Medication- mild dementia

sunshine5

My DH was confused about dispensing his meds into his pill boxes, so I distributed the two weeks supply and color coded and wrote am and pm on the pill boxes. At first he repeatedly asked what the colors meant  and which one was am pm. Last two days I checked and no pills were taken, when asked he said he took them from the other box and I believed him. Same thing happened today, all pills are still in the box, says he took them. He is diabetic, has a kidney, heart issues, takes meds for prostate and cholesterol too. 

How do I get him to take his daily morning and evening meds?

Getting very angry and frustrated! Along with coping with his dementia problems!

Any tips would be helpful!

loveskitties

Sounds like it is time for you to become the keeper and dispenser of the medications.  Just another chore you must pick up the slack on.

Don't be too hard on LO, as he probably really  thinks he did take his meds.  

terei

He should not have free access to his meds.  You should be dispensing them to him + verify he is taking them.  Clearly he is no longer able to manage this.

Ernie123

I am afraid you are starting to see typical behaviors of someone with dementia. He is losing his executive function and cannot plan and organize as he used to and his memory is getting confused.  He is feeling angry and frustrated too and doesn’t understand why. You will have to assume the responsibility for his medications. I would avoid having any discussion about his meds and what he is doing.  There is no point in discussion, it will probably end in arguments. Just give him the pills at the right time. Your local Alzheimer’s Society can provide you with practical support and advice. Things will not get easier as he progresses and you will need to learn how to respond effectively to the challenges that arise. If you keep in mind it is his dementia that is causing the problems and not really his choice to behave that way, it makes it easier to not get upset when things go sideways. Reaching out here for advice is wise. There are unfortunately many of us out here who have learned the hard way there is no easy path dealing with dementia and I am willing to share my experience if it can be of any help.

1962ART

  You are giving me a good exercise in thinking:  What will I do when DH presents the same behavior?  I agree that you are now responsible for the meds along with all your other caregiving jobs.  

I prefer pills to remain in the bathroom, but when we get to that point, I do believe I will bring mine out to the table and take them in from of him.  His will also be arranged there and we will do it together.  DH would not appreciate being walked to his bathroom and watched while he takes his pills, so I think this table situation is our best bet.  I take some of my meds at bedtime so if we both do, we will think about returning to the table under the guise of updating our next day's plans.  

We write AM and PM right on the bottles and don't put them in a pill sorter, at this time.  This works OK for now.

Best of luck to you both!

Buggsroo

My husband takes pills morning and night. In the morning I hand him his arricept and his eye vitamin and he takes it with a swig of diet ginger ale. At night, I lay out his five pills for bladder, cholesterol, mild sedative, etc. He takes them before he goes to bed. 

Like others here, the caregiver takes over meds and doles them out. I realized I had to do it and to keep it as regular as I could. He also has to have drops for glaucoma before going to bed, sometimes he is not in the right frame of mind to submit, so I let it go. Perfectly imperfect am I.

Stuck in the middle

DW and I have pill sorters, or we could not remember if we have taken our meds that day or not.  We both take several meds.  I fill both sorters weekly, and we take them at the same time.  

About four years ago, my wife began needing help filling her pill sorter.  She did OK with the one a day pills, but was confused by pills that were taken irregularly, like half pill on Sunday and Thursday.

As time went on, I took over filling her pill sorter instead of helping.

Later, I recognized a need to check her pill sorter and remind her to take them.

Now, I check her pill sorter, remind her to take them, and watch her while she does it.  Otherwise, she will run a glass of water, take a sip, comb her hair, pour out the remaining water, and walk away.

Next step will be locking the pills up, probably, as I did when the children were small.

I avoid strong emotions in reminding her by saying "we" instead of "you" haven't taken our pills, and by being patiently unsurprised when I prompt her. I am just this immovable object who is not going to fix breakfast until AM pills are taken, and is not turning out the lights for sleep until PM meds are taken.

I have it easier than some because DW wants to take her meds, she just needs help or it won't consistently happen.  

Sligo177

Hi Sunshine 5,

I hope he is receptive to having you give him his meds.  That makes it a lot easier...I have a small box in which we keep DH's meds, and every morning and evening I put it on the kitchen table.  I have a list of AM meds and PM meds on a little sheet I have paper clipped to the front of the box.  We sit down every day - a part of the day he can expect - and we do the meds.  No other way he could remember it!  Keeps me in line, too.  He has had Alzheimer's diagnosis for 1 1/2 years.  Good luck and take care of you too.

Rescue mom

My DH lost the ability to recognize, remember and/or use any kind of pillbox relatively early, even when he could do many other things.

 I have to hand him the pills and watch him take them. Thankfully he does not fight or argue, but he could get distracted by the slightest thing, put them down, and then they’re gone. I had to provide water. If he went to get some, anything could happen but probably not taking meds.

