If I Die First

ElCy

My husband is in the early stages and we have completed our legal work. However, my husband has no family and no friends. I have a brother and nephew 3000 miles away whom my husband has never liked. While my nephew can be the Special Needs Trustee, he cannot be the advocate.

If I die first DH will have no one to help or make health care decisions for him. I know there may be professionals who can be hired by a Google search proved fruitless.

harshedbuzz

I have a friend who is a paralegal. Her boss acts on the behalf of a number of clients in this capacity- PWD and those with intellectual impairment whose parents have passed. If you've seen a CELA for estate planning, perhaps that person can loop you in around who does this locally.

Joydean

This is one of my fears. We have 3 grown children, but I just don’t want them to have to upset their lives. They all have very demanding jobs and children of their own. They come to visit when they can, but they are all over an hour away. I know in my heart dh would be taken care of and I’m certainly not the best caregiver, but I do it out of love and just want the best for him. He has been through so much and now this horrible disease! I know God is in control and is watching over all of His children!

Rescue mom

Many lawyers do this for clients who make arrangements in advance.

My state also has court-appointed guardians, for people who have dementia, or not competent, and have no family or no other person set up as caregiver. A judge will assign care to one of these. These guardians often do this for a living, and may have several “clients” to watch over. Occasionally—truly, not often—you hear about issues with certain guardians abusing finances. Of course, they all get paid, IME, for their services, often a percentage of whatever money is involved.

If it was me, I’d talk to a lawyer I knew and trusted about who or how to handle his care if I went first.

M1

I am in the same boat, if something happens to me my partner has no other family who could step in.  The CELA I consulted to change my will and POA was able to give me names of three different professional care managers to interview as backups.

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Pat6177

ElCy,

This is a major issue for me as well. My DH has some nephews that he has not maintained a relationship with. I have a good friend of mine that is our backup financial POA and medical POA. But I’m in the southwest and she is in the northeast. So I wanted someone in town here that could get things done. My elder law attorney gave me 3 names of care manager companies that are all a bit different. I have hired one of these firms so now my friend can call the care manager to take care of whatever needs to be done if I land in the hospital unexpectedly or die before DH.

Each company is different. One company wanted to be named both the medical and financial POA. The company that I went with was able to do both the financial and medical or would work with whomever you named as POA. They are also set up to do Property Management for clients that have in home care but can’t maintain the home themselves.

Did you google care managers? There is a professional association for them. Or try case management. I believe our county’s Council on Aging provides the names of care managers in the area. So that may be a resource if your county has a Council on Aging. And as someone else said, some lawyers will do this kind of work for clients as well.