Dealing with ridicule

rising sun

Hello,

My husband is quick to anger and yell at me, sometimes for doing the things he told me to do. Other times  it may be in a conversation and he is talking in circles but says I am. I am having trouble emotionally coping with the ridicule.  Deep breaths help and reframing my perspective that he can't help it helps but I could still use some other ideas..  Thank  you.

.

LicketyGlitz

That's a tough one, rising, and not so fun to have to deal with. Are there ways you can agree with him and get him off the ridicule track? Responding with something like "Good golly, you're right! What the hell was I thinking!" And then chuckle at your "mistake" - or would that not be helpful either?

Dementia rock star Teepa Snow has an article on calming angry outburst that will prolly give 'ya some new dementia tricks! https://teepasnow.com/blog/how-to-calm-angry-outbursts-of-people-living-with-dementia/

She's probably got a video on youtube regarding the subject too. I've learned a ton from her!

Good luck to you and your growling husband. Dementia rascals are hard to handle, but not impossible!

loveskitties

Have you shared these behaviors with his doctor?  If not, there may be some medication to help take the edge off so that he is less angry.

Wilted Daughter

The angry outbursts are the worst for me as it usually causes anxiety or reluctance to complete a necessary task. Finding the reason for the outbursts may be helpful, but if memory/cognition are impaired it is moot. Validation is said to be used as a strategy but for me that just keeps you stuck in the mud of explaining/complaining void of rational planning. 

If you are doing what is safe and in his best interest then there is little else to concern yourself. The outbursts can be abusive but are said to be common which for me is not helpful to know. Perhaps his doctor can offer some suggestions (medications) in addition to the strategies you may learn from support groups, or other sources.

Try not to take it personal and distance yourself to another room when he begins to yell. Come back when he is calm and repeat as necessary. I've had success with this tactic. 

Best wishes...it's another hurdle to overcome.

PickledCondiment

Thanks, wilted daughter, you've nailed the issue completely. I've learned to focus on what is necessary and safe for my LO, everything else is pointless.  I spend a great deal of time walking and talking with the dog until the storm blows over. Rinse and repeat.