The freaking walker!

RanchersWife

My loved one needs her walker! She uses it 1/2 the time. The rest of the time she reels around reaching for things to hold on to. I go get the walker and give it to her to use. It makes me crazy! If this were any other crazy-making thing in my life I would let it go. I’m that type of person. I can let things go if I need to. Is it wrong to stop worrying about her walker?

During the time it took me to write this, she walked out of her bedroom three times without the walker. She’s also in the pacing stage. So basically she’s making laps and she leaves the walker in her bedroom every lap. Make that 4 times! 

Quilting brings calm

Yes, my mom does that lurching and holding onto everything in the AL apartment. She will use the walker sometimes in the apartment and always at the AL outside of the apartment.  My bigger issue with her is that she doesn’t want to use the walker if I take her anywhere. She wants to use her cane. Unfortunately she can’t really balance herself with a cane and I have to take her other arm for support.  I’m not going to be able to keep her from falling and I’m no spring chicken if I fall with her.  She meets me at the front door of her AL building just so I won’t be as likely to  make her go back and get her walker. 

My dad has a walker.  He only uses it to take their old Boston terrier for a walk  around the AL.  He has a cane, which he also won’t use.  So he hugs the wall in every hallway everywhere brushing it with his arm to help balance him. 

It is really  nerve racking if I’m taking both of them somewhere. 

M1

RW, I don't think it's wrong to stop worrying about her walker.  There's only so much you can do.  Especially in the house--I imagine she's not going outside much if at all any more?  Probably the best you can do is make sure there's furniture strategically placed that she can grab onto.  It's probably inevitable that she's going to fall at some point and I doubt that there's anything at all you can do to prevent it.  Maybe that's too fatalistic, but like you say, it's going to just drive you crazy otherwise.  You can't tie her down, and you can't tie the walker to her.

RanchersWife

Well, she would add the front porch to her pacing loop if I let her. It involves opening a door with a walker in front of her and navigating over the threshold. It’s an even bigger fall risk. I help her out a few times a day but not on every loop. I’ve given up the walker but the battle today is walking around with a glass of juice in her hand. I’m just not adjusting to this current decline well. I think we will move to caregivers everyday and I will have short shifts. It’s 8:39 am and I’m already mad. I cancelled the bath aid because I don’t want to do that battle today. I bathed her yesterday.

SusanB-dil

Uggh!  Not alone!  MIL will hang onto various furniture as she goes and is more unsteady in the mornings. With anosognosia, there is nothing wrong, so... "I don't NEED to use walker. I don't NEED to use the cane! It makes me look old and looks ridiculous!" (she is 83) One excuse she uses is that the cane hurts her arm when she hangs it on her arm. (yes, we know - not supposed to 'hang it on arm' anyway, but we don't try to argue that point)  She had some therapy after a stroke and her walk improved some with the therapy, so not as worried about the walker, but she is supposed to hang onto the cane.  This is one of the reasons she cannot be left alone as a fall-risk.  Also aggravated as to why she cannot be left alone...  a cycle here... But can't argue as that doesn't help anyone, so we are just dealing best we can.  I do like the suggestion putting  'steadying' objects throughout her walking path. (thank you M1)

just a thought - maybe remove 'glass' for more durable drinkware...

Farm Gal

I'm having the same trouble with my hubby.  I ask him where his walker is and he tells me he doesn't know where it is.  I would go get it and bring it to him and he wants to know where it was.  So obviously he has forgotten to use it when he got up out of his chair or off the toilet or out of bed.  He is very unstable without it but I can only do so much so don't fret about it much.  

A friend said when her husband was in memory care that the question of the day asked to many of the residents was "Where is your walker"  She said she heard that all the time around the facility.  

ladyzetta

Farm Gal,    That brought a smile to my face. When my DH was in MC you always heard where is you walker, also where did you get that walker. They knew they needed a walker so any walker would work. I remember seeing a resident who did not need a walker just taking one cause she thought she needed it. I can laugh about it now.

IDrive3

When my mom urged her mom to use her cane, Grandma would tell her, "I only need that if I'm going to fall!"

harshedbuzz

ladyzetta wrote:

Farm Gal,    That brought a smile to my face. When my DH was in MC you always heard where is you walker, also where did you get that walker. They knew they needed a walker so any walker would work. I remember seeing a resident who did not need a walker just taking one cause she thought she needed it. I can laugh about it now.

This brought back a memory. Not long after dad died, I had my knee replaced and relied on a walker when out and about for several weeks just in case. My husband took me out for lunch at a nice Chinese restaurant that was hosting an outing of residents from one of the local MCF at a large table near us; their van was outside, 2 aides were assisting and they were having a great time. Their walkers were all folded and stowed near the coat check, but mine was next to the banquet where we were seated. Several of the folks from that party tried to make off which my shiny new walker during the meal. 

RW-

When my dear friend's mom refused to use her walker, her husband installed rails throughout her in-law suite and the family room hallway area which is what most AL and MCF have. If she's still in the tiny house, maybe this is an option.

HB

Mobile AL

Daddy doesn't want to use his walker or cane either and his physical therapist recommended rails down the hall. I'm considering it, especially since I had to call an ambulance Thursday night because daddy passed out. Fortunately he was sitting in a chair at the time and didn't fall but I know it's just a matter of time. 

Daddy was dehydrated and his blood pressure was very low which caused him to pass out. I constantly have a cup or bottle of water by his chair and constantly am nagging him to drink but he's stubborn and I have to be very stern with him before he takes a sip so it's an all day battle sometimes. His meds cause him to be light headed too. So I'm constantly having to watch him.