Please pray for our mom

softie87042

Hi everyone. I have posted on here a few times over the last year or so regarding my mom's situation with FTD. I am very sorry to share that she suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke last week. She made her wishes clear in this kind of situation, so all we can do now is make our precious mom as comfortable as possible as she transitions.

I am in shock, pain, and immense grief. While I am in my mid-30s, I still feel "young" to be losing my mom (she is 68). I am angry that I was not able to see her for almost 2 years because of the pandemic (I live 3,000 miles away, although I am with her now). I am overwhelmed at the thought of all my sister and I have to juggle (we don't have much other family in the area) on top of the emotional turmoil we are going through. I am grateful that I was able to speak with her via Skype just hours before this happened, to have had one last conversation with her.

We are visiting her daily, reading to her, playing her music, and she knows we are there. She holds my hand so tight, and while she cannot really speak or open her eyes, I am cherishing these moments we can still have together.

I guess I just wanted to share this news as this community has been so helpful and kind. I am at a loss for what I will do without my mom. If anyone has recommendations on books or resources to manage grief, I would appreciate them. I do have a therapist and I am speaking with her weekly right now, and have support from family and friends, but it is still all too much to bear.

We welcome any well wishes and positive and peaceful energy to our mom and family.

SusanB-dil

A rough time for you - good you have therapist.

all i can do is a prayer and a ((hug)) to you

ladyzetta

(((Softie)))

You are with your Mom right now and thats all that counts. You have no reason to feel guilty or angry not seeing your Mom for the past 2 years, its not like you can just hop in your car and drive 3000 miles. Your Mom and you and your sister are in my prayers, God will give you the strength you need to take care of everything. Right now just enjoy what time you have left with your Mother. We will be here for you. Hugs to All of You, Zetta 

jfkoc

It's hard and I have nothing to share that will make it easier to lose your mother. I do not think grief is managed. I has a life of its own but I will tell you that the acute pain will lessen over time and it will wash over you less often. 

We are here for you with a shoulder and a hug and will be able to share suggestions on how to  handle practical matters.

Hold your mother close and please know we a re by your side.

OutsideLookingIn

{{{SOFTIE}}}

I can empathize with your situation.  My mom didn't have dementia of any kind, but a hemorrhagic stroke took her from us, too.  Good news/bad news, she was without most brain activity just after it happened, except for her breathing and heart.  

I'm so glad you have time to be with her and tell her how much you love her, send her on her way with love and comfort, and hold her hand.  It's my experience, but I hear it a lot, that grief is like a surgery incision or a wound.  At first it hurts bad all the time, then it hurts but not as bad all the time, then you find yourself occasionally not hurting (but not often), then as time passes, it hurts only if you bump it wrong, and after a while, the pain fades away.  But the scar is still there, a memory of what happened, and still can hurt once in a while, sometimes for no reason.  So hang in there.  The timing of all the above varies from person to person, but it seems to be universal in those I know.  If that wound still hurts a lot after a reasonable amount of time, it may be time to have it looked at (as in work with a therapist).

Please know I am praying for your mom and for you and your sister.  Remember to take care of yourselves, too.

OLI

King Boo

I prayed for you and your Mom this morning, and will hold you in my prayer intentions this week.

I am glad you can be with her.  These final days can be difficult, but they bring great gifts and eventual peace with them too, although you may not experience these gifts until much later.

The introspection, and sometimes the 'just being' while at at loved one's side during the dying process is a life changing thing.

You did well, and are there now.

scarfire

i am very sad to read about your mom, softie. you are so young to go through this sad situation. i am happy you were able to have that skype conversation with her. i hope you treasure that skype session and all the happy memories you had with her. sending peace and love vibes to you and your mom. 

scarfire