Family support has dwindled.

kateSheepdell

I need to tell my story.  My LO is in the final stage of EO.  We were very lucky to have found a residential home where he is staying now, after a horrifying experience during the Covid-19 lockdown.  I am not the person making decisions for him, but his wife listens and certainly loves him.

The family has now fallen apart.  One of his sisters is my partner and among his wife, my SO, and myself, we visit him as much as we can bear.  His other sister, hasn't seen him since before Covid, and that was only once.  She lost her husband 10 months ago to cancer. She breaks down into sobs when she thinks about him.  His brother actually moved further away, where he will sweep in at the last minute to be the hero.  His mother doesn't want to see him "like that".

I understand that their visits are not under my control, that my LO likely won't know who any of us are, but sometimes he looks into my eyes and I know he is there.  Sometimes I can get him to laugh, sometimes I make him cry.  

When I leave him, it usually takes me a couple hours to shake it off, return to a regular world.  

He and I were chore buddies.  All the projects that need doing in our family are now just mine.  I miss him every day.  He changed my life and I know that I changed his.  

Losing him is every day is just so hard.  I wish I could understand why the three of us put ourselves through this.  The others just pretend it is over.

jane136

I get this all too well.  My mom lives with my husband and I.  It seems the more advanced her Alzheimer's gets the less the rest of the family visits or invites her to family functions.  She still knows the immediate family but won't for long if they don't stay in contact.  I am exhausted.  She doesn't want to go to a nursing home and I don't want to have to place her if at all possible but I need respite.

Paulinec

My mother is at the paranoid state. She thinks I am stealing from her and wants me removed as her executor and my brother in her place. My dad does not want to change to my brother because he is not involved in their daily life. She talks about it daily and my dad is struggling as the caretaker, he is 85 years old. She is trying to make an appointment with their lawyer. I would like to get him involved in a support group but he has hearing issues and my mom gets paranoid about where he is going if he is gone for long. any thoughts in dealing with the paranoid stage or support?

DrinaJGB

After 12 years our family has fallen apart, and unfortunately I as the 24/7 caregiver am the fall-guy.

This disease takes no prisoners--that's just the nature of the beast in so many cases.

mommyandme (m&m)

Pauline,

I see you are new and this is your first post, with this handle anyway.  Welcome unfortunately.

You may want to start a new thread with your questions because it might get lost in this older thread.

Your father should probably not change executors and give the lawyer a heads up.  Your dad can put your moms worries at bay by telling her he’s working on it. Some kind of “fiblet”.

She’ll eventually let it go, most likely.

So sorry for your troubles. Glad you found this forum.  It’s been so helpful for me.