Privacy and Friends/Caregivers

Dps8138

I have only posted a few times but have a new issue and would like some feedback. My DW lifelong friend occasionally offers to give me a break and takes my DW for the afternoon. The  friend is constantly taking pictures and recording videos with the 2 of them and sending them to people not close to my wife or I. Has anyone experienced  this type of issue?  Just seems self serving on the part of the friend.

abc123

It's nice that your DW has a friend to spend time with, but I feel like she's overstepping boundaries. My sister post pictures of our mom on her fb page. I personally feel that when a PWD gets to a certain stage, that PWD would not want pictures posted and passed along. That's just me and how I feel about it. If you are not comfortable with this you can ask her to stop.

Good luck!

Rescue mom

Ask them—nicely, while saying how appreciative you are for her time—to please stop circulating or sending or sharing her images. Tell the friend you have privacy concerns. Tell her you’re worried about scammers, hackers and/or others.

There is a lot of attention on this now, and it’s not unusual, and certainly not out of line, to ask. Many, if not most, parents don’t want kids’ photos out there, for similar reasons. This is a huge topic now, so such requests are not unusual.

Dps8138

Thank you for the advice, I was searching for a way to make her friend aware of my concerns without driving her away.

Jo C.

Oh gosh; you are right on spot to be concerned; that is truly inappropriate and must stop.  The idea of letting your friend know how much you appreciate her help and are deeply grateful is important.  You can even say, "By the way; I have some new concerns after input from the Alzheimer's Assn. Membership regarding photographs and videos being made and sent to others for persons with dementia ; I was not aware and now I see how that can be . . . ."

Then you can let her know the concerns as stated by Rescue Mom and you can also inform her that you were unaware of federal HIPAA Laws governing absolute privacy for any patient with a condition and that one cannot use photos, videos or even information about a person's condition to others without being in violation of the federal law . . . "Oh my goodness; I was so surprised and now am glad to know about this so we can be more careful, and of course all photos and videos must be deleted and no more can be made. . . . etc.; "  You may also want to give her a little gift in acknowledgement of her help; some candy, or other little token item so she will feel your appreciation.

Let us know how this goes; so hope it will work out to be fine.

J.

French

I think that if you don’t want to lose this precious help, you should just tell them that your spouse certainly wouldn’t like that pictures of her circulate, but you would be very glad to have them because it is very good memories for your wife. I think they should understand.

And I also agree that you first must thank them for their help. It is very precious, I know it.