Sometimes things go very quickly downhill

GA-Mom

My DH passed on September 28th from ALZ, more specifically, aspiration pneumonia and AFIB. He had been in memory care only 2 months when they found him lying on his bed, unable to talk or swallow or walk. They called 911. He had had an AFIB episode that left him with only 45% capacity in his heart, which meant little blood getting to major organs, especially kidneys. The doctor recommended comfort care (hospice), since he was DNR, and I agreed. He lasted a few days, but never woke up. Our daughters were with me and we got to say goodbye, even if he wasn't responsive. I like to think he heard us, even in his damaged brain.

Before this episode, he had been talking some and walking and eating. But this just pushed him over the edge. 

So we've had the funeral and now I learn to live as a widow. I already felt I had been doing everything already for many years. He was first diagnosed in November 2016, but he showed signs in 2013. So, about 8 years. The last couple were the hardest. 

It is a blessing for both of us. I never had to puree foods, feed him, or deal with diapers.  He never tried calling me from MC, because he had stopped using a phone months before, plus he always lost it in the house. I miss the person I married, and I have our good memories and our wonderful daughters and grandchildren. 

I appreciate this forum for all that I learned and shared these past few years. It was definitely helpful. Best of luck to everyone. 

amicrazytoo

Sorry for your loss, but glad you have many good memories. may you have peace and feel comfort in the days ahead.

Joe C.

My condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

Ed1937

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a good outlook, and I'm glad about that. We wish you strength and healing in the coming days.

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry for your loss.  I wish you joy, happiness, and contentment for what people refer to as stage 8.

sandwichone123

Thank you for this update. I am sorry for your losses, and I appreciate this picture of how things may end.

M1

I add my condolences also.  Glad you were able to be with him.

abc123

I’m very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I hope you will have peace and your good memories will carry you through the hard times.

June45

GA-Mom, I am sorry for your loss. It does indeed sound like a blessing that your husband didn't have to go through the dreaded stage 7.  Hope the good memories will carry you through as you learn to live as a widow.

Jeff86

Deepest condolences to you on the passing of your DH.  May the weeks and months ahead bring you peace and rest.

Doityourselfer

I'm sorry for your loss.

David J

Condolences on the loss of your husband. I hope the memories of the good times sustain you in the coming months.

LadyTexan

Dear GA Mom.

I am sorry for your loss. You have been strong and courageous on this long journey. Please take care of yourself. May God comfort you and bring you peace. 

-LT

Jo C.

No matter how we try to prepare ourselves for such a loss; it is almost always a heartbreaking situation.   You have been a loyal, loving wife and carer for your dear husband for so many years; your love and care while he was both at home and after placement has been stalwart.

My warmest thoughts are being sent to you with hopes that peace and serenity in knowing what a valiant job of caring for your husband that you have done will come soon and be of comfort.

If you have time and feel up to it, let us know how you are doing; we will be thinking of you.

 J.

Beachfan

Dear GA-Mom,

I am sorry to learn of your loss.  I remember your postings well.  You were always gracious, whether asking for, or offering advice. Clearly, you were a loving, caring support to your DH right up to the end.  Focus now on your good memories and lean on your giving family for support.   Bless you.  

Sligo177

GA-Mom -

I, too, am so sorry you lost your DH, and for all that you have been through.  Thank you very much for sharing this with others.  I wish you peace and happier days. 

Buggsroo

GA mom,

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. I am hoping for peace and calm in your life.

Joydean

GA mom.   Sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your family and grant peace to all.

Mint

GA-Mom I am so sorry for your loss.

anneleigh

My condolences to you GA-Mom.  Prayers for you during this difficult time~

my2goldens

So very sorry for your loss. Hugs.

ButterflyWings

(((GA-mom))) Sending you sincere condolences on the loss of your DH. May you have all the time and support you need to grieve and adjust further in this new phase of life. Wishing you well, and a future that you can enjoy after so much time as a devoted caregiver.