My mom keeps telling me to get out of her house

glitz4ever

Every so often my mom will ask me why I am at her house.  She will get angry and tells me to get out.  I realy don't know how to respond.  Usually, I just leave (reluctantly).  I don't like leaving her when she is in one of her anger moods.  But sometimes I find that I am not able to calm her down.  

Does this happen to anyone else?

grammyteacher

My mom used to say that to me...and we were in my home. I would just say I understand mom, and go to another room and quietly work on stuff, do laundry, sweep and clean the kitchen. Maybe you could try just quietly doing a few chores, staying out of her way.

For a smile: mom once told my 2 year old grandson to "get out of my house"   He very sweetly tried to explain to her, "brahma, dis is not yous house, dis is brammys house, yous house is in 'Cotsdale with Brampa tuck" then he went off to play! 

ninalu

I love grammyteacher's suggestion.

Something like you describe happened between my mom and I relatively early in her Alzheimer's journey. The scenario was: 

1. Mom didn't like something I said or did
2. I tried to fix and/or understand it
3. By trying to fix or understand, I just made it worse (she got more upset, not less)
4. I'd say something like, "I see you're upset and that I'm not helping. I'm stepping out to run an errand, and I'll call you / see you later."
5. I'd go out the front door and come in a side door, quietly, and keep an ear / eye out. Usually it only took minutes to "reset" the situation. 

Eventually, for me and mom, these interactions passed - it was like a stage that we went through. I was mom's live-in person and it was our house, so I didn't really leave. But it was important to give mom the sense of HER house and HER space; so that she didn't feel constantly supervised, accompanied, and crowded. She was losing so much control over her life at the time when these interactions happened. I saw this more clearly in retrospect. 

glitz4ever

thank you grammyteacher and ninalu, I will try these diversions.

Iris L.

You didn't mention this but occasionally the PWD will not recognize you as an older person.  She may be looking for her young child.

Iris

Arrowhead

My wife often says to me, "come on over to my house". She thinks she's living with her deceased parents.