Visited a Memory Care

Gig Harbor

Today a friend and I visited a memory care to see their Day Stay. The first thing we noticed when we walked in was how warm and cozy it seemed. Lots of Halloween decorations had been put up and the staff was setting up for an Octoberfest in the dining room. We walked thru the two areas of care and everywhere the residents were out of their rooms and walking in the halls or in the dining rooms. A few had gone outside to the inner courtyard to walk in the fresh air. There were staff everywhere and they were talking to the residents. It had a very warm and safe feeling. When I got home my husband was with his companion eating lunch and talking. They had gone for a walk and he was ready to sit and watch TV. I honestly think he would be happy living full time at the facility. He would love all the people around him and he could walk around the halls and since his memory is almost nonexistent he wouldn’t get bored by the same things. I believe that if he was there for even a week he would have no recollection of our house. I am no where near ready to place him but it gave me a good feeling to know that if I had to he would do well there.

M1

Glad that it was a positive experience GH, that's got to have felt encouraging. I get intimidated even thinking about starting the process. I keep hoping I won't have to.

Jo C.

What a great visit, you must have been very heartwarmed and relieved by what you saw.  Sounds like an extraordinary place for Memory Care.

One thing you may want to do; as things progress, you may want to contact the facility and find out if they have openings or use a waiting list.  When I had found a preferred facility, I asked about that and they did indeed have quite a waiting list all of the time. Even though my LO was not ready for admission, I gave them a check for the admission fee and they put it in their file.

Some months later, an opening came up and they called me - still wasn't ready, so they simply took the next person on their list.  This continued for nearly a year and then finally, it sadly was time and we had the next open spot.

Thought I would mention it as a, "just in case" sort of thing.

And I so love Gig Harbor; been there multiple times, we spent a lot of time up there and even looked to buy property but then family issues arose in our parents and here we still are.

Best of wishes being sent your way, and I am delighted that you were able to find such a wonderful memory care center.

J.

Crushed

Jo C. wrote:

W. Even though my LO was not ready for admission, I gave them a check for the admission fee and they put it in their file.

Just for the record this is normally a very bad idea.  "storing " a check is a very bad idea

they can get cashed anytime , they can get forged .  they can go stale they can be stopped

A good place has a deposit escrow account.  

dayn2nite2

The day stay and the facility itself sound wonderful.  Some of my signals of a good facility are acknowledging seasons and days with decorations, activities during the week, and the biggest is when you walk in and staff are conversing with the residents.  It sounds wonderful.  

Definitely investigate what their waiting list looks like for the future and you may want to use this day stay as respite in case of caregiver issues in the future.

Jo C.

Should have explained my "check" comfort level more clearly.   It was a check for, "$700.

I had conducted most of my contacts/interactions with the woman who was the facility administrator.   She had our pending file in her own private desk - the check was placed into that file and there it stayed for all the time prior to my LOs admission.    I had been in visiting staff/admin. from time to time and saw the file myself as we updated information and there it was; in the Administrator's desk, check inside.  I wanted to keep a personal contact profile with the facility staff at intervals as it was so hard to gain a bed there as they were always pretty much full.

Anyway; do what makes yourself feel best; for how I conducted my business, personally, I was completely comfortable.  

J.

Crushed

FWIW no one in a business should be keeping an unrecorded  check in a private desk.

It's not about how You do your business it's about them .  Deposit checks reflect  institutional commitments . 

You say "They are usually full" but there is no record of your place in line

abc123

Dear Gig, thank you for telling us about this! I’m happy you found this place and I’m even happier to know that it exist! I also think my LO would do well in a facility like you described. She would like the people and the attention. 

Thanks again!

Beachfan

Dear Gig,

Sounds like you may be on to something good!  (I really like the term, “day stay”.) My favored MC facility was equally impressive upon first (and subsequent) visits.  Cozy and warm, staff busy and attentive, residents engaged with one another or with staff.  I have been researching facilities for 2 years now and, like you, was nowhere ready to place DH when I started the process.  The future is just over the horizon, it seems.  Placement is looming, more for my well being than for DH’s.  On Tuesday, I will call the director, yet again, and arrange for yet another visit.  My son and daughter-in-law and possibly my daughter will go along; extra eyes and ears although they’ve all been there before.  I will take along a “manifesto”, a summation of how I care for DH, his likes, strengths, needs, routine, idiosyncrasies, etc. as requested by the director.  She has already met DH.  From there, we will discuss a 30 day respite stay (my preference at this time), or set a permanent placement date.  In either case, prior to permanent placement, the director will visit our home (44 miles, one way) to better understand DH and how we function.  

I don’t think I can do any more thorough research; we have reached decision time.  I feel like I am at peace with whatever we decide.  My biggest reservation concerns our 6 year old granddaughter, who has only known her “pop” with Alz.  She lives right up the driveway and we see her every day without fail.  DH doesn’t know her from a sack of potatoes, but she loves him unconditionally, brings him treats, tries to snuggle with him and cares for him with such tenderness, it breaks my heart.  She’s an old soul in her 6 year old body.  

I hope your investigative MC visits are fruitful and bring you peace.  It doesn’t get any easier, but knowing there’s some hope at journey’s end is comforting.  I will be thinking of you.  

Gig Harbor

Thank you Beachfan. It is comforting to find someplace where you know they will fit in. Moving in a bit before it is desperately needed would give them more of a chance to enjoy their surroundings. I will keep him at home until it starts to impact me because in my heart I know he will do OK. My grandkids are starting to forget what he was like when he would talk to them and play games with them. Thinking back the last year he was normal was 2010 and my grandson was 3 so he really has only known him with dementia. So sad.