Respite, what respite?

David J

To recap, I placed my wife in MCF for respite while I had minor surgery. The transition from home to memory care was smoother than I, or anyone from the facility, thought would be the case. Less than two weeks into the respite, 5 days after my procedure, my wife went into the hospital with a UTI and sepsis. She was weak, more confused, and became a fall risk. The infection was knocked down by IV antibiotics, they got her calmed down and PT got her walking. I visited every day. She was discharged ged after 7 days. 

I got a call from the MCF yesterday. She was exhibiting the same symptoms and they suspected another UTI. It was up to me to take her to the ER, which I did. After testing, they ruled out the UTI. After a PET scan, they ruled out a bleed, clot, or other trauma. After 8 hours, she was admitted to the hospital for a neuro work up. I followed the ambulance and got permission to go up to her room. I was able to tell the nurse a lot, but I couldn’t answer some questions because I am not with her 24 hours anymore. I felt a little distant from her day to day care. I got home at midnight, reheated pasta for dinner, and went to bed. Visiting hours aren’t until 2:00 and I don’t expect to know anything before then. 

I don’t really need replies, just knowing their are caring, understanding people out there helps. Thanks!

French

I hope you had good news today David. Thinking to you.

my2goldens

Thinking of you.

M1

David I am so sorry….. I know the stress of hospitalizations. Keep us posted when you can.

amicrazytoo

I'm sorry you are having to tackle this while still recuperating yourself. Please get as much rest as you can, while you can. You're a strong loving husband. Thoughts are with you. (((HUGS)))

jfkoc

please keep us updated when you can...

Ed1937

David, I'm sorry. You should have this time to recover, and not have to worry so much about her. We're here for you.

abc123

David, please try not to wear yourself out. I realize that may sound foolish, it's just because we all want you to have a proper and successful recovery. I'm sorry things aren't going as planned. Please keep us updated. I hope she is better very soon.

Jeff86

Thank you David for filling us in on what’s going on with your DW.  So sorry that this has largely proved to be the respite that wasn’t.  That said, you have learned a lot from the experience, including the critical determination that placement is the best choice for both your DW and you.  

We are thinking of you and your DW and hoping for the best.

Joydean

David, I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet wife and you your self! Prayers for both of you.

June45

"Respite, what respite?"  David, I was thinking the same thing after reading your posts.

dayn2nite2

I guess I'm confused as to why it's your responsibility to transport to the ER.  Is this the case for everything?  This would be a dealbreaker for me.  I place my LO for my peace of mind and any medical appointments or transport to the ER need to be done independent of me.

I would look into another facility.  If your LO is going to be one of the people who have lots of medical issues, this isn't going to work long-term.  You can't even leave town right now without worrying over whether you are needed to transport her somewhere.

Joe C.

David, Thinking of you & hoping both of you have a quick recovery from your medical issues.

David J

dayn2nite2-

The MCF policy is to notify the responsible party if the PWD needs to go to the hospital. The first time this happened, I was out of town and they called the ambulance and handled the follow through until I could get back to town. They did not send anyone to be with her in the ER, nor would I expect them to. They didn’t go to the hospital that night or afterward. They kept abreast of the situation by phone. 

This time, I was home when I got the call. They were prepared to call an ambulance like before, but I am 5 miles away from the MCF, and the branch Emergency Room and Clinic is in the same town. I told them I would take her to the ER. I would have gone there anyway, so why subject her to an ambulance ride?  I was also able to follow the ambulance to the hospital when she was admitted and make sure she got to her room and got settled. 

The MCF did not force me to take her. I chose to.