She Refuses to Take Medicine

DJnAZ

I searched using the term "refuses to take medicine" and found almost 400 posts. I'm sure in other posts there are many comments similar to what I'm experiencing with my wife. Rather than go through each one I'm going to use this space to rant. 

In two years every prescription med she has been prescribed she goes out of her way to find a side effect that justifies not taking it. So far she has stopped taking Amitriptyline, Memantine, Donepezil and several others I can't remember. This week a neuropsychologist noted that she seemed mildly depressed, a common part of dementia, and prescribed two meds, a very low dose antianxiety drug and a 10 mg antidepressant.   

She took the first antidepressant yesterday evening after assuring me and the doctor she would take the meds for one month in order to assess their effectiveness. Her assurance lasted less than 24 hours. 

This morning she found the Walgreen's bag with the pharmacy information containing the long list of possible side effects. After examining the many possibilities she determined the med would cause her eyes to pop out and she would die. She categorically stated she would not take either med. Ever.

Trying logic and reasoning was useless as she continued to list all of the side effects she would get. I gave up. Not, however, before getting very close to my own personal meltdown. 

She is wearing me out and we're barely two years into this journey down hell's highway. After a relatively short time as a caregiver, I'm burned out. Exhausted. Frustrated. Depressed. Disgusted. 

So many of you have been through so much for so long, Thanks for listening to a novice caregiver. It helped me to vent. Tomorrow is, unfortunately, another day.

M1

DJ, sounds like this is indeed a losing battle that perhaps is better not to fight, there is going to be no reasoning with her.  If/when she starts having delusions or hallucinations or sundowning that really is detrimental to her quality of life and yours, then maybe you can revisit this issue.  There are liquid meds that you could slip in drinks, etc.  without her knowing--and maybe that's something worth discussing with her docs if the anxiety is really crippling.  Otherwise, I'd let it go.

JoseyWales

We went down that same road. Every medication he refused to take, or once he'd taken it a few days he was sure he had all the side effects. This was a life-long thing, it didn't just start with his dementia.

There came a point when he no longer knew what he was taking, and I started him on an anti-depressant again. This time there were magically no side effects, other than a small decrease in depression and anxiety. He's now on 2 medications and the occasional antibiotic without any complaint, because he's forgotten he's taken them about a minute later. He has no clue what they're for and doesn't even ask. 

I'm no help for you now, just wanted to tell you that you're not the only one that's dealt with it.

Paris20

My husband has to take several prescriptions and vitamins, am and pm. He balks every single time his aide or I give them to him. I take my meds at the same time, to encourage him, but it’s not working. He has too many meds for pulverizing and hiding in food. I wind up nagging him until he finally gives in. There are times when I want to give up and stop fighting but I haven’t done that…yet.

DJnAZ

I think, and her doctor basically agrees, that for now I may as well give up trying to convince her to take the meds. She still has enough cognitive ability to know if I try to sneak them into her food or beverage. Reasoning and common sense simply don't apply either. 

I'm really not looking forward to the time when she will take them, however, because I have a good idea where she will be in the progression of the disease then. And at that point the meds probably won't have any benefit for her anyway. 

Quilting brings calm

I wouldn’t continue to try to get her to take the memory type medications.  They don’t work for  a good portion of the patients, anyway.  Forego any vitamins etc too. The mood  and actual medical medications are really the only important ones.  The anxiety and anti depression medication may become more necessary and you may need to ask if they come in liquid or sprinkle form.

Gramps

Not sure I can offer advice, but I'm in a similar situation, my wife diagnosed with alzheimers two years ago, ALWAYS complains about her meds, also a range of supplements our doctor has recommended which she tries to avoid taking, also continues to not eat well.  I keep my cool with her, but it upsets me and frustrates me, keep explaining they are for her benefit.  She often repeats that there is no cure for the disease, so why should she bother.

An ongoing battle for us which will likely not improve.

Ed1937

Quilting brings calm wrote:

I wouldn’t continue to try to get her to take the memory type medications.  They don’t work for  a good portion of the patients, anyway.  Forego any vitamins etc too. The mood  and actual medical medications are really the only important ones.  The anxiety and anti depression medication may become more necessary and you may need to ask if they come in liquid or sprinkle form.

I agree. There is one supplement my wife does take. That is TheraCran One because she had recurring UTIs, and it's been close to a year since I started her on it. She hasn't had a UTI since. 

 

abc123

DJ, I’m really sorry you are experiencing this. I truly hate this disease and what it does to all of us. I hope things get better for the both of you.