talk to the doctor on our next appointment about discontinuing some of them, but we can't stop without his approval. It's too dangerous. 

If you have someone else who can talk her into taking them, that might work better than you doing it. Maybe a close friend or family member. We have a daughter who can talk her mother into anything, even when I have no chance. Any time I get stuck, whether it's shower time or taking meds, or something else, I'll give her a call, and she does her magic. 

Jeff86

At a certain point, my DW refused to take meds.  Thought they weren’t necessary.

Now, I grind them up and stir them through yogurt or applesauce.  Not all meds should be ground up but many can be safely  handled in this fashion.  Check with the doc, the pharmacist, or on line.

DJnAZ

Frank, your post is exactly what I've been going through with my wife for over 8 months. She was also prescribed Memantine following a diagnosis of MCI earlier this year. She took it as prescribed for about 6 weeks until she read a list of possible side effects and decided one of them applied to her. 

After about 3 weeks on Memantine I could tell a difference, although slight, in her cognitive abilities. She was perkier and didn't stumble over words quite as much. Unfortunately she determined Memantine was causing "severe" constipation and stopped taking it. 

Our primary care spoke to her several times trying to explain to her that prescription meds could help her but must be taken as prescribed. She nodded as if she understood but still refused to take it, always blaming constipation. The primary care prescribed Donepezil thinking she might take it. She did for several weeks and then abruptly stopped it as well. Same reason.

I am out of patience trying to convince her to take her meds. Either she refuses to take it or lies and says she did. At Walmart today she saw Prevagen, grabbed a bottle to show me and said she knew it would help her brain much better than the two prescription meds. 

A bit of irony is that she has been taking another prescription, Myrbetriq,  religiously for 4 months.

JJAz

Since she will follow her Primary Care doc's direction, can you ask him/her to prescribe the new medications?

Frank Wesley

Thanks, everyone, for your comments. Very useful and helpful. I think involving another family member will help along with using a day-by-day pill box.