VENT: I did some stupid things & there were consequences

LadyTexan

It has been a difficult day. The caregiving has been mostly par for the course. But I made some stupid choices and mistakes and created a real tar-baby.

I loaded the dishwasher with the fork tines facing up. When I was unloading the dishwasher, I poked my thumb to the point that it bled A LOT!

Later, I was tired and hungry and decided to make an inexpensive high-protein snack: hard boiled eggs. I turned on the wrong burner and walked away from the kitchen. I came back to a smoke filled room. My electric kettle was sitting on top of the burner I turned on in error. The plastic melted all over the glass cook top like a glob of tar. The fumes were horrible. I ruined my tea kettle and the stove top. Although the house was full of smoke, the smoke alarm didn't go off. The firemen replaced my smoke detector.

Then DH gives me an ear full about how I should never leave the kitchen when the stove is on and how the tea kettle shouldn't have been on the stove top at all. Yes, I know both of these things. I made stupid choices and a mistake and there were consequences. I want to run away from my life.

I am grateful for the nice firemen and that no one was hurt. At first I was annoyed by DH's scolding. Then I was grateful that he had the where with all to school me on safety tips.

ladyzetta

((((LadyTexan))))   You need to sit down relax and have a cup of tea, warm your water in the microwave. You are so lucky that's all that happened and yes be thankful that your DH was able to share safety tips with you. At times I also put the forks in the wrong way when I have too many in and I want to make sure they get clean. I always put knives sharp point down, next time when I try to put forks in the wrong way I will remember you. Sounds like now you got to replace your stove top and get a new tea pot. Is there something you can get to get the burnt plastic off the stove?  Hugs Zetta

Joe C.

Yes that is a rough day for sure. Hope you you have a better evening and can unwind a little.

Doityourselfer

((  I  hope you have a better evening. ))

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry this happened to you.  These types of things seem to happen to me when I am overly stressed and my brain can’t pay attention to things I am doing.  And yes, like you. I end up more stressed because I now have a situation to clean up and have to spend money to get everything back in place again. 

Go have that tea - with water heated in a microwave.  I usually set my cup  in there for two minutes on high. Maybe eat chocolate chip cookies or brownies too… and watch some trashy show.

Crushed

please use a microwave kettle   carrying boiling water in an open cup is a great way to get burned.  plus if you have very hot water and put something in it you will get a steam eruption

We taught this in lab safety

Microwave kettle  

Cherjer

Hi LT...you always have your act together and are so aware of everything going on with your husband.

I think we have so much going on with caregiving...trying to do things for two people instead of just ourself...this can happen so easily. 

Not that important, but got up this morning about 7;20 and had an 8 am yoga class on zoom. Went into the kitchen and pee on the floor...then looked at my puppy's bed ( not his sleeping crate) and pee there. Think the pee on the floor was my DH! So...not a big deal but every morning I am cleaning the tile in the bathroom and wondering why I got a puppy to add to my work!! Lesson learned...lock bedroom door so DH just was the bathroom. 

But had a good day later on and my friend says I have to destress!! 

Have a good day tomorrow!!

Mint

(((Lady Texan)))

Hope you get a little peace and rest today

LadyTexan

Good morning all. Thank you for your guidance and support.

Its a new day. I will be present and aware. Hopefully, this will prevent more mishaps. IMHO Staying on the ball is part of the responsibilities of a caregiver, as is keeping the home safe. Its much more common for the PWD to have mishaps with the stove. So I wonder, am I equipped to be a caregiver? I must do better. If I can't do better, I need to re-evaluate our situation.

I was able to remove most of the burnt plastic from the glass cooktop. I will call the manufacturer for recommendations. I hope I can salvage it but only if it will function safely.

The kitchen still smells strongly of burnt plastic. I keep the kitchen window open and the ceiling fans on. I took off the knob for the burner that has the plastic residue. 

One thing that struck me about what happened yesterday is how much I wanted someone to tell me, 

• I am glad you both are okay. 
• You did some dumb things but you are not a dumb person. 
• It is going to be okay now.

And I wanted an IRL hug. Instead, the caregiving duties continued. While the plastic glob was still gooey on the stove, DH shuffled in and told me he was hungry. Later, as I am scraping off the plastic remnants, DH shuffled in and he wanted ice cream. 

It was a hard day. Thank you for being here for me. I am grateful for you all.

@cherjer Starting the day with yoga and a puppy in the house sounds like heaven. There will be pee. Even without a new puppy. Its part of the caregiving experience.. Enjoy your fur baby. Enjoy the puppy breath. Enjoy his (her) curious face and clumsy moves. Enjoy watching him (her) play until nap time. Puppies make me smile. I am glad you have a puppy.

@qbc You are on the mark. When I am overly stressed, my brain isn't focused on the job at hand. That's when the mistakes and the missteps occur. Then the unplanned expenses, then more financial stress. Although, I didn't have tea. I ate Chessmen cookies and read some James Patterson. And I mindfully applied lavender hand cream. 

loveskitties

Dear LT,

Even the best functioning brains can only handle so much for so long.

Accidents happen to the best of us.

