Rural: Where do you find in-home respite care?

Lynne D

I live with the HWD in a rural area, and am struggling to find respite care. Care.com yields nothing within 50 miles, the Alzheimer's Association local chapter does not list resources. I am going to call them tomorrow for a "care consultation" but it is an 800 number and I don't have high hopes.

Licensed, unlicensed, I don't care. I just need respite.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions.

M1

Lynne I’m in the same boat. Haven’t needed it yet, but I’ve thought about calling the local hospital- they sometimes keep lists of sitters for patients who need them-and maybe any nearby nursing homes and doctors offices too. Sometimes you jut might find someone eager to pick up extra work. Good luck-

JoseyWales

I'm fairly rural, and lucked into finding care. It took me asking around and telling everyone I knew that I was looking for help. I discovered a group of women that provide caregiving independently. It's not really a company, all are paid individually, and no one is in charge. No contracts, no training, no bosses... Basically just like it sounds - a group of women who provide caregiving. All different abilities and knowledge.

Last summer I found someone that I used to go to church with who is between jobs and is willing to help me out right now. She's the best thing that could have happened to us, and isn't charging me half of what she's worth. But we only matched up because I was telling everyone I knew that I NEEDED help, and it got back to her.

Honestly, I was looking for someone for over a year before I discovered the first group, and another year before I found the person who's here with DH most days. (I work)  It was a lot of asking around and following up on ideas from others. Many of my leads (which didn't work out for various reasons) came when I put out a request for help to my friends on facebook.

Joydean

Lynn and M1, I too am in the same boat. A friend of mine recommended hospice care. I told her he doesn’t need that kind of help. I did not know that different hospice organizations provided different help, not all are just for those facing end of life. I did not know that. Any way I contacted them to see if they could come and just be with him, keep an eye out for him and yes they do. It is even covered by Medicare. I don’t know where you guys live but it’s worth checking out. I live in Texas, but the closest neighbor is 5 miles away and I have never seen them, their house is a good mile and half from road and gated.  It’s 20 miles just to go to grocery store. But it’s what we wanted 8 years ago when we moved here.

60 falcon

I don't know if your husband qualifies for Medicaid, but if so, there may be some kind of Medicaid Waiver program that provides in-home care/respite. Here in Wisconsin there is a Medicaid Waiver program that will provide that service.

I couldn't find any businesses providing that service where we live, because of staff shortages and distance to our home.  I don't want to be an employer so I didn't look for a private individual to hire. (I don't want to be responsible for payroll, taxes, etc) But under this Medicaid Waiver program, the state has contracts with a couple businesses and they'd be required to provide that service to us, according to the County ADRC.

My wife doesn't qualify for Medicaid yet, but when she does I'll probably get serious about looking into that. In the meantime, I drive her an hour each way to adult daycare.  It's definitely not convenient or ideal, but I get a bit of a break and she seems to like it most of the time.  

Caregiver burnout is no fun, which is where I'm at too often.

Ed1937

Lynne, you have some very good suggestions above. One thing I'd like to caution you about. If it's possible that Medicaid might be in your future, you will probably need a contract with the caregiver because Medicaid likely has a five year lookback period. If you simply just paid them for their services, Medicaid could look at that money spent, and decide that you just gave it away. That could cause big problems for you.

A Medicaid waiver, if I'm not mistaken, has different criteria to meet to qualify for help. So unless you're wealthy, don't assume you will not qualify. 

Rescue mom

I don’t know how “rural” or how much community you have nearby, but I did word-of-mouth, and  network, network, network. I told everybody I was looking for help. Spread the word. A neighbor, who had no such need, knew somebody else, who did.

Do you have a local support group? Many are back now, and that was always about the best place for finding local help and resources.

 If I saw a person out with a aide/caregiver, I’d ask the aide if they knew anybody else. (Forget being shy, I was desperate). Friends may know someone else who had or has an aide. Aides have their own “network”, seems like, even if they’re busy, they know others. . My  local Alzheimer’s Association was a good source, but I talked to the *local* chapter.

 Nursing homes and care facilities usually have names on hand. Hospitals, too, probably as someone said. The biggest problem is finding the person who will/can tell you. Maybe start by asking hospital for someone who works in discharge, where they set up care for departing patients (at least here in my area). If you just ask the first person who answers (if even a person) they may not take time to help. Maybe you have to fib a bit to get there…

I saw people who hung around outside facilities waiting for aides to come out, so they could ask the aide about others.

If you can find any community “bulletin boards” either IRL or online like Next Door, put notes there. Friends say they’ve found helpers via the community college (which also has newsletters and bulletin boards) students.

Any kind of senior center/gathering place—even in rural areas, maybe a store?— usually has bulletin boards for help; many churches do, too.Actually, calling a church and asking if they know anybody, might help. Church might know somebody who uses aides, and those aides might know others. Etc.

Mint

When I worked at the hospital there were some aides, just a few, who worked for individuals also.  So if you know a health care worker they might know someone.  Not very many did this though.

A friend told me they heard a facility not to far from me had to close due to lack of staff.  My neighbor uses an agency for his wife M-F.  Have noticed since pandemic that frequently they don’t have a care giver each day.  I feel bad for them.

Wish you the best

M1

Churches are a good idea--and the best bulletin board in our town is at the Farm Coop.  Can't hurt to ask!!

Rescue mom

It is a fact that the facilities and agencies  in my area are desperately short-staffed and looking to hire. I think it’s harder now. Desperate times, desperate measures….

We’re in new times, but seems like there’s still some who want the flexibility and just a few hours (more or less) vs. a full-time “corporate” job and/or the demands of working for  an agency, which I’m told can be tough.

Gig Harbor

If you have Facebook groups in your area you could post on FB looking for companions. I found two wonderful caregivers this way.

Lynne D

THANKS everyone for the terrific suggestions.

Old89

If you decide to hire someone independently, there is the tax issue to deal with.   Also insurance.  I found that Care.com has a service in their menu that was not very difficult to set up.  Once set up, they enrolled the independent person and do the accounting for taxes and deduct them from our bank account.   It is relatively painless.  They also offer worker compensation insurance.  I arranged it through my insurance agent instead.  It was an additional expense but there is peace of mind involved.   Your homeowners insurance likely will not cover a paid caregiver who is injured at your home, which exposes you to liability personally.   With worker's compensation insurance, that risk is reduced or eliminated.  

It seemed a bit much when I started but it really was not and now is running very smoothly.  

jfkoc

and check to see if a caregiver is mentioned in an obituary

Shevie

I sure hope you get something in place for you yo have a little time you need desperately. I am lucky to have friends willing to step in to help out. Very grateful

Shevie

Great idea