How to fly with my DH

Sligo177

My DH was diagnosed summer of 2020 with probable Alzheimer's - not clear cut, has some outlying symptoms which don't necessarily go with it. He's not very strong and has knee pain which sometimes is fine, other times he is bothered quite a bit.  Losing memories of friends and some family, and word recall difficulties.

Anyway, I want to visit my son who lives in the south, about 2 1/2 hour flight to a busy airport in Atlanta. Those plane trains are so fast, God knows how we'll handle that!  My son has come back to see us, but I want to see him there, and show my son how important he is to us and that we are willing to make this trip.

He can't walk all that far, I never know if he will be fine with walking or all of a sudden says he cannot.  So, wheelchair probably.  I guess I get one at the airports?  Anyone who flies with LO who can give me any advice on how to complete this mission?  I just want to do it before it's not possible anymore. Also thinking of doing an air b&b there.

Love to you all.  Have a good day.

Cynbar

Most (if not all) airlines will provide an escort with a wheelchair while in the airport. You call and arrange this is advance with the airline --- there is no charge although a tip is expected. This person will be waiting for you at the end of the gangway when your plane arrives. For departure  you give your name either at the check-in desk or to a roving representative when you arrive. I have used this service for my DH and been very pleased.

However, please be aware that travel with a person with dementia can be quite challenging. Many PWD function better at home, with familiar surroundings and their regular routine, than they do in a strange environment. The use of airplane and airport bathrooms can be upsetting to them and difficult to pull off. Just keep that in mind as you plan your trip --- it will likely be more complicated than you are expecting.

piozam13

Yes, you can arrange assistance as Cynbar mentioned.  The other preparation I made was talk to his doctor about the trip.  He prescribed medication prior to flying - but this was for some 20 hour overseas trip.  DH was used long plane rides as we travelled  often but when I noticed changes in his behavior,  I sought advice from his doctor.

Rescue mom

Many people here have used the escort/wheelchair service. The airline helped set that up, or handle the whole thing. Call the airline and ask about their special program/services for dementia passengers. Lots of people said it was great, but must be arranged in advance.

I have to tell you that I hear from friends who’ve flown in the last couple months (many seasonal/retired folks arriving now) that these wheelchair etc. services are not as available/dependable, as they were pre-COVID..  Also, many airport food places are not open.  I’m flying myself soon, so have been asking.

Airlines/airports are super-strict about masks, worn properly and constantly, hopefully that’s not a problem for him

Any chance you can get someone else to fly with you? Another set of eyes and hands makes a huge difference. 

Like Cynbar said, my DH got very agitated, unhappy and confused in airport crowds even before COVID. Being in a rush, or hurry, was impossible for him, but even going on around him was distressing. Him using the bathroom was a near-disaster, only “the kindness of some strangers” prevented some major problems. Plan on things taking much longer that you expect.

A direct flight is well worth any extra money it might cost. You really don’t want to have to deal with changing planes in yet another airport.

I’m sure your son appreciates you are willing to go see him, and  travel can be very difficult for anyone with Alzheimer’s and their caregiver. He knows you love him regardless!

Some people prefer air b&bs with a PWD; we tried them both but I found the extra help hotel staff could provide quickly, and on site, for unexpected things/needs etc., was invaluable. Hotel staff was always there to help, which was not the case with air bbs, in my experience.

Sligo177

Thank you Cynbar!  This info is very, very helpful.  I need to really think about this, also because things can change with DH between now and February...

Sligo177

Thank you everyone for the advice!  I appreciate it and it will help me make a decision.

Joe C.

Silgo, Along with what the other have suggested the TSA has a program called TSA Cares, you can google it. It allows you to contact TSA in advance and let them know you are traveling with a person with a disability, they will have a dedicated TSA agent escort you through the security process and make sure you do not get separate. I Traveled quite a bit with DW during early/mid stage AD and I found this program a great help when navigating airport screening. 

The other thing you need to be careful of is using the restroom at the airport. If your airport does not have family friendly restrooms you must be real careful of sending your husband into the restroom alone especially if there is more than one exit. Another caution is leaving your husband alone while you use the restroom. You may want to have a tracking device or a cell phone you can track on your husband just in case.

Gig Harbor

Maybe offer to buy your son’s ticket so he can visit you. He will know how much you want to see him but I am sure he will understand how hard the travel will be for you.

Cinsababe

I just flew with my husband  who is in the early to mid stages of dementia last month to a family reunion.  When you buy your tickets you can designate the passenger as needing assistance and you definitely want to do this.  Then when you arrive at the airport you should immediately let them know your ticket is designated as needing assistance.  Our airport had a special waiting area for wheelchairs and that part when smoothly.  Be sure to leave plenty of time.  As soon as our assistant came I let them know, quietly of course, that my husband has dementia.  I also let the TSA agent know.  He does not follow directions well especially in unfamiliar surroundings.  Them knowing helped them talk slowly and be more patient with him.  Also, the assistant stayed with him while I used the restroom. We rented a VRBO condo instead of a motel because he did terrible at a motel earlier this year.  It went very well.  The home like environment with a living room and kitchen suited him and it wasn't much more money than a hotel. But even with that, he never does great away from home and it takes several weeks to recover from a trip.

Cherjer

Hi Sligo...I can give you an updated message as I just traveled with my husband who was diagnosed with AD over 6 years ago...and would say he is in mid 6 stage...we had a sibling reunion in UP Michigan with my 5 sibs and spouses...cancelled during Covid...it took a lot of planning on my part but wanted to make this happen. We live in CA and had to fly to Minneapolis then a long drive to Marquette, MI. I contacted TSA Cares and arranged everything  coming and going. Our airport in Orange County was amazing...even though we left very early in the morning and could have handled anything happening, However the flight back from Minneapolis was not great as TSA did not even know what was going on!! I know the airport well so could get to our gate just fine...they do have family bathrooms at the airports which are  great...and even when we are traveling at different sites..family bathrooms! In my opinion you should go on this trip now...later on when things start changing your son can come visit you. Do what you can now and just plan! We did a lot of traveling early in my husbands diagnosis,,,, Vietnam, Cambodia etc. Now he does not remember what he had for dinner! Some times it is more about you than him but as long as he is healthy and cooperative I would take the trip...i think you said only two hours. Go for it!!