DW is slip-sliding away

Jeff86

AD is a one way road, and it seems like the road is dipping down.

DW is now sleeping 14-15 hours overnight; sometimes, she is awake but not wanting to rise from bed in the last hour or two.  And sleeping, sitting up, for several hours during the day.

She has lost weight.  Recently, I found her engagement ring on the bathroom floor.  I believe it fell off because it’s now too loose on her finger.

Talk about symbolism!

Her gait, too, has become more shaky.

In addition to these manifestations of physical decline, things are changing cognitively, too.  The most painful of these is the increasing frequency with which DW doesn’t recognize me.  Not the way it’s been in the past, where she may not know my name or that I’m her husband but still recognizes me as a familiar and friendly face—now it is without the foggiest idea that she has ever seen me before in her whole life.

But not all the time, or even most of the time.  It’s like a lamp with a short in it.  Sometimes it works fine, giving a steady light.  Sometimes it’s out; total darkness.  And sometimes it flickers, back and forth.  

We have been in late stage 6 for some time now.  I’m anticipatory, to say the least, about what’s to come.

Battlebuddy

I’m so sorry Jeff.  It sounds to me like you are rounding the turn toward Hospice. It might not hurt to give them a call and have them come out and do an evaluation.

M1

Jeff you have taken amazing care of her. I am so, so sorry. I know about the flickering recognition. 

Peace to you both.

Lynne D

Jeff86,

My heart is breaking for you. On behalf of those of us who are a little behind you, thank you for sharing.

Buggsroo

Jeff this is so poignant and sad. Sometimes I see the flicker in my husband’s eyes, he knows who I am, but has forgotten so much else. This disease is so sad.

my2goldens

so very very sorry.

LadyTexan

Dear Jeff.

I am so sorry. Knowing that that this is a one way road does not eliminate the heartbreak and pain along the way. My prayers are with you. May God watch over you both and comfort you both.

Peace be with you.

David J

Jeff, I feel your pain. Literally. I visited my wife in the hospital today, and she didn't seem to know me. Not even as a familiar face. Yesterday, her wedding band, which had been tightly on her finger and not removable, pulled right off in my hand. I have a little jewelry bag with her engagement ring, a diamond ring I commissioned for our 40th anniversary, and now the wedding band. She doesn’t miss any of them. 

I am sorry for both of us, Jeff. Wishing you all the best!

Dave

Joydean

Jeff, so sorry to hear about your wife. May God wrap His arms around you and your wife.

Joydean

Jeff, it’s sad to hear about your wife. I pray God will wrap His arms around you and your wife, give you both peace.

Joe C.

Jeff, I so sorry to hear of your wife’s recent decline. Although we’re not at this point yet I know it is not far away. When I returned from my recent 8 day respite trip DW was happy to see me but when I ask my stepdaughter and caregiver who stayed with DW if she asked for me while I was away both had the same reply, “Not really”.

abc123

I'm so sorry to hear this. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers.

Beachfan

Jeff,

I am sorry to hear of your DW’s decline; your story could be my story.  Inevitable, but so sad.  I am making arrangements for a 30 day respite at a MC facility for my DH, anticipating eventual permanent placement.  My daughter in law, when I asked her if she and my son wanted to go along for a final inspection, started to cry.  She said, “We will go along, we support you fully.  Forgive me for what I’m about to say, but DH is gone, he’s been gone for a long time.  We want you back.”  She verbalized what I have been thinking for awhile now.  Bless you; stay strong. 

M1

Oh Beachfan, that breaks my heart all over again.

We are on a downhill slope here too.  Had the very first episode yesterday of her not recognizing me.  It lasted just seconds, but unsettling nonetheless.  Today there was another fall (fortunately with only minor cuts), more confusion, insisting the TV remote was a telephone and why wouldn't it work.  Told me tonight she hated her life and refused dinner.  I'm absolutely convinced that that's how she will go when she starts refusing to eat.  Or one of these falls is going to result in severe injury that she won't come back from.