Just need a virtual hug today

Doby

Hi everyone. My DH has been taking Seroquel (200 mg each night) for about 6 weeks now for delusions and paranoia. I thought it was working but things now actually seem to be getting worse. He is afraid to go to bed at night because he thinks that men are in our house and they are threatening him, pulling his pants down, and breaking into our gun cabinet. He now sleeps with several "weapons" such as an aluminum baseball bat, a golf club and various flashlights and sticks to use as weapons. I have been dealing with the anger and paranoia pretty well until this morning when my DH texted me to call him. When I called he said that he had fallen on the stairs and he was upset, but this topic quickly changed over to the men in the house. DH started sobbing on the phone with me and said that he is a broken man, that he can't live like this anymore. All of his fear, paranoia and anxiety is based on something that isn't even real and over the past 4 years of this there seems to be nothing I can say or do to make it better for him! I am at a loss and the tears are definitely flowing! 

I just tried to call his PCP for some guidance but, of course, it's a Friday afternoon and the PCP isn't in the office. We do have an appointment with a geriatric/memory care specialist in 2 weeks, but man that seems like a long time from now!

How do I help my DH and hang on for 2 more weeks? How do you all do what you do?

loveskitties

A virtual hug is on its way.

I have no solutions for you, but I do have a major concern regarding his arsenal of "weapons" at the ready.  It is not out of the realm of possibility that he might confuse you with the "intruders" and do you harm.  You need to get them out of his control.

If things get too out of hand, you may just need to call 911 and have him admitted for a psych. eval.  Your safety is of the upmost priority.

eaglemom

I'm so sorry this is happening to the both of you. Even though its Friday afternoon, the PCP should have an emergency service. I would try that. You might even call the memory care specialist office that your going to in two weeks. Explain your situation and see if they might be able to help you.

You can call the help line 800-272-3900 at any time for some guidance. Ask to speak with the care consultant.

Here is a big virtual hug for the both of you.

eagle

Doby

Thank you! I do see the potential for this to escalate to the point of being unsafe. Safe room and cell phone are at the ready!

Doby

Hi Eagle.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely give them a try.

Doityourselfer

Sending a huge hug to you.

Stuck in the middle

Big hug!

Your husband is miserable and you are in danger.  I would not wait two weeks or two days to get him admitted to hospital for some antipsychotic meds.  I would call the police if necessary, tell them your husband is hallucinating and delusional, and that you are in danger.  He needs a psychiatrist, now.  Don't wait until he is actively hallucinating again and has to be disarmed and subdued by police officers.  Someone (like you and/or your husband) could be badly hurt.  This can turn tragic as easily as a pizza deliverer coming to the wrong door and being mistaken for one of "the men."

How do we do it?  I don't know, one day at a time, I guess.  I have caused people to be admitted to psych hospitals, more than once, and to long term care facilities, also more than once.  I just work at it like a job, using the best tools available for the challenges of the day.  

Some days are better than others.  With the right meds, you and your husband can have better days.

piozam13

H U G G G G G G S S S

ButterflyWings

Dear Doby-  you ok?

Thinking about you and wondering how things are going? I went through exactly what you have described and it was a scary, exhausting phase, but it did pass. At the time though, I removed anything that could be weaponized, and kept tweaking the meds dosage and scheduling — working with my DH’s doc (and the 24/7 helpline and after hours on call Dr). 

You might need to give part of that evening dose earlier, before sundowning starts. I swear by Seroquel,  but it has to be spaced out for us, or doesn’t work so well. Maybe ask your DH’s neuropsych about that? We do 100mg  in the a.m. 50 midday, then 100 again at bedtime. Used to be 75mg every 5-6 hrs while awake.

Another thought: Over the counter Melatonin became a godsend as a quick backup to make him safely drowsy, and then he was less agitated plus I could disappear the bat, knives, garden tool, hammer or whatever he had armed himself with.  I couldn’t leave him alone by that stage though, It may be time to ensure your DH always has company and redirection to feel safer.

The worst hallucinations & delusions turned out to be due to a silent UTI. Please check for that. ASAP. The super crazies, weaponing up and paranoia really lessened after we got the UTI under control. He’s has 3 or 4 in the last 2 years and it causes the worst behavior ever!

Be safe! Let us know how you’re doing. 

Doby

Hi Butterfly.

Thank you for thinking of me. I'm doing better so far this week. The last 3 nights have been uneventful which has been wonderful, because we've both been able to get some quality sleep!

I will definitely ask his doctor about spacing out the Seroquel rather than giving him 200 mg all at one time before bed. And, I have a home UTI test at the ready so will see if that might be the culprit! 

I was able to negotiate him down to 2 weapons in the bed - golf club and flashlight. The rest are now stored in a storage container under the bed. I know that the golf club and flashlight are both very dangerous so I'll continue working to get rid of those.  

How long did this phase last for your DH? Mine has been delusional like this since 2017. The delusions have changed over the years but still the same intensity and still the same theme of paranoia, distrust and people out to get him. I can't seem to get a handle on what stage he might be in because he still has all of his ADLs, but has difficulty finding words, vision problems, etc.