I feel like I am loosing my MIND -- Husband Undiagnosed

Overit Wife

Since 2013, husband has been diagnosed with Cognitive Disorder NOS, following a period of time on life support due to septic infection and AFib.  Since that diagnosis he suffered a massive heart attack ("the widow maker") and had 3 stents placed.  The past 2 years have been difficult at best, this past couple of weeks have been in tears more times than not.  

I am overly frustrated and has been causing me stress and additional health issues.  I have had UTI/Kidney infections, cold sores popping up and pimples.  I have started therapy for myself in dealing with this and other family issues.  This by far is the most stressful.  I have been keeping notes of his behaviors and aggresive behaviors.  I have talked to his GP-PAC and he tested husband's testosterone, but that was in "normal range"  husband say that he was told he is fine and there is nothing wrong with him because "john" says.

He does not understand that it takes more than just that ONE darn* test .... right now he is fixated that he needs to get hearing aids.  I am so frustrated that I want a divorce... I no longer want to play this game, I do not have the strength to deal with all of this verbal abuse, I was raised in a house with it and I just cry everytime, as I feel like I am failing at life..... HELP.

Cinsababe

My heart hurts just reading this and I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I just had to stop and pray for your situation--it sounds so familiar!  My husband was diagnosed with dementia last fall but his behavior has been aggressive, angry, insulting and abusive more than anything else. All the while declaring nothing is wrong.  He too insisted on new $6,000 hearing aids.  But the tests the audiologists gave showed that hearing wasn't the problem, his brain was no longer processing language. I wrote a letter to the neurologist before his last appointment with all the changes in his behavior and the results of his hearing tests.  The neuro and psychiatrist asked him lots of questions and changed his diagnosis to probable bvFTD which very much fits my husband. They started him on some behavior control medications and we are going to a specialty clinic in December which he is not happy about, but at least I feel something is being done to help me.  I sure hope you can find the answers and help you need.  This is such a difficult journey!

June45

Overit Wife and Cinsababe, I don't have a husband who is verbally abusive, aggressive, or angry.  So I can only imagine how much worse this journey is for you. But I know if I had to travel the road you are on, and it couldn't be controlled by Rx, I wouldn't survive.  Hugs to both of you and all others who deal with this behavior.

abc123

Sometimes the only answer is proper medication. There are only a couple of doctors with the knowledge to prescribe the right meds, one is a geriatric psychiatrist. Hopefully others will chime in who have experience with this. I do know that the right medications can greatly improve the PWD's quality of life and the caregivers too! I'm really sorry things are so bad for you. Do what you must to protect yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. There are many people here with a lot of experience and they can help you. Please let us know how you are doing.

M1

Overit wife, you might consider calling the free, 24-hr Alzheimer's Assocation help line, 1-800-272-3900.  Ask to speak to a care consultant.  They may be able help you strategize.  Good luck.

Iris L.

Overit Wife wrote:

"  husband say that he was told he is fine and there is nothing wrong with him because "john" says.

He does not understand that it takes more than just that ONE darn* test .... 

Welcome.  This is anosognosia.  PWDs (people with dementia) truly believe they are fine and see no need for doctors, tests or changes in routine.  If you try to convince them otherwise, they will resist and become upset.  So do not do this.  This is not denial.  They are unaware and do not understand what is happening to them.  You must learn as much as you can and learn work-arounds from the members.  Please read about anosognosia.  Best wishes.

Iris L.

Iris L.

Overit Wife wrote:

Since 2013, husband has been diagnosed with Cognitive Disorder NOS, following a period of time on life support due to septic infection and AFib.  Since that diagnosis he suffered a massive heart attack ("the widow maker") and had 3 stents placed.  

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Cognitive disorder does not yet reach the level of dementia.  Patients are independent in ADLs.  NOS, not otherwise specified, means the impairment is due to some other medical condition besides the usual of Alzheimer's Disease, FTD, Lewy Body Dementia, or Vascular Dementia.  If one of these is diagnosed or apparent, it is no longer NOS.  Cognitive Impairment implies progression. 

My own diagnosis remains cognitive impairment nos since 2009.  I have several possible etiologies, such as systemic lupus, antiphospholipid syndrome, sleep apnea or hypertension.  I do not have Alzheimer's Disease.

Since this patient has severe cardiovascular disease, I suspect his impairments might be of vascular origin.  Having a more specific diagnosis can help in understanding the prognosis because the progression can be different from the progression of AD, being more often step-wise and episodic.  Attention to cardiovascular factors and treatments is important.  

Iris

Gig Harbor

Maybe the doctor could get him meds for his aggressiveness and tell him that he has a hearing problem that the pills will help. Tell him the nerves going to his ears are swollen and that is causing his hearing issues and that hearing sids won’t help.

Sligo177

Overit Wife,

You are not a failure at like.  You have been given a really hard task, and you are doing the best you can.  I pray that someone in your family, medical team or the Alzheimer's Chapter near you can help.  Reach out if you can.  It's so hard to handle this all by yourself. Prayers to you and please keep us posted.