I I had to “hide” any OTC pills, or he’d occasionally grab a bottle for whatever, and take those regardless of need.

As said, no point in talking or trying to explain it to him, it’s yet another chore caregivers must do. With my DH, I just started handing them to him with a glass of water, and he would accept that. No discussion. If we talked about it, he’d insist he could do it, get angry, and you know.

I use a pillbox myself  to keep his and my meds straight.

Ed1937

I knew it was going to be a problem when I took over her meds because she is an RN, and that just was not going to happen easily. So while she was still able to take her own medications, I slowly worked myself into the process. When she would mention that she was going to get her meds, I'd say I was going to get mine, and I would bring hers too. Before long, I was always getting our meds, and we took them together. Now she frequently tells me she already took them, or she is not going to take them anymore. I just keep annoying her until she finally gives in. It does no good to get upset with her if she says she already took them because she really believes she has. I just don't give up, and eventually she does. She has no idea what she takes, or why she takes them.

M1

Sunshine we went through this too, and as you can see the answers are pretty consistent.  You'll have to start doing it.  The pill minders only work for those who still know day from night and know the day of the week, and what they are supposed to do with the pills.  A couple of years ago i was able to use a day calendar for her for a while, but that only helped for about six months.

Like Ed, we had pretty big battles over this, first with using a pill minder at all, then with my having to remove it and the bottles from her room/control entirely.  But my partner is on a lot of meds for a lot of fairly complex conditions, and there were significant toxicity issues both with missing doses or with overdosing.  We are now to the point, like so many others, where I have to directly see her take them.  We have twice daily dosing of a bunch of maintenance meds, and pain meds for severe scoliosis as needed four times daily, all of which I have to supervise/administer.  She also doesn't know what any of them are any more and couldn't tell anyone what she takes.  However, I still have to be careful:  I keep all the bottles in my bathroom, and recently she went in there when i was getting groceries and pulled all the bottles that had her name on them and removed them back to her room.  Fortunately, I realized right away what had happened and was able to retrieve them when I got home without any incidents.  But the day is fast approaching when I am going to have to get a child lock for my bedroom door:  she can't bring herself to stay out of my space.  I have held off, because it will be another battle and right now, I'm not sure that a child lock will keep her out.  It may have to be some other kind of lockable container.

Rescue mom

M1, my DH did that same thing—collected all bottles with his name, and stuck them in a dresser drawer. Happened twice, after the second time I locked them away. I’m not sure he knew what it was…He didn’t like it that  something was locked up (he didn’t know what) but he forgot about it by days end. He was a big “hunter-gatherer” with lots of stuff.

Joydean

In April 2019 my husband was having a lot of panic attacks. Because of Covid I could not get him in to see his doctor, we talked on phone and he (doctor) sent some meds to help she. They didn’t work, dh became suicidal , I had to call 911, they came and took him to hospital, of course I was not allowed to go with him. Around 11 pm hospital called to say they were transporting my husband to a psychiatric facility. They gave me the phone number and said I could call around 1 am to make sure he was there. I called and called, finally around 7 am sorry one did answer and said yes he was there and I could talk to him later in the day. Long story short, they refused to release him to the VA, would give me no information, and yes I told them I have medical power, when they let me talk to my husband, he was crying and begging me to come get him! Had no idea why he was in jail and promised to never do it again, just let me come home. I told the administrator to have my husband ready to leave because I was on my way to get him even if I had to have police to help me. They had him standing in the front door and when I pulled up they just put him out the door. They had no idea who I was was because they did not even speak to me. My husband still had the same clothes on and smelled like he had not had a bath in the 5 days he was there. He was so terrified, he would not let go of my hand. We finally did see his doctor, test were run, and he had dementia. Taking the meds, he will take them because as he said I never want to be in that hell jail again. He thinks they are for the panic attacks. I never want him to be in that kind of place again!

sunshine5

Thanks for your input

Gig Harbor

I offered to fill my husband’s pill boxes because I said I had lots of time. He was having difficulty so I removed all pills from his bathroom. Each morning I put his AM pills in a small dish at the breakfast table and at night I set the same dish on the bathroom counter and remind him to take them. The only time they get missed now is when I forget to put them out.

sunshine5

That seems a smart thing to do.

When I saw the whole weeks pill box empty, he assured me he didn’t touch the pill box.

Got frustrated and did what lot of u had to do. Give DH each morning and evening pills in a little dish and make sure he takes them.

Never thought I had to do this additional task. 

I get asked -what have u done for me today?

Thanks to everyone for giving their input.

Today I wrote on my iPhone and printed his am and pm meds lists and printed them from the app.