So My Mom is not getting the Booster Shot

Istoppedescaping

HHello everyone, this COVID 19 is back. I just need to vent again. I don't have the final Say when it comes to my mother's care so she is not getting a booster shot. I am not happy about it. I am my Dad's primary caretaker and made sure he got it. Just wondering if anyone is going through this, where you want your LO to get the booster but another family member disagrees and has the final say. In other words puts up with a deranged, loud, unreasonable family member. That's it. God bless everyone and be safe out there.

DrinaJGB

I had no problem convincing DH to get the booster after he learned our SIL--who was fully vaccinated and 30-something with no co-morbidities-came down with covid and quarantined for 10 days---then developed a blood clot.

 SO, it was a done deal--we are now both triple vaxxed.

SusanB-dil

On the flip side of getting that booster, when my mom got her 2nd, she has not been able to shake on/off headaches almost every day.  Started the day after that 2nd, and has been on-going for at least 8-9 months. We don't know if it may be combination of her other meds, perhaps?  So, brother and I agree that she will not be getting that 3rd.  MIL had no issues, and not sure if same meds at all, or may just have ended up with individual differing responses.    (brother has our mom and POA/Meds, DH and I have MIL)

In any case - our families are not anti-vax, but I do understand if some don't get it due to this new mRNA delivery and possible effects, or don't go for the 3rd, as there could be other reasons.

dayn2nite2

Why do you need your mother to have this?  She has dementia.  No shot is going to help her with that.  It will progress.

You will only survive if you worry about what’s in your control.  If your mother’s care is in someone else’s hands, so be it.  Same as if that person is unhappy with your decisions for your father-tough.

In the context of dementia, getting 1 or more of this shot is trivial.  

SusanB-dil

I agree with dayn2nite2 to a point - but i know MIL is rather stable for now, and physically doing well. so - we get flu shots each year, and what it takes to keep her well otherwise.  But I also agree, that with this disease, that perhaps the booster is beside-the-point regardless.  I agree with 'just let it go'.

BassetHoundAnn

One of the advantages of giving the covid vax and booster to an LO with dementia, in addition to making it less likely that they will die in a horrible way, is that they will be less likely to contract covid and pass it on to their loved ones and other residents and health care workers in their home or care facility. That's a very good reason for getting the shots even for someone who is terminally ill. Covid is a highly transmissible disease with often fatal consequences--for young healthy people as well as older ones.  

My mom's MC is having a covid booster shot clinic next week and everyone is getting vaccinated, even residents at Stage 7. 

dayn2nite2

As it means in dementia, any chance they can die of something else without having to go into all the stages is a blessing.  To die of dementia in stage 7 is also a "horrible way."  No matter what you die from, you're still dead.  If a virus or infection or even cancer takes them sooner....be thankful.

To be upset because someone you don't have medical authority over isn't getting it is a waste of energy.  I'm sure OP has enough to worry about with the care of her own LO and unless he or she is willing to take it to court, just accept and move on.

mommyandme (m&m)

dayn2nite2 wrote:

As it means in dementia, any chance they can die of something else without having to go into all the stages is a blessing.  To die of dementia in stage 7 is also a "horrible way."  No matter what you die from, you're still dead.  If a virus or infection or even cancer takes them sooner....be thankful.

I have evolved to this frame of mind.  Being worried at every turn has probably cut some time off of my life.  I can be a much more peaceful caregiver now.  Well said dayn2nite2, thank you. 

John2.0.1

BassetHoundAnn wrote:

One of the advantages of giving the covid vax and booster to an LO with dementia, in addition to making it less likely that they will die in a horrible way, is that they will be less likely to contract covid and pass it on to their loved ones and other residents and health care workers in their home or care facility. That's a very good reason for getting the shots even for someone who is terminally ill. Covid is a highly transmissible disease with often fatal consequences--for young healthy people as well as older ones.  

My mom's MC is having a covid booster shot clinic next week and everyone is getting vaccinated, even residents at Stage 7. 

I agree. I've considered whether it makes sense for my mom, who currently exists in a miserable world of total not understanding and physical dependence on others, to get the booster when she can get it. I keep coming back to the fact that it's not just about her. If she catches Covid she can pass it on to others. While these vaccines are not 100% effective as we all know, I don't believe it's ethical to knowingly make it more likely that she could get it and then pass it on to others.

John2.0.1

By the way, my mom's MC at the assisted living is having a booster day coming up. The problem is that my mom has been in the hospital since July and is certain to miss the booster day even if she can ever return there.

I have a call in to the social worker a the hospital to ask about that and the flu shot. Mom is there for behavioral issues. I don't know why she could not get the booster and the flu shot at the hospital.I'm a bit surprised they haven't asked yet.

Because I am not strong enough alone to do the total lift that my mom needs if I am ever to get her in my car again for any appointment, it would be extremely difficult for me to take her myself to the pharmacy.

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John2.0.1

Victoria2020 wrote:

John- check if your Mom can get her shots at home, CVS had visiting nurses here

Thanks but right now her "home" is the geriatric psych unit at the hospital. She has been there since July. She will either be discharged to her assisted living/memory care or, more likely, a nursing home, when she's discharged. She has Parkinson's so she has dementia and almost no physical mobility.

I think my first option is to ask the hospital if vaccinations can be done there while she is still there.

BassetHoundAnn

John2.0.1 wrote:

By the way, my mom's MC at the assisted living is having a booster day coming up. The problem is that my mom has been in the hospital since July and is certain to miss the booster day even if she can ever return there.

I have a call in to the social worker a the hospital to ask about that and the flu shot. Mom is there for behavioral issues. I don't know why she could not get the booster and the flu shot at the hospital.I'm a bit surprised they haven't asked yet.

Because I am not strong enough alone to do the total lift that my mom needs if I am ever to get her in my car again for any appointment, it would be extremely difficult for me to take her myself to the pharmacy.

Do definitely talk to the social worker at the hospital about getting her a booster and a flu shot. You may also want to speak with someone in their pharmacy. My mom was recently in the hospital. Someone from the hospital pharmacy called me to ask my permission to give her a flu shot and I said heck yes. (At the time they weren't giving covid boosters.) But it never happened. I spoke with the social worker about it several times, brought it up numerous times with nurses on her floor. I was incredibly persistent because you know I didn't want to have to drag her to Walgreens. Each time I was told that shots are given at discharge and that's when she would get her flu shot. Never happened. It somehow fell through the cracks. So do be persistent and follow up with these people as many times as necessary. 

Istoppedescaping

TThanks everyone. It's nice to get different views on the booster shot for my mother. I agree what is the difference, she has no life right now and things will get worse. Plus it's true, I have no control over the say to get the booster. It's mainly my mental health that has deminiished with her disease, COVID, my family and now the holidays. I need to stop worrying and of course  with God's help. Thanks