Hygiene(1)

Spanky77

‘Not sure how to ask or explain this.. but my DH has incontinence and wears depends all of the time lately. So, my question is he does still try to go to the toilet, but he has a bad habit of peeing on the floor or hits the walls, baseboards, etc. Tonight at 12:45 in morning, I heard him get up and go. He got it on his clothes, some of the carpet…and he won’t let me change him. He makes a hissing sound if I try to help him. Not violent—more like a stubborn little boy. (?) I will have to wash the Linens tomorrow (a common experience every few days now), and I get concerned about baby rash on him, but my question is any suggestions how to stop this?  Or is it part of the ‘process’ of the mind diminishing? I’m still trying to understand this whole big dementia monster.  My DH is 12 years  older than I, and I’m trying to wrap my head around it. As mentioned in my very first post, it has come on soooo quickly  

Anyway, second question is how do you get someone with dementia to brush and floss their teeth thoroughly? I have tried several items. We’re doing our best. OH my goodness, and a heads up is my DH was using his electric razor after he brushed his teeth tonight. He got the electric nose trimmer. Oh my, I was down the hall and came back to blood all around his nose and lip. He’s ok, but I’m guessing he is moving into a different phase now ?  Well, thank you for any thoughts.  I really don’t know what stage he’s in. I hold onto hope…but starting to move fast forward on this situation. Very hard , for sure, and im thankful fir this site.  

sincerely, spanky 

Sligo177

Dear Spanky,

God bless you.  What a rough night you have had.  I will hide the nose trimmer now, my DH has not done anything quite like that yet but we never know how their thoughts will change.  I am having the same problem with my DH about dental care, bought an electric toothbrush and also a water pic, he refuses to use either.  I'm going to ask our caregiver who comes in a few 1/2 days to try to get him on board with the water pik.  But it is so hard.  Maybe if he will rinse and swish a few times a day?

The incontinence - will he let you put desitin on him at any point during the day?  That would help if he's open to it....Prayers for you and hope others have good ideas for stopping the problem of missing the toilet and peeing on the floor and walls and carpet.  My DH is also about 12 years older than I am, diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago, has trouble expressing himself, can't remember lots of words, can't remember people, increasingly weak.  Hoping today will be a  better day for you.

LadyTexan

Good Morning.

Getting DH to accept my assistance with toileting was a great challenge. DH is now accepting of my help and will let me know when he has to go. This has been HUGE and has cut down on many major bathroom cleanups. When DH soils his disposable briefs or misses the toilet to create what I think of as an "ocean of urine" or other mess here's what I do:

1. I remain calm and use a calm voice. I say, I'll get you fresh underwear and pajamas. I rarely mention the mess. 
2. Towels are readily handy to sop up the ocean. I clean up DH with baby wipes if practical. Sometimes a full shower is in order. 
3. I put the fresh clothes on DH and send him out of the bathroom so I can clean it up properly.

Of course the key is getting his acceptance for help and this did not happen over night. It was incremental. I learned from the folks here to start inserting myself into the bathroom. At first I was able to get DH to leave the door open and I would be right outside telling him I was available if he wanted help. DH did not like it. When the home health aides were here, I asked them to emphasize to DH to let me assist in the bathroom for his safety. I was persistent and kept inserting myself and now I have been accepted. I keep it light and silly in the water closet. I maintain a calm or cheerful voice and that seems to help. I offer to take DH to the bathroom every couple of hours.

I put the toothpaste on DH's electric tooth brush, then put it in his hand and guide it to his mouth before turning it on. I let him know before I turn it on then I supervise as he moves it around his mouth. Flossing is beyond DH's abilities now. I recently tried to help DH use a waterpik. That was beyond his abilities as well. 

I agree with hiding the nose trimmers. I would also restrict access to scissors and other objects that could harm DH like chemicals and medication.

Assisting with hygiene seems to be one of the trickier activities. In my experience, having your assistance accepted by your loved one may take time but makes the process more pleasant for all. Good luck.

Ed1937

Spanky77 wrote:

 As mentioned in my very first post, it has come on soooo quickly  

Anytime things come on suddenly, please have him checked for a UTI. He can have a UTI without the typical symptoms, and they can lead to all kinds of symptoms that might be taken as progression. If you have the test done, please ask for a culture with it. Without a culture, they can't be sure they are using the best antibiotic for success. Using the wrong one might not have any effect on the infection if there is one.

Welcome to the forum, but sorry you need to be here. You will get a lot of good suggestions and understanding here.

jfkoc

ASAP get a 6 sided waterproof matress cover. Then layer the bedding....waterproof pad ( I used crib sized) fitted sheet...repeat. If your husband has a regular place where he sits protect it too.

The toilet bowel may not be obvious. Make certain it looks like a target. I would leave the cover and seat up and then  use tape around the circumference of the bowel. 

A daytime hint is to get him to the toilet every 2 hours or so. Don't ask. Simply announce that it is toilet time for both of you.

It is hard....the whole thing is hard...

Buggsroo

Hi Spanky,

My husband has stopped brushing his teeth, I figure that I will just accept that he does not want to brush them. His hygiene isn’t what it used to be, I feel I am winning if I can get him to shower a couple of times a week. Sadly, you have to pick your battles, sometimes the person with dementia will get agitated or aggressive if pressed too hard to do all the things they used to do. Good luck with this.

Alie

Hi. I'm new to Alzconnected, so I hope I'm replying correctly.  My DH and I have similar challenges.  He also wears depends, but still uses the bathroom also.  We've tried some of the things others have mentioned.  Being as light hearted as possible helps.  Desitin and A & D ointment solved some problems. He accepted the explanation that it will make his skin feel better.  My DH has visual issues.  Things he sees don't always make sense to him.  He confuses the sink and the toilet.  I've tried to mark the toilet to identify it, but what I've tried hasn't helped. I've put colorful paper on the underside of the toilet lid and leave it up.  It didn't help him identify it.  I've also tried putting blue painters tape around the toilet bowl, but it gets wet and comes off.  At night I turn the bathroom light on all night so that it's easier to find and that has helped.  If there are any ideas on what would stick on the toilet bowl please let me know.

Battlebuddy

You can get a little motion sensitive light from Amazon that hooks over the toilet bowl. It lights up pretty colors and can help “ land the plane” on the toilet. My husband back in the day said” it’s like Christmas in the bathroom” lol. It worked for a while

Spanky77

I bought night lights for all the rooms. He seems to ‘go’ better at night, but wow, it is hard to learn what works for each of us.

Doityourselfer

Spanky77,  

In my experience with my husband there is nothing that stops the progression of  AD.  His urinary incontinence began over 2 years ago where he had occasional leaks, sat on the toilet to urinate, turned on bathroom light all night in case he got up, started wearing depends.  Fecal incontinence began one year ago.  He usually gives me a hard time when it's time to change his depends. He hasn't developed any rash yet.   He is in the severe stage of AD.

I brush his teeth when he allows me to, hasn't flossed in a long time.  I give him an apple a day thinking that it may help clean his teeth, as well as raw carrots.  I shave his face daily with a cordless shaver.

Just do the best you can.