Extreme Paranoia(1)

Ljw1361

My father was very recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. I’ve suspected that he’s had some sort of dementia for about six months or so now, but things had gotten so much worse in just the past few months. My husband and I live with my parents. We have for the past eight years and I’ve been their primary caretaker. During the past few months, my father has gotten extremely paranoid. He’s started blaming everyone in the house of damaging his things, stealing his things, hiding his stuff from him, etc. For whatever reason, he really fixated on my husband and all of a sudden began blaming him for “vandalizing” his vehicles. He has probably eight or so vehicles, most of which are old clunkers and have been full of dents, scratches, etc. since the day he got them. All of a sudden he believes all of these blemishes on his vehicles are new and that it was my husband that put them there. Things escalated so much that I had to do a 96 hour hold on him because he absolutely refused to believe there might be something wrong with him. He ended up going to a senior behavioral health unit for about ten days, where he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Since he’s been home, things have been good at times, but it still seems like he shows disdain toward my husband. He was started on medicine for his paranoia- risperadol- but I’m not sure if it’s helping because I still see him outside “inspecting” this vehicle or that one for scratches, etc. I am beside myself about what to do. My poor husband is of course completely innocent. This is just so crazy because up until 6 months or so, my father loved my husband and had no qualms with him. I hate to move out because he especially needs us now. Any advice? Thank you!

harshedbuzz

It might take the Risperdal some time to be fully effective. It's possible he needs a higher/additional dose or a different antipsychotic entirely. Keep the prescriber in the loop to see if they think an adjustment is necessary. 

My father was very fixated on similar kinds of things and wall-to-wall angry. Members here and at mom's IRL support group suggested validating his feelings or even apologizing. I thought the validation and sympathy might help and it did take the edge off. I never thought the apology thing would but I tried it anyway. It worked beautifully.

Dad's usual beef with me was that I mishandled the sale of one of his houses- selling it for $350K less than it was worse. I was stupid, I was screwing him over because I never liked the house, I was ignorant, etc. One day when accused- again- I apologized and promised not to sell any more houses "for cheap" and he settled down. 

Might be worth a try.

HB

mommyandme (m&m)

Please, thank you and I’m sorry work wonders.

marisolcastro

I just found this platform and came across your post.  I was in tears reading your story.  My dad is also getting progressively worse with paranoia.  He claims that undercover cops are following him.  He even called 911 a few weeks ago to report that 'there was a car following him parked down the street and that he knows they are undercover cops'.  He is living with my mom and my brother who has cerebral palsy and needs 100% care.  I live right down the street so I am there almost every day.  He refuses to go to a doctor so I don't even know what to do at this point to truly get him diagnosed.  My mom is in no condition to care for both of them.  My husband and I have been getting the house ready to care for my mom and brother.  We just won't be able to care for my mom who is in her late 70's and has rheumatoid arthritis, my brother with cerebral palsy, and now my dad with early signs of dementia.  It is just becoming so overwhelming.  I don't know what I will do if he starts to become aggressive with my mom.  I understand it is not his fault but she is so fragile and so stressed out it may send her over the edge too.  Have you gotten any additional help?   How did you get the 96 hour hold?  Did you call 911 and ask them to do that at the hospital?  Any advice you have on your experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Ljw1361

Marisolcastro,

I’m sorry to hear you can relate to what I’m going through. My situation is so miserable with my father that I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m trying to get him more help, but it’s very difficult because he’s so paranoid and uncooperative and doesn’t trust me anymore. He thinks I’m only out to get him and his stuff. Thank goodness we already had his POA set up years ago or I wouldn’t be able to do a thing with him! He’s been home for about a week now. I was able to get him to go to his hospital follow up appointment with his primary care physician a few days ago but it was a fight. He’s back to blaming my husband and I for doing ridiculous things to this or that or stealing this or that. It pretty much started back up after he had been home for only one or two days. I told his PCP that he’s still having paranoid delusions, so he increased his Risperadol for us, but I’ve yet to notice an improvement. I’m supposed to let him know at the beginning of next week how things are going. When he was released from the hospital he was referred to a local psychiatrist and his PCP is referring him to a local neurologist. I don’t know how I’m going to get him to go to these appointments. I know it will be another fight.

I’m not a lawyer or anything, so of course I can’t offer you any legal advice, but I can tell you how I had to go about forcing my father to get help. Even though I had a POA, I was told I couldn’t force him to receive treatment if he wasn’t willing to go, which of course he wasn’t. Things got so bad that I had no other choice but to do the 96 hour hold for evaluation and treatment. I printed my state’s forms for the 96 online, completed them, and took them to the local courthouse to be filed. They told me they would go to a judge for review and if she decided there was any merit to my claims, which she did, she would send the police to the house to pick him up and transport him to a hospital. So that’s what they did. They had told me that if he wasn’t willing to go with them on his own- which he reluctantly did, finally- they said they would have had to cuff him and make him go. But thank goodness they didn’t have to do that!!

Once he was there and had been evaluated by a medical doctor and psychiatrist, they determined he had Alzheimer’s and signed a letter saying he was permanently incapacitated. Since I now have this letter to attach to the POA, I’ve been told that it activates it and I shouldn’t have any problems getting him treatment in the future.

My father still hates me for “having him sent away” as he calls it. He says horrible things to me sometimes but other times tells me he loves me and acts like there’s no problems between us. I’ll admit this has been really, really hard on me. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and this has just made it so much worse. Some days I don’t think I can keep going, but thankfully I have my wonderful friendship with Jehovah God to lean on. I don’t know what I would do without him.

One of the worst parts of the whole thing is that my father’s other child- a son who has never had anything to do with him unless it was to ask for money, has always been into drugs, without a job, and in and out of legal troubles- is now coming around since he’s found out that our Dad has this terminal diagnosis. And my dad is treating him like the wonderful child that’s always made him proud and always taken care of him, and me and my husband like we’re only after his money. I think he has his son and I mixed up, haha.