Did a little dive into the internet and came up with the following to help with the burnt plastic smell:  

In terms of a safe and natural deodorizer, there's nothing better on the market than plain white vinegar. It absorbs bad odors, and its scent quickly dissipates afterward. According to CNET, you can mix equal parts white vinegar and warm water to create a natural scent-removing cleaner.

This can be decanted into a spray bottle and used in lieu of an air freshener. You can also fill some shallow containers with your vinegar mixture and leave them in the affected areas to allow them to absorb the burnt plastic scent over time. Change the solution to a fresh batch every day for maximum absorption. If you're concerned about the scent of vinegar, Samsung recommends adding vanilla extract, lemon juice or flavored teabags to your solution.

Hope you find this helpful.  

Rescue mom

Don’t beat yourself up. Glass top stoves, ugh on mine. Every kitchen “crisis” I’ve had boiled down to (no pun intended) not noticing heat on, and worse, stressed/distracted/rushed. We’re caregivers, that’s all pretty much a given. But repair guys tell me such things are common with glass tops, regardless of dementia in the house.

A focusing, or grounding, tip I learned a couple weeks ago might  help others here, when we’re running in circles. It’s “the 5-4-3-2-1 senses” technique (can be googled). It takes maybe 90 seconds you think you don’t have, but better than escalating crisis.  

Stop what you’re doing, stay where you are, and count 5 things you can see, then 4 things you can feel (floor, clothes, chair, etc), 3 things you can hear (heartbeat, breath, cars etc), 2 things you can touch, and one thing you can smell. You will be able to focus better after that. I thought it was amazing.

White Crane

Dear LT, I'm so sorry you had such a rough day!  I hope you have a better day today and can get some rest.  Sending hugs and prayers.  And Lady, you are an amazing caregiver!

Brenda

nancyj194

LT, today is a new day and yesterday is history. The main thing is you and your DH are okay.  

There have been a lot of good suggestions on here. Thank goodness for this support site. 

Life is for the living and indeed things happen. We get past them, thankfully.

Rescue mom's suggestion for the 5-4-3-2-1 senses was quite good. I'll remember to do that on days/nights that I find myself stressed.  Thanks for that Rescue

The vinegar idea for bad odors is a great idea from loveskitties. I'm going to give that a try sometime. 

Enjoy that new puppy. Potty spots and all. My little cushion aka Cairn terrier recently died and I miss her every day.  She was always a ray of sunshine in my life. 

Nancy

ElaineD

Dear LT,

We ALL have had something similar, trust me.

I love smooth top stoves.....HATE the open flame burners with all the places for stuff to fall into.

Try a paint scraper with a blade to scrape off the hard plastic?

Treat yourself with patience, love, tolerance and forgiveness, LT.

Love elained

DrinaJGB

A few months ago I had made a corn chowder. It was on the stove simmering, but I had turned it up a bit to get the cheese to melt and was meaning to turn it back to simmering after a few minutes. However, I then became distracted and had to go pick up my dog at the vet.

I came back home to a house full of smoke and a chowder that was burnt to a crisp. I immediately turned off the stove and the pot was a complete disaster as well as my stove-top. I had to open up the whole house and turn all ceiling fans on. Luckily, it was a beautiful day with a cool breeze.

My DH has damage to his amygdala from the infectious encephalitis--which is the danger/fear area of the brain, so he did not think to turn off the stove.

 This was a real wake-up call to me, and I realized that area of his brain has not improved over time at all. I felt so scared that I could have burned down the house and killed my DH and my other dog that I cried. I kicked myself all day for being in such a rush to get out the door --just trying to get everything for the day on my list resolved, that I foolishly did something I have never done before.

I think over this dozen years of care-giving it is the worst thing I have done. But I could never get through all the stupid things I have done in a million years because they are too numerous to name.

Because S*** happens.Cut your self some slack.

We have to give ourselves some space and realize that some days we simply cannot get through our long list of responsibilities, and if we don't --it's okay.I decided I can take the attitude of Scarlet O'Hara---Tomorrow's another day.

June45

LT, most of us have been there, and done something similar.  It happens because we are physically and mentally distracted in about 5 different directions!

Pooh Bear

Elaine's suggestion is a good one.  I once set a plastic coffee mug on the glass top stove, and forgot that I turned on the front burner instead of the back one.  Yes, it melted but not as badly as your tea pot; I didn't need the firemen.

I used a scraper with a sharp razor blade in it and got the plastic off.  It took some elbow grease, but it's okay now.

Just take a deep breath and have  a nice "cold one."  Put your feet up on the porch at sunset and just BREATHE

JDancer

Lady Texan, and others, you certainly have my empathy. The stresses of caregiving can cause us all to make mistakes. Our burden is heavy. We mustn't be hard on ourselves or others.

Been there, done that.

macamaw61

Lady Texan

I notice you always find something to be thankful for when the crisis is over.

I truly admire that. You really do let your light shine and bring a smile.

Blessings

Sylvia

David J

A razor blade scraper, Weiman glass cooktop cleaner, elbow grease, and repeat!  Don’t adk how I know.

Gig Harbor

Maybe turn the burner back on for a short time until the plastic softens and then use the scraper.