I need help. My little bro has thought about suicide

lizziepooh

And I do not know how to fix this. My little bro thinks he is unworthy of love/honor. How do I fix him believing bullsh--? How does one fix someone believing things that are untrue?

What can I do? Please help! I am scared my brother may harm himself.

abc123

Lizzie, I’m really sorry to hear this. Is there anyway he would see a therapist or psychiatrist? Is he delusional? My younger brother is having problems and I don’t know how to help him either. I have called to see about having him committed for observation. I would have to be present during an episode and then call the city psychiatrist who works through the coroners office in his city. They would send two men with a police escort. I am afraid of how he would react to police presence during an episode. The psychiatrist did tell me to agree with my brother and tell him I believe him. My bro thinks he is under surveillance and his house/phone/car is bugged. He often thinks people are trying to poison him. He truly thinks this is happening. I’m afraid he may harm someone else at times. Try checking with your local mental hospital for guidance. Good luck Lizzie. Please let us know how he’s doing.

Mint

Lizziepooh I am so sorry.  As some one who has walked this road I know how scared you are.  The best thing would be care from a mental health expert.  For some people they feel so much stigma attached to this that you can’t get them to do it.   Could call  800 272 3900 and ask for care consultant.  They may be able to give you some better guidance.  If situation is causing him,  you or others to be unsafe would call police, explain situation and maybe they can get him to ER for an evaluation.  Thoughts and prayers with your family and him.

MimiMinder

Your post pulled on my heartstrings. I can only imagine how you would like to fix your brother's issues, but all you can do is offer support and love him unconditionally. My town has a mental health crisis intervention support team that sends an EMT and social worker, not police with sirens blaring. Possibly you could check with your/your brother's local police and see if they have any such services or reach out to the hotline below. I am thinking of you and sending love!

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. 

Learn more

800-273-8255

harshedbuzz

I would reach out to the National Suicide Hotline for emergency steps you can take. if he's on the verge of acting out, I would get him to the ER in your community that has a psychiatric practice/unit getting him via EMT if you can't do it any other way.

Realize that his reality is his reality. Calling it bullsh*t is not helpful- as with those who have dementia- enter their world and validate his feelings. It's OK to show him you love him, but you can't speak for the greater world. 

If he has a mental health provider, make sure they're looped in via a phone call. Make sure his meds are being taken as prescribed and that he's attending appointments. 

HB

Michael Ellenbogen

Does he have demntia or a norrmal person.

loveskitties

You do not "fix" anyone who has beliefs that are untrue.

If they have a mental disease or defect, they need to be seen by a medical professional for assessment and aid as required.

If there is no disease or defect, then they will need to make the choice on their own to seek assistance.  Feelings of low self esteem are not unusual and don't appear suddenly.  They have a rooted cause which a counselor may help to discover and offer assistance.  But it is still their choice unless they actually attempt suicide.  Only then can authorities be brought in to get them additional care and help.

lizziepooh

abc123 wrote:

Lizzie, I’m really sorry to hear this. Is there anyway he would see a therapist or psychiatrist? Is he delusional? My younger brother is having problems and I don’t know how to help him either. I have called to see about having him committed for observation. I would have to be present during an episode and then call the city psychiatrist who works through the coroners office in his city. They would send two men with a police escort. I am afraid of how he would react to police presence during an episode. The psychiatrist did tell me to agree with my brother and tell him I believe him. My bro thinks he is under surveillance and his house/phone/car is bugged. He often thinks people are trying to poison him. He truly thinks this is happening. I’m afraid he may harm someone else at times. Try checking with your local mental hospital for guidance. Good luck Lizzie. Please let us know how he’s doing.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Your hell is greater than my hell. I am so sorry that that is true.

lizziepooh

Sayra wrote:

Lizziepooh I am so sorry.  As some one who has walked this road I know how scared you are.  The best thing would be care from a mental health expert.  For some people they feel so much stigma attached to this that you can’t get them to do it.   Could call  800 272 3900 and ask for care consultant.  They may be able to give you some better guidance.  If situation is causing him,  you or others to be unsafe would call police, explain situation and maybe they can get him to ER for an evaluation.  Thoughts and prayers with your family and him.

Yeah but what happens in between the moments he is fine to where he wants to kill himself? How do I protect him then?

lizziepooh

MimiMinder wrote:

Your post pulled on my heartstrings. I can only imagine how you would like to fix your brother's issues, but all you can do is offer support and love him unconditionally. My town has a mental health crisis intervention support team that sends an EMT and social worker, not police with sirens blaring. Possibly you could check with your/your brother's local police and see if they have any such services or reach out to the hotline below. I am thinking of you and sending love!

 

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. 

