Panic attack? Sundowning? Both?

wizmo

DW age 57 around stage 5 had an incident last week that was new to me.  We had just spent a week visiting her parents.  It was the first time seeing her father age 89 just placed in long term care with combination of physical and cognitive decline.  She has not been told the full extent of his condition but she could see for herself that he is no longer as she remembers.  The trip is a day and a half drive for us and we were at the end of a long day in the car.  Travel itself is stressful for her.  I could tell she was a bit agitated for a while, complaining that I don't let her do any of the driving any longer.  A bit later she suddenly started crying and saying "he left me and I have no place to go" meaning her father, and confused about leaving her childhood home headed for unknown destination.  I had to pull over and reassure her that her father is ok, getting excellent care; and she too is fine, just going back to our home from a visit.  I put on some favorite music and it helped a little but she continued sobbing for another 20-30 minutes.

She has not had typical sundowning problems before, but sometimes in the middle of the night if there are unfamiliar shadows she thinks a stranger is in the room or spiders are invading.  I have to make sure curtains/shades/doors are closed and there is only the steady light of a night light to prevent this.  Yet this incident happened just at dusk on a highway with little to see but passing crop fields and I wonder if that was part of it.

I am guessing this was some kind of panic attack, just have not seen it before.

Stuck in the middle

If my father was dying, and I was in a strange place at sundown, I would feel like crying too.  I wouldn't make too much of it.

My wife is greatly comforted by the simple phrase "I will always take care of you."  

Emily 123

I think that there's only so much in terms of reserves that they (or any of us) have and that sounds like she had a very long day mentally, physically and emotionally.