smoking. How do you all deal with it. I am

ladypeewee

running out of ideals. Peewee (My Husband) Smokes so much more now than he ever has before. It's because he can't remember when he put the last one out. What he don't smoke himself he gives away. Has anyone's loved one just forgot that he or she is a smoker and just quit?

Paris20

Lady Peewee, my husband hasn’t smoked for many years. However, he takes medication for elevated blood sugar yet he consumes countless Ensure chocolate puddings every day. I’m at my wits’ end because he insists that he has only one a day. If I hide them, he’ll explode. His doctor recommended Ensure after my husband lost a great deal of weight but now his weight has stabilized. It’s his sweet tooth that’s out of control. The problem with smoking reminded me of my husband’s incessant pudding binges. I’m going to stop buying it. Not buying cigarettes would be a bigger problem.

LadyTexan

Hi Lady PeeWee.

My husband is a smoker and his smoking has increased also. He forgets that he has smoked recently and will want to light up again. At first I thought I was imagining this.

DH has impaired motor skills so I start his cigarettes for him. It seems as if I am starting up cigarettes all day long. I finally started telling him "you just smoked". His replies thus far have been "I did? I don't remember." 

Now that I realize he doesn't remember, I want to try pushing the narrative more often so that he will be smoking less frequently. I don't like the idea of fibbing to him (unless it is an act of kindness). Cigarettes here are now $83 a carton. It would be nice to use that money on something else. 

I have heard of one instance where a PWD forgot that they smoked.

ladypeewee

Lady Texan Thanks for your reply.

I try telling him that he just put one out. His reply is I will start writing them down when I put one out. We try that and he writes down 4 or 5 then forget to write them and swears up and down that he has only smoked 4 or 5 all day.

ladypeewee

Paris 20 thanks for your reply.

My Peewee don't have any other health problems. However he don't want to eat anything other then sweets because when he eats something he wants to smoke. I Now roll his cigs because we can't afford to buy them by the pack. I quit over a year ago. but now I seem to spend as much just for him to smoke as I was for both of us to smoke. I also just recently retired and only worked 2 days a week so I can be home with him the rest of the time.

Whyzit

Have you considered giving him hard sugar free candy to suck on? It would certainly be a lot cheaper. (1$ a bag at dollar tree), it has worked with my DH.

Iris L.

There are sugar-free pudding cups.  I eat them.

Iris

JDancer

When I quit smoking, decades ago, I used cinnamon sticks. I held them in my mouth and hands like a cigarette. It helped me break the habit. I don't know if that's an option for your loved ones.

Jeff86

My DW quit smoking many years ago, but she always enjoyed a glass or two of wine.  Early in our AD journey she began drinking more—self medicating, I believe, when she could understand what was going on.  It got bad enough that I used to water down the wine to limit the alcohol consumption rather than saying no as the wine police.

But fast forward, and she has forgotten about drinking.  Never does at home—even if she sees me having a glass of wine, it somehow doesn’t occur to her to want one.  If we are out at a restaurant—not happening a lot these days—and I order a glass of wine for her, she doesn’t finish it.

So forgetting old long-standing habits can happen.  Just my experience.  YMMV .

60 falcon

I know what you are going through.  My wife and I both smoke.  About a year ago she was as you described.  Not remembering that we just had a cigarette and wanting another.  We don't smoke in the house and believe me, that was a real hassle when it was -25 in the winter!  So frustrating and expensive.

Now she's to the point that smoking isn't very important to her.  She hasn't been able to light them for a long time, and now she forgets how to even hold them. She'd burn her lips if I wasn't really watching her.  I think she'd be able to quit easily if I didn't still smoke.  It's my only real vice and stress reliever.  I've read here that other's LOs have simply forgotten about it.

The suggestions given to you are all good.  I've done the cinnamon sticks one myself.

Buggsroo

Lady peewee,

I get where you are coming from. My husband eats bowl after bowl of ice cream. If I comment, he gets very angry and aggressive. I sort of had an epiphany reading the posts here. I realize he does not remember that he has had a number of bowls beforehand.

The thing is that he had prostate cancer around ten years ago and received radiation for it. That means he has had digestive problems leading to fecal accidents. So if he eats a lot of ice cream, I will be cleaning up for sure. 

I appreciate this forum, I used to get angry, now I realize he has forgotten that he has eaten. Now I will just chill and get out the javex cleaner and gloves.

amicrazytoo

I have been hoping that my DH would forget to smoke too!  That is apparently how he stopped drinking. My DH is smoking way more than he used to, he has literally gone through an entire carton in less than two days. They are so expensive, we can't afford to keep going like this.  What I have discovered is I give him 2 packs per day, it slows him down. When I give him free reign of a carton, he will sit there and light up one right after the other. He can not follow anything on TV, has no hobbies, smoking is his way of passing the day.  He actually broke off two complete "down to the root fingernails" trying to light his cigarettes. Now that the nails are gone, I'm guessing it make it easier to light them. I have tried to convince him to try a vape, but he won't have anything to do with that. Yes, I know I could just no longer buy them for him, but that's a fight I don't want to tackle.

harshedbuzz

In your shoes I would take steps to stop the smoking. It's not safe and it's not healthy for you. And the money? Yikes!

My late sister smoked until the end of her life. When her AIDS became late stage, she developed dementia and smoking became dangerous. I would say she was midstage dementia when she died. OMG, she lit her bedding on fire while in the hospital. Had she been home she might have burned to death.

I might speak to his PCP about strategies to help him stop smoking as painlessly as possible. Zyban (another name for Wellbutrin but prescribed for smoking) might help cut the craving. Prescription nicotine patches are another option. There are also OTC gums and lozenges that can be used. 

My dad quit smoking the week my sister died. As he time traveled in the later stages of dementia he had cravings for cigarettes regularly. He forgot he didn't smoke.

Lorita

Yes, Ladypeewee - it happened with both my mother and husband.  Charles had smoked since he was 14 or 15 - cigarettes, cigars and pipes.  He tried to stop and could for short periods of time but always went back.  Probably a year or so before he passed away, he just quit - like he had forgotten he ever smoked, however, he continued to carry around cigarette lighters in his pocket but never mentioned smoking again.  He was 84 when he passed away.

 My mother had smoked for years, not a lot, but steadily.  After she went into a NH she smoked for a short time, then just forgot about it.  So, it does happen.  It can happen.

ladypeewee

Thanks everyone for your advice. PeeWee has tried the patches, The gum, lozenges, he has tried the E Cigarette, and Vaping . He doesn't smoke in the house. I quit cold turkey over a year ago. However his Cigarette bill has doubled since I quit. His Doctor said just let him do what makes him happy.

amicrazytoo

Peewee - the 2 packs a day is not going smoothly, as I had hoped. I just reached out to my daughter to find out what is the cheapest non menthol cigarettes out there. (Her husband smokes.)  She gave me a couple of off brands, which I think I will switch out on DH, in hopes he doesn't notice. I truly believe he is smoking more from boredom than habit while I am at work. He doesn't smoke as much while I am at home. 

Jo C.

Just a bit of input - this is an old Thread from several years ago . . . 2021.

It may well continue with current Posts, but just so everyone is aware . . . .

J.