Clean clothes

JMack88

My mom has started something new.  Last year she kept bringing me small laundry loads of 2-3 items every day.  This was frustrating as washing once a week instead of every day saves water and energy.  Plus it's just easier to do everything at once and get it over with for the week.

During the summer my sister took mom to mom's summer place, and due to issues with the septic system, they used a laundromat all summer.  My sister got mom back into the habit of doing everything once a week.  This lasted about 2 months after they got back.

Now mom is bringing me small loads again, but my sister and I have noticed she's bringing the same items to us to be washed, sometimes the day after we washed them.

What's the best way to address this without a confrontation or the inevitable "I'll wash it myself." when she feels we don't want to do something she wants us to do?  My sister has suggested getting labels that we put on things after they've been washed so she knows what is clean.  

I just don't want fights about every little thing, but this daily laundry stuff has got to stop.  We're going through laundry soap at a ridiculous rate.

Thanks for any suggestions!

PickledCondiment

Welcome to the frequent laundry club, here's my nickel.  I'm sure your mom has enough clothes, why not simply take the laundry she gives you and keep it until you have a load?  I use this method with my mom with success.  When she looks for something specific, 'oh, I've been busy, I'll get that washed right away'.  She forgets she's asked me and I do the laundry when I do laundry.   Plus, it is easier to convince her she has other clothes to wear.

JMack88

@PickledCondiment I can try this.  But another part of this problem is, she tries to come downstairs to "check for her clean laundry" or to "wash her stuff" and my sister and I really don't want her to.  First, because she's a little unsteady on her feet and we don't want her to fall down the basement stairs.  Second, because we don't want her to try to do her own laundry because she screws with the settings on the machines and the clothes won't get cleaned properly - she'll shrink them or something because she cannot remember how to use the washer.  

The obsession with laundry is so bad that even when she hasn't had anything washed she'll still try to come downstairs to check for things that she can't find in her room for whatever reason.  

terei

Put the clean clothes in the drier for a few minutes + return them to her after the appropriate amount of time has passed.  my mom used to want to wash clothes 10 times a day

harshedbuzz

"Mom, let me do that for you as I have a few things I want to wash, too" 

Disappear down the stairs and depending on where she is vis a vis short term memory, toss them in the dryer on fluff for a couple minutes/ toss then unfolded into a basket and return them to her to fold and put away. If she's still fairly aware of time, you might need to run them until they're a little warm before returning them to her.

Maybe even engage her in folding dish towels of face cloths if laundry is her thing currently. One of the gentlemen in mom's IRL ALZ support group had a similar issue. He had his wife's granddaughter come and match up her clothing by what goes together and store by season in totes in their storage closet. He left his wife 5 outfits with which to fuss over and drag out of the closet and drawers. He'd swap the 5 for a new group of outfits every couple of weeks. It didn't extinguish the behavior, but it cut down on the clean up. 

Staying off the stairs is "Doctor's orders". Rinse and repeat. YMMV.

HB

Emily 123

....you guys are so smart!

[Deleted User]

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Not quite caregiver

I had no idea this was a common thing - when my MIL came to live with us, she brought me her laundry every day and wanted it washed. 

I have no advice, I know that for us it was probably luck more than anything else - I refused to do daily laundry from the start and she had no idea how to operate our washer and didn't even try. She grumbled about it, and claimed repeatedly that she didn't have enough clothes, but eventually she seemed to accept that we just do things weirdly at our house, LOL. I mean, she still complains, but seems to accept our assurances that her clothes will be washed on Saturday. 

AlyJo

I also have been dealing with this for about 6mos, nope it is longer but time all runs together after 5 years of caring for someone.  Always wants to know when he can do laundry.  Doesn't know what to do with it after it is washed so he puts it in the dirty clothes hamper and tells me he has more laundry.  All in the same day.

Drives me crazy, nope it has driven me crazy, along with the other on going complaints that I don't do things right.