AL vs. MC When to know the difference

bozowing

My father is 93 in at mid stage dementia.  He is quite physically capable and still has decent memory.  He does not wonder (yet), but lives alone in our 60+ year old house (super stubborn to leave).  He can no safely drive and that is his major bitch, no independence.  He periodically get nasty tempered and can be down right mean.  Prescription management will be a must.

He does have bowel incontinence almost daily, so taking hi out to eat or just out can be an adventure.  I think he would be suited for AL, but talking awhile with local senior facilities based on aforementioned, they believe he's read for MC.  I disagree cause he's still pretty competent and aware and very stubborn.  And at times fools me to think he's all right with sound conversations.

How do you know what is the right choice?  Either way, this won't be a volunteer move, guardianship court date is next month.

dayn2nite2

The incontinence alone would rule him out for most AL.

Quilting brings calm

As day2 wrote, the incontinence will be a deciding factor.  When I placed my parent into assisted living, the manager stated that they do not change diapers.  They will help with showers twice a week. They do help some residents dress  that are physically unable. 

The fact that you have to obtain guardianship of him to place him would also identify him as an escape risk. Although most ALs have call pendants that sound when the residents leaves,  they are not locked in and can leave the facility at any time.  

harshedbuzz

bozowing-

The incontinence is a deal breaker for AL. Residents of AL are generally left to their own devices and expected to get to meals and activities without being prompted as well as requesting assistance as needed. If you got them to trial AL, he might have a soiled Depends for as long as 12 hours which would be hard on his 93 year old skin. And if he's unfiltered in his behavior and wearing soiled Depends among the other residents, he will quickly become a pariah. If he didn't have dementia, he might be a candidate for "personal care" in my area which is a kind of MCF level of care without the dementia piece. When my aunt was initially in MC, her demeanor and social skills convinced staff at her CCRC to include her with the PC residents for outings, activities and meals. Perhaps you can find a facility that would be flexible in accommodating him in this way.

That said, if you expect that you will prevail in obtaining guardianship through the courts, he is an appropriate candidate for MC.

HB

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Stuck in the middle

bozowing wrote:

My father is 93 in at mid stage dementia.  He is quite physically capable and still has decent memory.  He does not wonder (yet), but lives alone in our 60+ year old house (super stubborn to leave).  He can no safely drive and that is his major bitch, no independence.  He periodically get nasty tempered and can be down right mean.  Prescription management will be a must.

He does have bowel incontinence almost daily, so taking hi out to eat or just out can be an adventure.  I think he would be suited for AL, but talking awhile with local senior facilities based on aforementioned, they believe he's read for MC.  I disagree cause he's still pretty competent and aware and very stubborn.  And at times fools me to think he's all right with sound conversations.

How do you know what is the right choice?  Either way, this won't be a volunteer move, guardianship court date is next month.

Sounds like MC to me, if you mean someone else must manage his meds.

bozowing

Thank you everyone, I knew deep inside my smart stomach says MC.  I've contacted my Mom and told her it's time we start the process.

Stellar Daughter-In-Law

Remember that not all MC units are the same.  Hopefully you live somewhere that he has a wide choice of options to choose from.  We toured some MC units where the patients were mostly later stages and much further along than my father in law.  And others where people were much higher functioning.  I'd tour as many as you can.

We were in an extremely fortunate position financially. When we put him in MC, we could also afford a caregiver who took him out five days a week, engaged with him in his higher functioning activities, we took him to restaurants three times a week.  In some ways he was higher functioning than those around him and we got his higher functioning needs met.  In other ways he was not and we had those services cared for as well.  At first he was in an AL MC unit.  Then we moved him to a nursing home MC unit.  Again, he was much higher functioning in many ways and we provided extra services that would allow him to feel some modicum of independence.