Vacationing with my mom.

DawnOfANewDay

My mom loves the beach.  We are at the beach and sitting on the patio.  She is sitting in a lounge chair under an umbrella fast asleep.

Not the vacations we used to take, but I'll take it.  She will forget that we were here by the time we travel the two hours home, but I will remember.

She is very relaxed.  Evenings are a bit more challenging because she gets confused about where she is sleeeping and where the bathroom i s located.  I slept in the same bedroom with her and it was fine.

I did bring my adult son with me since she can't be left alone. I was so hesitant to take her away from the familiar, but she seems to be doing fine.  We will stay until she wants to leave or our seven days are up.  She rembers beach vacations from the past.

Lindsay22

I'm so happy for you that it's working out! Seems like you went in with the right attitude and expectations, enjoy your time.

roseability

sounds like it's going really well, i'm happy for you! enjoy.

DawnOfANewDay

It is going shockingly well!  I don't want to jinx myself, but we are enjoying it.  

There have been some little bumps, but nothing major.

We hadn't been anywhere since COVID and this has been a refreshing break from the everyday stuff.  She is content to sit on the balcony and watch the surf or people watch the boardwalk.  

BassetHoundAnn

That's wonderful! I am so glad both of you are enjoying it. I am happy for you guys too.

DawnOfANewDay

Thank you!

It is so nice to have something happy to post about.  Often, I feel like my life is a series of complaints/maladies/struggles so, it feels really good to have these few days.  I know that they may not happen again.

The4thOne

HI DOAND,

I sooooo get why you wanted to share this moment.  

A few weeks ago, a cousin on Dad's side passed and just like every funeral, the 'we need to get back to having reunions again' talk happened.  We actually pulled it off in 2 weeks.  My parents divorced when I was young, but they always made sure we were as close to his side as hers. (he was #7 of 16; she #6 of 6 ; the # of 1st, 2nd and now 3rd cousins is gi-normous!) He had remarried, but Aunt Dot was always Uncle Buddy's wife - her and 2nd his wife got along very well, her kids and grandkids called her Aunt Dot; that is how strong the family love for her is. I HAD to bring her.  Even though her sun-downing could be off the chain, her being there would be worth it.  Also, that weekend my brother was hosting a community barbecue for the homeless in Harrisburg.  I flew from Charlotte to Trenton, NJ, next day we drove to Reading, (Shillington) to the family reunion.  We're hyper-vigilant of her contact, spraying her from neck-down with Lysol clothing sanitizer every hour. It was awesome, nearly 200 people spread socially, but lovingly in the park. She was just Aunt Dot, (1 of 2 remaining matriarchs) Everyone knew of her dementia, she laughed and shared with the kids, and cousins who came to sit for a few, doing their 'wisdom and respect at the feet of the elders moment'.  Her repeating the same thing fell on a different set of ears each time! Me, her and my brother stayed overnight in Reading, then on to Harrisburg, where my brother hosted a barbecue for the homeless community on City Island, along the river.  She loves the water.  She laughed and ate and talked to people.  That weekend was the best!  She may not remember the details and all of the faces, but she remembers having the best time ever seeing so much family the way she remembered. Her CNA's & nurses say they use that memory to deflect her when she gets difficult.  

This weekend, her God-Daughter is getting married.  She has been talking about this for the past year, as it was supposed to be last year, during which time her dementia intensified, culminating with her move to a NH, she did not forget. We had to monitor if it was going to be OK, but I can't not NOT take her.  So, all protocols and precautions and 'just in case' medicinal back up supports, I am flying up to NJ; we'll fly to the ATL. (she's been fine with flying thus far, coming from TTN to CLT; I get her wheel chair service). I got us a suite; she thinks she is on a cruise when we are in a hotel.  So what!  We're going to get mani-pedi's and dress up.  This was how she did things.  I know it is risky, but I'm going for it.  Her God-daughter is so excited that she will be there.  She won't remember names and faces - but she'll remember that she had a great time with family.  Yes, the sun-downing and late night guilty calls still happen, she can still be verbally nasty when she is suspicious of everyone.  She's not Mom, but she is less the 'Mom-ster' she can be. 

I know I went on but all to say, I get it - even though they won't remember, it's opportunities like this that now are so cherished.  Our family is a big gathering kind, and her deterioration made it uncomfortable for some to know what to say or do around her, knowing she could go off at any time.  But now - knowing how bad it can be, having these good moments mean everything - for all of us.  Sharing the comfort of those things that were always pleasures for her - like your mom at the beach, means so much now.  So even when she won't remember any of it, you will.

DawnOfANewDay

That is a wonderful post!!!

I waited until most of the crowds were gone to go to the beach.   I think she really enjoyed it!  We didn't really do a lot, mostly sat on the porch and people watched.  

My mother and her BFF were laughing like school girls.  

My mom won't remember, but I will.