Need help/suggestions on what to do with MIL who has obsessive hypersexuality

JMG2021

My 72 MIL with EOAD (diagnosed in 2018 but symptoms starting in 2011) lives in a AD residential living facility.  We were recently contacted via a letter that the facility is requesting her removal due to her obsessive inappropriate  hypersexuality with another resident.  This is the second facility she has resided in the last 2 years.  The first facility she also was requested to leave for this behavior along with wandering into other residents rooms, eating their food, etc.  We both work full time with 2 very young children and do not have other family to help with this.  The full time residential is the only way she will be fully cared for and it’s vital she stays there or can be recommended to another facility. Has anyone had experiences working with facilities on this behavior.  We really need guidance.  We don’t have any way for her to leave the facility.

M1

Welcome to the forum. I would ask for a psych consult, it may well require medication to control this behavior, and it may require an inpatient admission to get it regulated. I would inquire if the facility has a geriatric psychiatrist they work with. If not, I would ask if they will hold her room while you have her admitted/evaluated. So sorry, but glad you asked.

MN Chickadee

What nature of "residential setting" is it? An assisted living will not deal with this, they would just kick her out. I have not encountered the kind of memory care unit (as in not AL) that would send me a letter; this is the type of thing that would come up in person a number of times in the build up to extreme behavior or I would at least get a phone call from the head nurse. If it is true memory care, does the staff have training and experience with dementia. Not that they can necessarily re-direct this behavior (maybe, maybe not with a skilled staff) but that they should see that she needs medical intervention. While this kind of behavior is challenging, it is not all that uncommon.  There are medications that may help. Some people with dementia (PWD) get violent, some get depressed, some get hyper-sexual, some get weepy, some get obsessive compulsive, there are so many things that can happen when the brain has this disease and there are often medications to help if you seek the right professional with the right  training. A geriatric psychiatrist would be the person most equipped to tinker with treating this and finding the right med(s.)  It could require an inpatient stay at a geriatric psych facility for a few weeks, or if there is someone who can see her out patient that may work. If the facility has a social worker you need to talk to them immediately. If you can tell us more about what kind of facility it is and what kind of license they have we may be able to give better advice on how to approach it with them.  The Alzhiemers Association has a hotline that offers consults free of charge and may be able to see what psychiatric resources are in your area. The number is 1-800-272-3900.

JMG2021

Thanks for the responses.   It is good to know this can be a common part of the degradation and we can go for a psych consult.  The facility is a AD specific facility.  We were shocked when we got the letter.  We received one phone call earlier that week notifying us of the behavior and were assured they were able to address it.  2 days later we got the letter.  No communication in between.  A meeting has been set up to talk it through.  We’re hoping we can get a plan and she can stay.