Advice with how to communicate with a parent prone to aggression?

ahree90

My mother and I are the caregivers for my father with Alzheimer's. We've both been struggling with how to communicate with him about the various daily needs we need to help him with. At his initial diagnosis he could better understand us when would try to explain that it's not his fault he needs help with the bathroom and getting dressed (a point that would leave him in a depressive state initially). On his easier days he could still do it himself and we could simply layout what he needs to wear that day for him to dress himself with. As his Alzheimer's has progressed, however, it has not been easy to get through to him and is prone to becoming aggressive to both me and my mother. 

The most troubling behavior so far is his habit of hiding and taking apart his diapers (both used and new). We've tried everything we feel is possible to minimize this but he seems to always find a way. When we try to change and dress him ourselves he will become nonverbal and simply stare at us; and if we try to help him stand up to change him he becomes aggressive. He's not like this everyday so we aren't sure if it's time to consider professional at-home care.

My mother and I would greatly appreciate it if anyone had tips on how to better communicate with him. We've tried keeping our words as simple as possible for him so as to not overwhelm him but it still feels like it's not registering for him. 

Or if the LO you're taking care of also have been prone to hiding/taking apart their used diapers, any tips would be appreciated. That can be half the problem for us most days.

Thank you all in advance!

Michael Ellenbogen

II could help you but we would  need to speak  on the phone or internet by zoom. Reach  out to me privately.  The only thing I can is that way you learn is to share it with  others her to help them as I am unable to do that.