Learn more

800-273-8255

Thank you.

lizziepooh

harshedbuzz wrote:

Calling it bullsh*t is not helpful- as with those who have dementia- enter their world and validate his feelings. It's OK to show him you love him, but you can't speak for the greater world. 

If his impression of himself is worse than reality, why wouldn't I do everything in my power to make him see that?

I get not being able to fix reality for someone with dementia but are you trying to say you should not expect to get mentally ill people to see reality?

Seems wrong to think that or expect that. You must mean something else, please clarify.

lizziepooh

Michael Ellenbogen wrote:

Does he have demntia or a norrmal person.

No dementia. As for normal or not, how normal is it to have a negative self image of yourself? I believe that is what my little bro suffers from most.

lizziepooh

loveskitties wrote:

You do not "fix" anyone who has beliefs that are untrue.

If they have a mental disease or defect, they need to be seen by a medical professional for assessment and aid as required.

If there is no disease or defect, then they will need to make the choice on their own to seek assistance.  Feelings of low self esteem are not unusual and don't appear suddenly.  They have a rooted cause which a counselor may help to discover and offer assistance.  But it is still their choice unless they actually attempt suicide.  Only then can authorities be brought in to get them additional care and help.

Yep. All of this is true.

What I ended up doing is asking my little brother what can I do. He said simply, "just call me once a week." 

So that is what I will do.

Laura4yoga

I am glad you are aware of his possible needs and taking steps to help! He is lucky to have you! Go with your gut! Please let him know he IS NOT ALONE AND THERE IS HOPE!! Many people needing guidance find it hard to talk about and reach out for help…lots of text lines and virtual help available now too may make him feel more comfortable than sitting in an office with provider! 

 https://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/publications/p02670.pdf

 NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE

(800) 273-8255

WEBSITE

24/7 free and confidential support for people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Not sure what state you are in but this is a Wisconsin link with mental health resources!

 http://www.mhawisconsin.org/90-Years

https://mhasheboygan.org/perch/resources/crisis-and-support-resources-2021.pdf

Resources for Immediate Response

Disaster Distress Helpline

Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746.The Disaster Distress Helpline (DDH) provides crisis counseling and support for anyone in the U.S. experiencing distress or other behavioral health concerns related to any natural or human-caused disaster, including public health emergencies. 

Crisis Text Line

Text MHA to 741741 and you’ll be connected to a trained Crisis Counselor. Crisis Text Line provides free, text-based support 24/7.

The Trevor Project

Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678. A national 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth.

Dial 2-1-1

If you need assistance finding food, paying for housing bills, accessing free childcare, or other essential services, visit 211.org or dial 211 to speak to someone who can help. Run by the United Way.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-7233 for TTY, or if you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522.

Michael Ellenbogen

IIf that is the  case  I would  find someone  who had similar issues from  a support group  and see if you  can get that person to speak to them. There must be many out there  and with technology today it does not matter were the are.

Jo C.

The first Post:  "And I do not know how to fix this. My little bro thinks he is unworthy of love/honor. How do I fix him believing bullsh--? How does one fix someone believing things that are untrue? . . . . What can I do? Please help! I am scared my brother may harm himself"

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Lizzie, I see that you state you are scared he "may" harm himself.  Has your brother expressed to you suicide intention or not wanting to live any longer?   If so, that is a dynamic needing immediate attention with care by professionals.   Knowing your brother, it is good to listen to your gut feelings and instincts.

If he has not expressed suicidal thoughts or not wanting to live;  but if he is however, deeply depressed and troubled then getting him to professional support such as counseling could be very helpful.  Did he state or do you know specifically why he feels unworthy? 

I wonder if he has had any substance abuse problems with drugs or alcohol, or lifestyle issues of any sort, or an earlier history of having been abused, etc.  The "why's" if concrete ones exist, can give one a point at which to know where to look for adequate care and adequate counseling support to find relief for him and helping him to a much better quality of life.

So hope he will find that helping hand up to bring light back into his life.

J.

lizziepooh

To JoC,

The thing is, my little bro threatens suicide for reals. We get him immediate help and we show up in person to help and I am sure that helps. For a bit, but life goes on.

And that is where I live and where he lives too.

He may not be an emergency but he is on the cusp. Every moment now.

We show up and ask he gets professional help and the help he gets asks him to focus on the chick that has done him wrong. Because that is where his thoughts are so that is why they do that.

But it does not solve anything. The chick he is hung up on is bad news; no one should want her. That is a fact. And so the sad story is my little bro gets hung up on chicks that are not worth his time. Every freaking time, it is this. 

He should want more for himself.

Objectively speaking, I think he is worth more.

Realtistically speaking, if I get him with a good woman, I am saddling that woman with a man that has issues. It is always much easier to have a man that is confident than not. Just a fact.

But I would do that for my little bro. He may have issues but he is truly a decent guy. Well worth it, I think.